One of my favourite things to write about...
Good morning readers! I have been excited to write this blog post for you because -as cheesy as it sounds- Reece or mine and Reece's relationship, is one of my favourite things to write about because it's so happy! We have stayed just as in love, if not more since having Ella-Grace and I often get asked 'How do you make time for each other?' and that is how this blog post came about. I hope you find the the tips helpful or just enjoy reading how me and Reece have managed to keep our relationship strong since becoming parents.
A bit of info on our relationship...
So, I don't think I have ever gone into massive detail about mine and Reece's relationship before. How is started, how long we have been together etc. So I thought I would do that first. Reece and I have been together for 5 years now, I met him in my last year of school at a friend's birthday party. We bonded over the horrible taste of beer and we were both a bit shy compared to the other people at the party so I guess we just gravitated to each other (maybe it was fate).
When he had to leave that night he asked for my number and the rest is history.
Funny story, I was so shy when I met Reece that I barely looked at his face (tried to stare at my hands or anywhere else, I must of looked so nervous) so when he left that day up until I met up with him next I couldn't actually remember what he looked like hahaha! Now I see his face everyday I think it's imprinted in my memory for life! He has such a pretty face.... but I'm getting off track.
So yes as I said the rest is history. We moved in, got engaged, had our beautiful daughter and are now planning our 2018 wedding. Crazy how much can happen in 5 years! (Insert old pics).
Yes, we have have had arguments...
Now, I am not trying to sell us as this magical, fairytale relationship because of course it's not we have had some bad arguments, not often though to be honest. We always have this running joke after we have a big argument and make up, one of us end's up saying 'Well that's it till next year"!
As I was saying, I am in no way saying we are a the 'perfect couple', I mean there is really no such thing is there? But we are happy and love each other very much and I guess that's as close to perfect you can get.
The Tips...
1. Communication
This is the most important yet the easiest to forget. Communication in any relationship is key to maintaining it. Reece and I tell each other everything and always have, before Ella-Grace was born we had all the time in the world to talk about anything we wanted to. But when we had Ella-Grace everything became about her- as it should- so Reece and I found ourselves communicating only about Ella-Grace. Leaving him not being able to tell me about his work and me not telling him about how I was doing postpartum. So after a few weeks when everything settled we decided to fix this issue by simply asking questions! How was work? How was your day? How are you feeling? We would ask each other these questions if nothing else, every day. Making sure we each got out anything we needed to vent, keeping communication going and supporting one another.
So that's the tip here if you are struggling with communication since having a baby.... ASK QUESTIONS! I know it can be hard to remember when being a parent is the focus of your life but you have to remember to look after each other, through doing that you will both feel happy and be able to be the best parents you can be.
2. Date night
This is one you can only do when you feel comfortable and ready, go on a date. I had a tough time with baby blues, had a panic attack pretty much every night for the first 2 weeks of Ella-Grace's life. Obviously the fact I was a mum kept be going but as well as this Reece planned a date night for when Ella-Grace was a month old, to give me a chance to relax and show me what a good job I had been doing (he's cute like that). My sister watched Ella-Grace for 2 hours while we went for our date and although I pretty much spent the whole night texting my sister to check on the baby it was nice to sit with Reece and hold hands and be us. From then we decided that once a month we would do this and celebrate us. Which is again important. I know this is hard for some mothers and fathers to leave their baby- trust me I cried so much before hand- so don't feel you need to rush into it. Even if your date night is having a meal in the kitchen while your mum watching baby in the living room, that is still some time to spend as a couple and enjoy each other's company. This is another opportunity to open good communication between you and your partner also.
3. Don't Let Arguments Get Too Far
In the q&a I wrote last week, one of the questions was 'Do you and Reece argue more since becoming parents?' To which me and Reece answered no, we don't argue more but we do argue about different things and in the first few weeks when you are sleep deprived, the arguments can be quite petty. The trick is to not let the arguments go to far and try to forgive. For me when I get into an argument my anxiety always kicks in which can lead me to start having a panic attack due to the tension, which makes it hard for me not to keep arguing. I know that might sound confusing so here is an example if me and Reece are arguing and Reece (being his calm self) tries to walk away so we can both calm down, my anxiety kicks in and I can't let him walk off. I have to keep speaking, pacing and even if the argument is resolved I'm still spouting out anxious words. Reece is used to this and just let's me rant it out until I calm down, then we kiss and we are fine- this being what I mean by not letting things go to far.
I could stand and rant for an hour straight, Reece I'm sure is dying for me to shut up but we don't shout or scream or make threats. Instead we argue, we rant then kiss and its over. We love each other and we are not breaking up so what's the point in arguing. That is what every couple should remember in petty arguments, in the end you love each other so there is no point ruining that with threats and shouting. If the argument is serious enough that there is a potential for break up, that is a different story and I can't help you with that, sorry.
So yeah to round this tip up, yes arguments will happen but let them pan out, make up and never go to bed angry!
4. The Little Things
Some of my favourite times of the day, when small gestures are made. If you aren't ready for a full on date night or can't find time to sit and have supper together (which me and Reece definitely couldn't during the first month of being parents) there are still little things that mean so much. A hug, a kiss, a joke, something silly. All these little things are so important and I know things like silliness and jokes are part of the reason I fell in love with Reece, he always made me smile no matter what. So like communication after the first few weeks me and Reece were really trying to appreciate the little things that could be our time for example whenever Ella-Grace was having a nap we would give each other a big hug and say I love you, when I was feeding Ella-Grace we would watch a film or have a funny conversation about something silly. These times reminding me how much I loved Reece and that even though we are parents now, to each other we were still the same people that fell in love five years ago.
The little things. Reminding your partner of the reasons you fell in love or just reminding them that you do love them, can mean the world and will definitely help keep your relationship strong.
5. Stay Up That Little Bit Longer
I know, I know, sleep deprived enough and you should really 'sleep when baby is sleeping' but I tried this and I just felt that I seen Reece when he came home from work, fell asleep, then he was away again. Which made things so much harder because as I said communication is key and if you are sleeping there is no communication. I felt quite lonely at this point and all I wanted to do was cuddle Reece, watch a movie with him and ask him about his day. Which is exactly what we started doing and still do now. Yes we are more tired the next day but we both feel happy we had that time together to chill and communicate. Just like we did before Ella-Grace.
So if you and your partner are up for being a little bit extra tired now and again, I highly recommend this. It's worth your time.
6. Remember Your A Couple
Just a little one to finish. Remember your a couple. Yes, you are a mum and a dad ( or two mums or two dads, whatever your family situation may be) which are very important roles that should always be at the centre of who you are but you are also two people, in love and that is equally as wonderful. Remember it and appreciate it, cause not everyone has a happily ever after. This I make sure I never take for granted.
Thanks for reading...
So that's my tips, I hope they work for you and if not, comment below what works in your relationship. Thank you for reading as usual, I love hearing all the feedback. While your waiting for the next blog post why not check out one of my articles on 'Baby GaGa' (links below).
15 Crazy Laws That Actually Discriminate Against Pregnant Women
15 Most Ruthless Single Moms
15 Moms Reveal The One Thing They Said They Would Never Do But Ended Up Doing Anyway
Also if you want to follow my day to day life please follow my social media linked on my main blog page.
Till next time readers.
Stay Happy Everyone :)!
A bit of info on our relationship...
So, I don't think I have ever gone into massive detail about mine and Reece's relationship before. How is started, how long we have been together etc. So I thought I would do that first. Reece and I have been together for 5 years now, I met him in my last year of school at a friend's birthday party. We bonded over the horrible taste of beer and we were both a bit shy compared to the other people at the party so I guess we just gravitated to each other (maybe it was fate).
When he had to leave that night he asked for my number and the rest is history.
Funny story, I was so shy when I met Reece that I barely looked at his face (tried to stare at my hands or anywhere else, I must of looked so nervous) so when he left that day up until I met up with him next I couldn't actually remember what he looked like hahaha! Now I see his face everyday I think it's imprinted in my memory for life! He has such a pretty face.... but I'm getting off track.
So yes as I said the rest is history. We moved in, got engaged, had our beautiful daughter and are now planning our 2018 wedding. Crazy how much can happen in 5 years! (Insert old pics).
Yes, we have have had arguments...
Now, I am not trying to sell us as this magical, fairytale relationship because of course it's not we have had some bad arguments, not often though to be honest. We always have this running joke after we have a big argument and make up, one of us end's up saying 'Well that's it till next year"!
As I was saying, I am in no way saying we are a the 'perfect couple', I mean there is really no such thing is there? But we are happy and love each other very much and I guess that's as close to perfect you can get.
The Tips...
1. Communication
This is the most important yet the easiest to forget. Communication in any relationship is key to maintaining it. Reece and I tell each other everything and always have, before Ella-Grace was born we had all the time in the world to talk about anything we wanted to. But when we had Ella-Grace everything became about her- as it should- so Reece and I found ourselves communicating only about Ella-Grace. Leaving him not being able to tell me about his work and me not telling him about how I was doing postpartum. So after a few weeks when everything settled we decided to fix this issue by simply asking questions! How was work? How was your day? How are you feeling? We would ask each other these questions if nothing else, every day. Making sure we each got out anything we needed to vent, keeping communication going and supporting one another.
So that's the tip here if you are struggling with communication since having a baby.... ASK QUESTIONS! I know it can be hard to remember when being a parent is the focus of your life but you have to remember to look after each other, through doing that you will both feel happy and be able to be the best parents you can be.
2. Date night
This is one you can only do when you feel comfortable and ready, go on a date. I had a tough time with baby blues, had a panic attack pretty much every night for the first 2 weeks of Ella-Grace's life. Obviously the fact I was a mum kept be going but as well as this Reece planned a date night for when Ella-Grace was a month old, to give me a chance to relax and show me what a good job I had been doing (he's cute like that). My sister watched Ella-Grace for 2 hours while we went for our date and although I pretty much spent the whole night texting my sister to check on the baby it was nice to sit with Reece and hold hands and be us. From then we decided that once a month we would do this and celebrate us. Which is again important. I know this is hard for some mothers and fathers to leave their baby- trust me I cried so much before hand- so don't feel you need to rush into it. Even if your date night is having a meal in the kitchen while your mum watching baby in the living room, that is still some time to spend as a couple and enjoy each other's company. This is another opportunity to open good communication between you and your partner also.
3. Don't Let Arguments Get Too Far
In the q&a I wrote last week, one of the questions was 'Do you and Reece argue more since becoming parents?' To which me and Reece answered no, we don't argue more but we do argue about different things and in the first few weeks when you are sleep deprived, the arguments can be quite petty. The trick is to not let the arguments go to far and try to forgive. For me when I get into an argument my anxiety always kicks in which can lead me to start having a panic attack due to the tension, which makes it hard for me not to keep arguing. I know that might sound confusing so here is an example if me and Reece are arguing and Reece (being his calm self) tries to walk away so we can both calm down, my anxiety kicks in and I can't let him walk off. I have to keep speaking, pacing and even if the argument is resolved I'm still spouting out anxious words. Reece is used to this and just let's me rant it out until I calm down, then we kiss and we are fine- this being what I mean by not letting things go to far.
I could stand and rant for an hour straight, Reece I'm sure is dying for me to shut up but we don't shout or scream or make threats. Instead we argue, we rant then kiss and its over. We love each other and we are not breaking up so what's the point in arguing. That is what every couple should remember in petty arguments, in the end you love each other so there is no point ruining that with threats and shouting. If the argument is serious enough that there is a potential for break up, that is a different story and I can't help you with that, sorry.
So yeah to round this tip up, yes arguments will happen but let them pan out, make up and never go to bed angry!
4. The Little Things
Some of my favourite times of the day, when small gestures are made. If you aren't ready for a full on date night or can't find time to sit and have supper together (which me and Reece definitely couldn't during the first month of being parents) there are still little things that mean so much. A hug, a kiss, a joke, something silly. All these little things are so important and I know things like silliness and jokes are part of the reason I fell in love with Reece, he always made me smile no matter what. So like communication after the first few weeks me and Reece were really trying to appreciate the little things that could be our time for example whenever Ella-Grace was having a nap we would give each other a big hug and say I love you, when I was feeding Ella-Grace we would watch a film or have a funny conversation about something silly. These times reminding me how much I loved Reece and that even though we are parents now, to each other we were still the same people that fell in love five years ago.
The little things. Reminding your partner of the reasons you fell in love or just reminding them that you do love them, can mean the world and will definitely help keep your relationship strong.
5. Stay Up That Little Bit Longer
I know, I know, sleep deprived enough and you should really 'sleep when baby is sleeping' but I tried this and I just felt that I seen Reece when he came home from work, fell asleep, then he was away again. Which made things so much harder because as I said communication is key and if you are sleeping there is no communication. I felt quite lonely at this point and all I wanted to do was cuddle Reece, watch a movie with him and ask him about his day. Which is exactly what we started doing and still do now. Yes we are more tired the next day but we both feel happy we had that time together to chill and communicate. Just like we did before Ella-Grace.
So if you and your partner are up for being a little bit extra tired now and again, I highly recommend this. It's worth your time.
6. Remember Your A Couple
Just a little one to finish. Remember your a couple. Yes, you are a mum and a dad ( or two mums or two dads, whatever your family situation may be) which are very important roles that should always be at the centre of who you are but you are also two people, in love and that is equally as wonderful. Remember it and appreciate it, cause not everyone has a happily ever after. This I make sure I never take for granted.
Thanks for reading...
So that's my tips, I hope they work for you and if not, comment below what works in your relationship. Thank you for reading as usual, I love hearing all the feedback. While your waiting for the next blog post why not check out one of my articles on 'Baby GaGa' (links below).
15 Crazy Laws That Actually Discriminate Against Pregnant Women
15 Most Ruthless Single Moms
15 Moms Reveal The One Thing They Said They Would Never Do But Ended Up Doing Anyway
Also if you want to follow my day to day life please follow my social media linked on my main blog page.
Till next time readers.
Stay Happy Everyone :)!
No comments:
Post a Comment