Our Breastfeeding Journey

A post many of you have been waiting for and one I have been very excited to write. I am now 7 months into exclusively breastfeeding and LOVING it (although it has come with its challenges of course). 
So, with my silver boobs badge on and new knowledge/experience of breastfeeding I hope to help other Mamas hoping to breastfeed. 

My thoughts on breast vs bottle...

Reece bottle feeding Ella-Grace

So, I guess we should start with the age old- somewhat controversial- debate. Firstly, I think there should be no 'VS', this is not a fight, we are all mothers trying to do the best for their baby and everyone's circumstances are different so no matter your opinion you should always support your fellow Mother. 

I have experienced both bottle feeding and breastfeeding and so I do believe I had a holistic view. 

Me breastfeeding Sunday

My opinion, and speaking truthfully is that breast milk is of course better. It is the healthiest option, the milk is made for your baby and speaking from an environmentalist stand point it is far more environmentally friendly than formula. There is no competition for the amazing antibodies in breast milk along with so many benefits for mother and baby. BUT this does not mean that bottle feeding is bad NOT AT ALL! There are women who physically cannot breastfeed or their circumstances mean they are unable to. Some women find it overwhelming, painful, mentally draining or simply do not want to. It is a Mothers choice and that should not be judged. Breastfeeding may be natural but that certainly does not mean it is easy and although I definitely think breastfeeding should be encouraged and more information should be readily available to pregnant women and new mothers I also support bottle feeding as in many situations it can save the lives of many babies and the mental health of a Mother. It is a choice only the Mother can make and she should be supported whatever she chooses. 

I would like to say also that many women mix feed or exclusively pump breast milk, which again should be supported. 

My past breastfeeding experience...

Breastfeeding Ella-Grace

My past breastfeeding experience was not positive and really I breastfed Ella-Grace for such a short amount of time I don't even know if I would call it an experience. I have spoken about it before on my blog but I will recap for anyone who does not know. 

From 2 days old Ella-Grace was mixed fed (formula and breast-milk). Before having Ella-Grace I was determined to breastfeed but once she was here despite latching perfectly, misinformation and lack of knowledge were my down fall. Cluster-feeding almost immediately I thought I did not have enough milk (so so wrong) and through my hysteric crying the nurse told me that 'all babies get a cup feed of formula in the first few days' (again wrong but I think she was just trying to help) so that is what we did. On the way home from the hospital convinced I had to mix feed and that I did not have enough breast milk I got my parents to pick up some formula for her. From then on she was mixed fed (having breast milk all day and one bottle at night) I was keen to take her off the formula and just have breastmilk but then Ella-Grace started being very sick when she fed and losing weight. I quickly realised that this was because of the dairy in my diet and that it did not agree with her. We managed to switch to a prescribed dairy free formula that she managed to keep down easily and although I tried to keep up the breastfeeding now no longer having dairy in my diet, that was not enough as the dairy can stay in your breast milk for up to 6 weeks. She would projectile vomit my breast milk but keep down her prescribed formula so to avoid her losing more and more weight we switched. From 8 weeks old Ella-Grace was bottle fed. I feel guilt about this now and wished I could have breastfed her for longer. 

My breastfeeding aims...

Pregnant again and now thinking about how I want to feed my second child. Breastfeeding was what I wanted, as the healthiest option and a healing experience as the first time round it did not go to plan. I wanted the breastfeeding experience I never got with Ella-Grace especially as I knew this would be my last chance as we did not want anymore than two children. I was determined to exclusively breastfeed this time and so I informed myself and set goals. First I wanted to get past 8 weeks (once I had completed that I would be further than I ever got with Ella-Grace), then 3 months, 6 months and finally a year. 1 year was the goal any after that is a huge bonus! Goals were set and now to see if I could meet those goals we just had to wait for our little baby to make her appearance. 

Ready, steady, breastfeed...

She is here!!! Latched on instantly! I was euphoric! A good latch (I had learned through my research on breastfeeding) was key to a good breastfeeding journey and Sunday went from womb to latched on so fast. Step one complete! Things got complicated at this point as I had to go to surgery but after a discussion with the midwives and doctors they were happy for me to take her with me to continue bonding and breastfeeding. This was key to getting us off to a good start to our breastfeeding journey so I fought for it. She was latched onto me the whole time in surgery (an insight into the future right there haha). 

The early days...

Now in recovery it was time to really focus on breastfeeding (I just wanted to clarify here that there was a lot going on with mine and Sunday's complications, recovery etc but for the sake of this post I am just focusing on what happened with breastfeeding). 

Hindsight is a wonderful thing especially when it is accompanied with increased knowledge. This was now my second time attempting to start exclusively breastfeeding and my attitude second time round was so different (even if I was still full of emotion and sleep deprived). First time round I was not informed and I think naively expected breastfeeding to just work out, I mean its the most natural thing right? I quickly learnt that natural did not necessarily mean easy. My lack of knowledge and the misinformation I had received made for a bad start first time round. 
Second time round however I was much more informed and much more confident. I did track how often Sunday fed, how many dirty nappies she was having etc (they give you a little feeding diary in the hospital) but really I just trusted my body and whenever Sunday wanted to nurse, I nursed her. That was my mindset from the get go. Sunday was born on Friday afternoon and clusterfed pretty much straight away, by Saturday evening my colostrum had turned to full milk (everyone's body is different so do not stress if this did not or does not happen for you, the early days babies need very very little).   

Going well...

The first few weeks of Sunday's life were stressful to say the least. In and out of hospital, I was sick and also suffering very mentally, Sunday had an infection, a lot was happening. Breastfeeding however was still going strong and I really think this is what got us both through the tough recovery. Breastfeeding obviously is amazing for both mother and baby's health but also for bonding. My mind was all over the place and so I felt guilty that I was not just enjoying my new baby and being in the new born bubble but thanks to breastfeeding the bond was strong and the smooth start to the journey was a light in a dark situation. 

Slowly we were recovering and breastfeeding continued to go well. I did experience a clogged duct and some nipple pain in the beginning which is not nice but we got past it. The early days/weeks while your body and your baby adjust to breastfeeding can be the most difficult but it certainly does get easier. 

Pumping and expressing...

Quite early on I started to pump/express breast milk. I was not planning on leaving Sunday any time soon I just knew I wanted a stash of breast milk in case I ever did need to leave her and also to give Reece a chance to feed her (which was great if I was in the bath and she needed fed- Reece could grab the bottle of breast milk and feed her). 

As time went on I pumped less (I just don't have the time) and now I just do it if I know I am going to be away from her which is very rare. I also thought pumping would help me keep my supply up but it is not a necessary thing to do for your supply as your baby is the one who will regulate that. 

Reduced milk supply scare...

When Sunday was around 4 months old I got a really bad tummy bug. Thanks to the amazing antibodies in breastmilk, Sunday did not get sick. I however was very sick and could not even keep water down- I noticed by supply slightly decrease and that was so stressful. Luckily I did have some stored breastmilk at this point so Reece managed to give her one bottle of pumped breastmilk but mainly I had her on me as that is the only way to keep your supply up- feed, feed, feed! Once I was better and eating and drinking again my supply went back up. 

Back on track...

Now back on track with my supply back to normal, breastfeeding was once again going well. Around when Sunday was 4 months old I felt my supply had regulated. I was no longer scared I didn't have 'enough milk' nor feeling painfully engorged if Sunday slept for a long time. It has seemed my body now knew how much milk I needed to produce for baby Sunday. Since then there is not much to tell, breastfeeding has become second nature. Some days Sunday is on me non stop and I can have times where I feel overly touched-just being honest- but I know it won't last forever, I will be so sad when she stops breastfeeding and for every 1 time I feel like its too much I love it 1000 times more. I love breastfeeding my baby Sunday, 7 months exclusively breastfeeding now and no stopping in sight. 

My worries and how I dealt with them...

Although I had done a lot of research and listened to other peoples positive experiences with breastfeeding before Sunday was born, I still had my worries. 

1. Is Sunday getting enough milk? 

I think most if not all Mothers have this worry when they start to breastfeed. I think it is because with bottle feeding you can literally see how much they are getting. I felt like this was a constant worry but what always made me feel better was asking myself these questions.. Is she very unsettled? No. Is she getting wet and dirty nappies? Yes. This on top of reminding myself to trust my body and trust my baby, this worry was soon gone. 

2. Leaving her and how it would affect my milk supply

I was petrified of leaving Sunday because I thought that leaving her too soon even just for a few hours would greatly affect milk supply and we would end up formula feeding which is not what I wanted. I planned to not leave her at all until she was at least 6 months old but around when she was 3 months old my sister was turning 30. I had helped plan a night out for her and wasn't going to go but after reassurance from my health visitor I pumped a good amount of breast milk and was went for about 4 hours. It was in the evening and Sunday had been sleeping for about 7 hours straight at this point. Not having a feed for those 7 hours meaning 4 hours away during a time where she would not usually have a feed was fine. Of course breastfeeding is on demand so I left milk for her in a bottle (she had, had a few bottles of breastmilk before just to see if she would take one) and off I went. I had a great time even though I was worried a lot but she slept the whole time. I have now been away from her a hand full of times now and everything has been fine with supply, latch etc. Now that does not mean it would be like that for everyone, this is just my experience. Also keeping in mind the max time I have been away from her is 4 hours and in that time she has either been sleeping, I feed her before I leave and when I get back or if she has a feed while I am out I will make sure to pump when I get home. Leaving a breastfed baby over night, for days or long periods of time I do not have experience in. But a for leaving Sunday for a couple hours I am no longer worried about that. 

(Update on this- Sunday has refused to take a bottle the past two times I have left her- one time was for 2 hours and the other was for 4 hours- she is now eating food so she had food while I was gone and weirdly she was happy to drink my breast milk out of a sippy cup. So yeah as you can see you just have to adapt with your baby. No one experience is the same.) 

3. Clogged milk duct 

I was so scared of getting a clogged milk duct or even worse having mastitis (an infection you can get from a clogged milk duct). Around 2 or 3 months into breastfeeding Sunday I woke up with a very sore right breast. It felt like someone had punched me in the chest and I had a really bad bruise. It looked very red and sore. I phoned my health visitor and she told me to keep feeding Sunday on that side and to massage the area that is sore and that would hopefully fix it. It worked!! I also put a heat pack on it to take away some of the pain while it was sore. That has happened again recently (Sunday is now 7 months old) and I did the same thing and it fixed it again. If you are worried however do not hesitate going to the doctor for advice, I am not medically trained so please speak to a professional. 

Advice for others...

1. Trust your body 

This was the biggest change from the first time I tried breastfeeding to the second and also this was what helped me the most. Trusting my body. First time round I did not believe in my body at all and was convinced I had to teach my body how to breastfeed basically and I had no confidence in myself. This time round determined to breastfeed for at least 12 months I told myself to trust my body and that it knows what to do. Yes I had worries but when it came down to it as long as I was trusting by body I knew that everything would be okay. This meant when baby wanted fed, feed her, the more feeding the more milk supply was built, this was the simple truth and what I kept in mind. This trusting my body also went hand in hand with my next point..trust your baby. 

2. Trust your baby

Women have been breastfeeding since time began; it is the most natural thing in the world. This is why the most important thing when going into breastfeeding is to, like I said, trust your body but also trust your baby. Before the internet, formula etc all there was, was Mum and baby. A baby would be born and without any knowledge Mothers would latch their baby onto their chest and that was that, the trust for baby and body was a necessity. Now although the internet is an amazing invention and like I said, formula has it's place for those who struggle to or do not want to breastfeed, it has also made us doubt ourselves. Many women thinking their body doesn't know how to breastfeed, won't make 'enough milk', their baby won't latch and more before they have even had their baby in their arms; there is no confidence. I cannot stress enough that once that baby is put on your chest and latches on, that is what you need to focus on. Just the two of you. Of course ask for help if you need it and do not stress if baby does not latch instantly but just remember at the end of the day all that is really needed for breastfeeding to work out is to trust the process, trust what as women our bodies are naturally inclined to do and trust that your baby knows this too. Mum and baby, live in that bubble. This helped me so much!!

3. Be informed

Going along with the trusting your body and your baby is this, being informed. This is where the internet can come in handy. When I was pregnant with my first I did no research into breastfeeding and naively believed that because it is natural that it is easy which was so wrong. For some women it may come easy but for other it may be difficult and need to be worked on. Even if it does come easy however being informed about breastfeeding is still a must as there is so much misinformation that can throw you off track or make you worried about breastfeeding when there is no need to be. First time round I listened to a lot of misinformation which really did not get me off to a great start. So read into breastfeeding, follow some breastfeeding mamas on social media, attend a breastfeeding group, talk to a lactation consultant. Please be informed and DO NOT listen to anyone that is telling you that you "won't be able to breastfeed" or any silly myths a long those lines. For example when I was breastfeeding Ella-Grace at 2 days old I was concerned her cluster-feeding was a sign of her not getting enough milk from me and someone very wrongly told me I "had to give her formula because I had no milk", I naively listened but this was of course not true and if I had done my research or spoke to experienced breastfeeding Mothers I would have known that cluster-feeding is NORMAL, babies need only the colostrum in the first few days that you DO have and that it can take days at least for full breast milk to come through. More knowledgeable and informed second time round I was so much more confident and sure of myself and my body. I will leave some links below that I felt helped me prepare for breastfeeding. 

[Helpful breastfeeding links: Breastfeeding NHS 
https://www.laleche.org.uk/get-support/
https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/
NCT Early Days Breastfeeding ]

4. Keep a log

In the hospital likely you will be given a book in which you can log how often baby feeds and how many wet and dirty nappies baby has. This really helped settle any nerves I had. Seeing this information written down made me feel a lot better, I would not stress about how she was doing because I had logged her progress and did not have to try and keep all the information stored in my sleep deprived head. I could relax which again does help with breastfeeding. If anyone is willing to help you whether that be family member or friend, get them to log it for you. It is not for everyone and I did only keep up with it for about a week or two but it really does give you that extra boost in the beginning to see it down on paper especially if you are a control freak like me. 

5. Ask for help (from the right people) 

Lastly, armed with all of the above if you still have worries please do ask for help- from the right people. By the right people I mean please consult a medical professional (doctor, midwife, lactation consultant) or if you do feel more comfortable with a friend make sure it is someone who knows about breastfeeding and supports that breastfeeding is what you want. Because hearing "you have done 3 weeks of breastfeeding that's good enough you can feel good about formula feeding now" from an in experienced or unsupportive person is not the advice you want if you want to continue breastfeeding. Of course if you did choose to change to formula feeding that is your choice but there is nothing worse than wanting to be supported in your decision and although most people will mean well hearing "just switch to formula" is not advice. Get the right advice from the right people, you and your baby deserve to be supported. 

Proud of myself...

Nearing the end of this post now I would like to say how proud I am of my baby girl, Sunday. She had a bit of a rough start in the world but she is a trouper and a big reason why breastfeeding has gone well is basically because she has latched on and never let go since haha she has taught me how to breastfeed in a way. It is team work however and with that I am so so so proud of myself. I was determined to breastfeed this time round and here I am almost 8 months of exclusively breastfeeding beautiful baby Sunday girl. I believed in myself, my baby and I was informed. I ignored negative comments and unhelpful advice. I embraced the breastfeeding mama I was meant to be and although not always easy is has been one of the best experiences of my life, long may it continue. 12 month breastfeeding goal here I come!!!

Thanks for reading...

And that's it... my breastfeeding blog post is finally complete. I hope it was worth the wait and the read for all you wonderful people. I am so happy to have my experience written out for you all. Please remember I am not a medical professional so any problems or queries please consult qualified people. Again all of this was my own experience and I support all my fellow Mothers (and fathers) in their parenting/feeding experience. The world is a much happier place when we all support each other, no good comes from judgement. 

Please remember to follow me on all my social media to see more of my daily life as a vegan, home ed, Mum of two girls. Drop me a message I love to speak to all my readers!

Lastly, to all my fellow Mamas who want to breastfeed or are just starting out YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!! 

Social media : FB - https://www.facebook.com/laurajaneblog20/

Instagram- @laurajanelifex

Stay Happy Everyone :) <3

Third and Final Trimester

And just like that my Second pregnancy is ending...

Hello lovely readers! As I am writing this I am rocking back and forth on a birthing ball trying to get this baby out; that's right I have hit that point of pregnancy where you try all the spicy curries and get as much walking in as you can because the baby has been given their eviction notice. I am kidding of course (well sort of I am eating spicy curries but that's besides the point haha), baby can come when he or she is ready but yeah I am 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant so could be any day now- please let it be any day now! 

But before I pop my second child out I would like to update you all on the final part of my second pregnancy journey and thank you all for following along. Last time you read about my pregnancy I was finishing off my second trimester and now here I am almost finished with the whole process of creating a baby and about to embark on the next chapter of my life as a Mother of two! I am excited and nervous at the same time! 

Entering the 3rd Trimester (Weeks 28 and 29)...

28 weeks pregnant 

Week 28 of this pregnancy is where I left off in the second trimester blog post and is (if I am correct) the first week of the third trimester so let's start there. 

At 28 weeks I was so happy to be in the final trimester, I have really tried to enjoy this pregnancy and not rush it as Reece and I are pretty confident this will be our last child but not going to lie, this pregnancy has been a lot tougher than Ella-Grace's so entering the third and final trimester was a very happy moment. I also try to stay grateful to the fact that I am still pregnant this far a long as I know many women sadly do not which can have devastating outcomes so I know this is a blessing. 

At 28 weeks I had an appointment with my midwife. This appointment was fairly straight-forward. It was at this appointment I received my first anti-D injection, I also had these through out my pregnancy with Ella-Grace. For those who do not know I receive these injections due to my blood type being negative and during pregnancy there is a risk of baby and Mother's blood mixing. If baby blood is positive and mixes with my negative blood there can be negative consequences, so the medication in the injection stops this from happening. They sting quite bad and I always dread getting them (them and any other needles) but not so bad in the grand scheme of things. 

And with that there is not much else to say about week 28, short and sweet. 

At 29 weeks pregnant, everything was going well! Truthfully this week was occupied by a certain little girl turning 2 years old!! We were all on a high and Reece had a week off work, this was probably one of my favourite weeks of pregnancy.. just before things got tough, 

29 weeks pregnant 

Anxiety strikes at 30 weeks...

30 weeks pregnant 

30 weeks down and now only (in theory) 10 weeks to go!! 

Everything was so exciting as we really started to get into the countdown to baby 2's arrival; we were getting everything ready and things were good... then why did I feel so anxious? 

All my life I suffered from anxiety, being diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder when I was 20 years old, I have been through some really bad times! But over the years I have worked hard to find healthy ways to cope with my anxiety and fight my demons but that does not mean they do not show up now and again especially when pregnant hormones are at play. I was suddenly waking up every day with a tight feeling in my chest, as if something terrible could happen at any moment. I would get incredibly stressed when Reece would go to work, I was nervous to take Ella-Grace out, I was feeling down about my appearence, I started to worry I would not connect with the baby and feel guilty about feeling any of this because so many people have it worse. I was so grateful to be pregnant and wanted to enjoy it but my anxiety was making me feel like it was the end of the world! With the help of my sweet daughter, loving husband and using the healthy coping mechanisms I had learned over the years since my bad mental health patch, I pulled through. 

Something positive that did happen during week 30 though that took my mind off my anxiety was Mothers Day. Reece was working on the day of so instead I spent it with my own Mother which in itself was very special and Reece's next day off he took Ella-Grace and I out for a meal. Lovely memories that will last a long time. My next Mothers day I will have two babies and even more to be thankful for. 

Mothers Day

Weeks 31 and 32...

Anxiety still very much there but getting through it. At this point I am conflicted in what I want/need to do; on one hand I want to stay in bed all day and relax especially because I am getting to the point in pregnancy where I am uncomfortable and sore but at the same time I am definitely in the nesting period and feeling the need to clean my entire house 500 times as well as obviously needing to look after Ella-Grace and make the most of  this time where she is still an only child. I have to take one day as it comes, some days I may be staying in bed or chilling on the sofa and other days I will be a super pregnant mum, managing to clean and take Ella-Grace out. The days staying in increased the more pregnant I became especially in the upcoming weeks. 

S*** gets real (33-35 weeks)... 

33 weeks pregnant 

Three words: PELVIC GRIDDLE PAIN!! 

Thank goodness I did not experience this in Ella-Grace's pregnancy, it is so painful and makes it difficult to stand, walk, or do anything really. I would be trying to cook supper or walk to the park with Ella-Grace and I would get a crippling pain in my pelvic area and have no choice but to sink to the ground! It started about 33 weeks pregnant and continued to get worse from that point.   This pain did not only cause me physical pain but emotionally it made me upset as I felt as if I could not look after Ella-Grace properly and it made me so sad when she would see me collapse to the ground and ask me "Are you okay Mummy?" My two year old shouldn't be worrying about me bless her. I felt like a terrible Mother, skipping her groups because I could not walk to take her there and not being able to run around with her. Of course I know this is untrue but the mum guilt always creeps in no matter how much you try to keep it out, no matter how irrational (my fellow mothers will know what I mean). This was by far the worst pregnancy symptom I experienced in my second pregnancy.

As well as this pain, other symptoms I was experiencing included nausea, sickness, diarrhea, back pain, migraines and painful baby kicks. All this would then keep me up at night leading to sleep deprivation. 

The last 4 weeks, the toughest yet...

36 weeks pregnant 

37 week scan 

38 weeks pregnant 

Just when you think you cannot get any bigger- you do, just when you think you could not possibly be in anymore pain- more pain hits and the closer you get to the end of the pregnancy the slower the days get! Do not get me wrong I know that being pregnant is a blessing and many people struggle to get conceive/carry, I am very thankful and would not change it for the world but that does not mean that there are no hardships through pregnancy. I think that is what makes the end result so amazing; just what your body goes through as a women to create a life is miraculous.. as well as uncomfortable and painful. The pelvic gridle pain at this point is what is worst and I have been offered crutches by the midwife but crutches with a toddler? Yeah I don't think that is going to work. WIth the help of Reece and crawling around my house instead of walking when the pain gets too much I am sure I can make it to when baby wants to arrive- sounds like I am being over dramatic but literally I spend so much of the time on the floor it is unreal. I have fell down in public due to these pains. BUT I can do this one. last. time. 

These last few weeks everything is just getting more and more intense and all the negative symptoms have peaked. My patience is also wearing thin and I am getting nervous that I may have to be induced which I really do not want as you will see in the birth plan. I am not going to lie there have been many tears.

On a happier note however I have had the last scan which was wonderful and thankfully baby moved from breech position to head down, also baby 2 was measuring great and my wonderful friends and family planned me a cute surprise baby shower (pictures below) which was lovely. So eager to meet my second little one and so excited (as selfish as it sounds) to not be pregnant anymore, it has been a rough 9 months but I will say it again, so so worth it! 

Birth plan...

Before I tell you what I hope for birth second time round I better summarise what my birth was like with Ella-Grace. With Ella-Grace I very much wanted a natural birth, a water birth if possible. I was planning on using only gas and air and no other pain relief/intervention. 40 weeks came and went however and I booked my induction for 41 weeks pregnant and with Ella-Grace being 1 in 5 of having down syndrome they were in more of a rush to get her out. I got to the hospital to be induced, Ella-Grace's heart rate was up and down the entire induction process (took a total of 48 hours from start to finish) and even though I gave it my best shot, being in active labor for 10 hours on only gas and air, dilating to 6/7cm, in the end because of Ella-Grace's unstable heart rate I was rushed for an emergency c-section. The opposite to the natural birth that had hoped for. Thankfully Ella-Grace was perfectly healthy (her heart rate dropping was due to her cord being wrapped round her neck and legs) and in fact the c-section saved her life so I would never of done anything differently but it did leave me longing to experience a vaginal birth as I always have. So when I was planning the birth for my second pregnancy this was the first thing that came to mind. 

My birth plan in short is: 

• VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-Section) 
• As natural as possible- want to avoid induction, intervention, drugs etc. 
• (I would have a home birth if I could but with having a previous section I would feel safer in a hospital) 
• Water birth if possible
• No unneccesary IV's 
• I want to be as mobile as possible

Although this is my birth plan I know from my first birth that they almost never go to plan; pregnancies and babies are unpredictable. So all that I really hope for is to avoid another section and experience a vaginal birth and of course another healthy baby is the most important thing. 

Goodbye for now and thanks for reading...

I am now writing this last paragrah no longer pregnant! I did not quite get this post finished and posted in time but hey ho that is just what happens, life happens. I am so looking forward to posting this and then following it up wih baby 2's birth story. 

I hope you all enjoyed reading all about my second pregnancy, I appreciate everyone's support on this journey to being a Mum of two and look forward to sharing the next chapter of my life with all my lovely readers. Over Two years of my blog now and I have so many lovely memories documented here, it's amazing. 

My final thoughts on this pregnancy is it was A LOT harder than my pregnancy with Ella-Grace but so worth it. There is nothing like growing a life inside you, it is truly magical and although I am fairly certain I do not wish to be pregnant again, I am more than grateful that I have managed to carry two gorgeous children to term. I am truly blessed. 

Until next time my lovely readers, thanks for reading. 

Second Trimester

Second Trimester over already...

What?! How am I now in the third trimester! As I am writing this I am 34 weeks pregnant, just 6 weeks to go until baby 2 is here (roughly anyway, it is 6 weeks till my due date who knows if baby will arrive on time, early or late). When I was pregnant with Ella-Grace it felt like I was pregnant forever but this time round it has just flown past. I am so ready to have baby 2 with us, it is so exciting but at the same time I am really trying to enjoy the last part of pregnancy because I do not plan on doing this again. 

In this post I will be talking all things second trimester (weeks 13-28 of pregnancy). From feeling better, then worse to going on a little baby moon and an unfortunate hospital visit (not to worry it all turned out okay) everything will be explained in this post. 

13 week scan and saying no to Down syndrome test...

So, kicking off this post with my 13 week scan. This was supposed to be my first scan/booking scan but if you read the previous post about my first trimester of my second pregnancy you will know I had an emergency scan at 11 weeks. That scan turned out fine thankfully and so this was my second scan. Having the scan at 11 weeks I was not nervous for the 13 week scan, I was just very excited. I went with Reece and Ella-Grace (the hospital said it would be better to get a baby sitter for her when we went to the scan but our friend ended up being sick so we ended up taking her last minute, they were very understanding however). 

The scan went perfect! Baby was growing as expected, the placenta and cord were fine and my due date did seem to be correct. I did have to do a little wriggle to get the baby in the right position for the sonographer but everything, like I said, was fine. 

Something I should mention is that Reece and I decided against testing for down syndrome. This test involves a blood test and the sonographer measuring the fluid under the baby's neck (nuchal translucsancy) on the scan. Although they do still measure this if you decide not to test for down syndrome they do not tell you what the measurement is and they do not put on your medical records anything about the measurement or test, it is just routine. 

The reason we decided not to have the down syndrome test this time around was because when we got it done during Ella-Grace's pregnancy for us it did more harm than good. This is just personal preference, we are not telling anyone else how to handle this situation or what tests to get, we just felt for us second time round this would be better for us. 

As some of you may know, Ella-Grace was 1 in 5 of having down syndrome. Her nuchal translucancy measuring too big at the first scan and the blood test came back with her being 1 in 5. From this we had no further testing 1. because we knew if she had down syndrome that would not change the way we feel about her and 2. The tests were invasive meaning they did hold a slight risk to the baby and even possibly losing the baby which we did not want to risk. Through out Ella-Grace's pregnancy the 1 in 5 of down syndrome statistic came up a lot and I was even asked early on if I wanted to terminate the pregnancy (again this personally was something we were not comfortable with and never even crossed our minds). Although the pregnancy was straight forward pretty much we were constantly reminded about this 1 in 5 risk and it made bringing Ella-Grace into the world a bit more stressful than we wanted. One of the first things that a midwife said when Ella-Grace was born was 'she doesn't look like she has down syndrome by the way' which I understand is what she may thought we wanted to know but in that moment all I wanted was to feel happy and have congratulations, I felt there was plenty time to talk about that considering she was healthy when she was born. Anyway so this time round we knew that the result of a downs syndrome test would not sway our decision to continue with the pregnancy, we would once again deny invasive testing and we wanted to avoid the stress and so we said no this time round and do not regret it. If you want to know more about my first pregnancy you can go back and read those blog posts. 

So yes that was (officially) my first scan, a lot more stress free than my first pregnancy and it was a very special family moment. 

Week 14, sickness subsiding...

FINALLY! After being very sick in my first trimester, definitely more so than I was in Ella-Grace's pregnancy, I was finally starting to feel better. No more sickness tablets and now gaining back the weight I had lost. Food aversions were subsiding too and I was managing to eat full meals. Thank goodness because we were now on the run up to Christmas. Getting my appetite back, starting to get cravings and feeling all round more energetic. 

Cravings and Christmas...

Ella-Grace's second Christmas, mine and Reece's 7th together (first as a married couple) and our last as a family of three; it was the best Christmas yet!

Ella-Grace got loads of presents from our loving families, my Dad made a very yummy Christmas dinner (vegan for us of course). We stayed at my parents from Christmas till New Year and it was such a lovely time, always my favourite time of year. 

While we were there I also experienced some of my first strong pregnancy cravings, some of which were quite strange. For example I was craving pickles, ice cream and mustard? Not together but I would eat them relatively close together. In my Mum's words 'your clearly pregnant' haha. I am so glad my morning sickness subsided in time for Christmas and it is fair to say that I made up for all the food I didn't eat in the first trimester over Christmas- I ate so much! 

New Year, our second child will be born this year...

Like I said we spent New Year at my parents house and on New Years eve I turned 18 weeks pregnant- almost half way through my second (and most likely last) pregnancy. 2019 was here, the year our second child would be born! Things were getting even more real and more exciting! 

20 weeks pregnant = half way...

As tough as the first trimester was it really went in a flash! I could not believe I was 20 weeks, half way through my second pregnancy already. At this time one of my best friends was coming to the end of her pregnancy with her first baby (picture above is me all dressed up for her baby shower) and so there was lots to celebrate. 

20 week scan...

For my 20 week scan my Mum came with myself and Reece. My mum played a big part in my first pregnancy and accompanied me to many scans (for those who don't know Ella-Grace's middle name is Angela, which is my Mum's name) and so it was important to both of us that she get to be involved just as much in this pregnancy. And so, this was a lovely moment that she got to come to a scan for the first time this pregnancy and not just any scan but the 20 week anatomy scan! 

This pregnancy has differed in so many ways to my first pregnancy, one of them being the amount of appointments/scans I have had. With Ella-Grace they found a hole in her heart when I was 19 weeks pregnant and so I was getting scanned by a Dr every other week to check if it was a heart problem or if that part of her heart was just taking a little longer to develop; luckily we had the positive outcome and Ella-Grace was fine. This made me slightly more nervous for this scan in case this baby also had a hole in their heart but there was no such hole, everything was developing as should and so we were sent on our way with another scan not until April (at this point we were in January!). So strange not having more scans when I had so many with Ella-Grace but relieving that this pregnancy is going well so baby doesn't need checked on as often. 

Such a lovely experience and it was so lovely to see our little baby for the third time! 

More cravings...

Of course most women get a lot of cravings when they are pregnant, for me it was more I wanted to eat the same meals ALL the time. This is not like me usually, I like to make something different every meal, every day, give myself and Ella-Grace (and Reece of course but a lot of the time he is at work) variety in our diets but for a while I could only cook/would only want to cook the same meals. These were either baked potato and salad or pasta with green pesto and sun-dried tomatoes- don't forget the sundried tomatoes! Reece was not happy with the fortune I was spending on sundried tomatoes hahaha. I was also craving fizzy sweets for a snack- which is so weird for me because when I am not pregnant I do not have a sweet tooth at all but apparently when it comes to pregnancy, both this time and last time, I love sour sweets! These can be hard to come by vegan but our local shop had a big pack of fizzy sour dinosaurs on offer and they were vegan- these I could not get enough of! 

While on the topic of cravings I often get asked if I ever crave anything non-vegan and if I did would I indulge in it? My honest answer is no I don't, for example if I crave a burger I will crave a bean burger. If I was to crave something non-vegan I would definitely not have it for both moral and health reasons that most of you will know from my other blog posts/instagram. I would find a vegan alternative to solve that craving. 

Bump popped at 21 weeks...

At the start of pregnancy you obviously don't have a bump so I expected that but everyone told me you get a bump sooner second time around. I got to 16/17 weeks however I didn't think I looked that different apart from my post-partum mum tum and a bit of bloating. 21 weeks is when my bump clearly popped. It was really interesting because when I was pregnant with Ella-Grace I had a bump at 16/17 weeks and although this time I did get a bump at this time too as I mentioned I felt like it still looked more like a 'mum tum' until I got further on, not that there is anything wrong with a stretchy mummy tummy (I love mine) it is just interesting how a woman's body looks different with each pregnancy. As you can see in the picture above 21 weeks was definitely when I popped and bump was most certainly there for everyone to see, making it all that bit more real if it wasn't already!

Feeling faint followed by food poisoning...

The first trimester sickness may have passed but as February rolled around, just as I was celebrating my Dad's 60th birthday, sickness came back with a vengeance. 

Firstly, around this time (22/23 weeks pregnant) I had started feeling very dizzy and if I got up to quickly I would feel as if I was going to faint. This was then followed by severe stomach cramps and sickness! Not food aversion sick or anything to do with pregnancy actually but more like a sickness bug which was just my worst nightmare. With no idea what it was I consulted the doctor who tested for a few things and it turned out I had food poisoning! I was prescribed anti-biotics and my symptoms improved quickly! I am just glad baby was not affected! Gutted I couldn't stomach much of the yummy food at my Dad's 60th though haha. 

Baby name dilemma...

This will most likely be brought up in each pregnancy update until baby is here because this is one dilemma that I do not think will be solved until baby 2 is in my arms! That dilemma is baby names! 

As I explained in an Instagram post, we had Ella-Grace's name picked out before she was born. Pretty much as soon as we found out she was a girl we picked her name and that was that. This time round we decided not to find out the sex of the baby (not that I think this matters because no names really belong to a specific sex, this is just what society has convinced us) and we also decided not to officially name the baby until he or she makes their appearance. We did however want a few names we liked picked out, this has been a challenge to say the least! I like VERY unique names (such as Journey, Bravery, Lavender, Wednesday) and Reece is more mainstream (Bethany, Cody, Joey), so finding names we both love is hard! One minute we will have a few we both like and the next minute we will both change our minds and hate them all! Perhaps baby 2 will be called just that.. baby 2... or one of us will have to cave! Only time will tell... 

Kicks getting strong...

By 24 weeks pregnant I had been able to feel baby for a long time, since about 16 weeks, but it was now that others could really feel him or her move! Reece was feeling kicks frequently and even Ella-Grace managed to feel one or two when she kept her hand on my belly long enough (although I don't think she really knew what it was, but she would say 'baby kick!'). 

All very exciting and a lovely bonding experience for the three of us and bump, connecting as a family of four already! 

My mum and sisters also felt the baby kick a few times which was nice. If only they stayed pleasant little kicks, soon enough they began to be painful which I never experienced with Ella-Grace. Either this baby is stronger or my muscles are just ruined from last pregnancy, who knows? Worth it for my beautiful second child. 

Ella-Grace understanding more...

The further a long in this pregnancy I have gotten, the more Ella-Grace has started to understand what is going on.. as much as a 2 year old can anyway. She loves to hug my bump, kiss my bump, sing and talk to bump and ask me all about the 'baby' in my tummy. It is so sweet! 

Through this and her understanding on what a baby is she has become very interested in playing with her baby dolls, looking after her little friends like babies and reading books about being a big sister. This is so sweet to see and although I am sure she will have her jealous moments when baby is here I do think she will thrive as a big sister and take on a caring role (or at least try to). So yeah, baby 2 even if your big sister annoys you she does love you so much! Even before you entered the world. 

Pelvic pain and more...

I am so grateful to be pregnant again and to be able to carry a healthy child but that does not make it easy and the further a long in this pregnancy I get the more I realise that (symptoms wise) I had it pretty easy in the first pregnancy. As I neared the end of the second trimester some not so fun things kicked into gear including pelvic pain, insomnia and braxton hicks contractions which don't hurt but they are very uncomfortable. Unlike when I had these with Ella-Grace, this time round it has felt that whenever I do anything that involves moving I get a braxton hix contraction. My midwife has suggested that perhaps I have an irritable uterus and to take it easy but when you have a toddler at home that is just not possible sometimes. So these symptoms were not so fun and they have only kicked up from there but I am getting a head of myself. 

Baby moon...

Now to stop the moaning and talk about something fun. Reece and I went on a little baby moon! Our two close friends got engaged and so with our other two friends we travelled down to Edinburgh for one night (my Mum took Ella-Grace for a sleep over) and celebrated. This was the first time I had left Ella-Grace since the honeymoon (that was extremely hard for me and I think made my separation anxiety worse) so I was very nervous but she had a great time with my Mum and it was nice for Reece and I to get dressed up and have some time to ourselves and with our friends before baby 2 arrives and we never get peace again hahaha. We also got a cute photo out of it so that's nice. 

Low fetal movements and fast heart rate...

Unfortunately when we arrived back in Aberdeen after our short trip to Edinburgh I barely got to see Ella-Grace for an hour before I was told to go up to the hospital due to baby having reduced movements. I was just about 27 weeks at this point, entering the third trimester with a hospital trip, not ideal. Once I got to the hospital baby started moving again thankfully (midwife said the travelling may have thrown baby off) but the heart rate was high so I was kept for an hour for monitoring. Heart rate was still on the higher side but not to the point where it was worrying so I was let away home. A scary experience but on the up side my close friend had given birth to her first little one less than 24 hours before this and I got to go up and hold her sweet baby and congratulate my friend. Good ending to a stressful experience. Made me all the more excited to have baby 2 here too. 

Weeks 27-28...

And so that brings us to the last week of my second trimester which was pretty uneventful. So all I have to share is a bump pic. This trimester was by far the easiest of all three (which is usually the case) although it did come with it's challenges. 

Third trimester post coming soon ...

And so that was my second trimester. I am now well into my third trimester and have so much to tell but you will all have to wait another week or two for that update and then before I know it I will be writing my birth story! Although these last few weeks feel like they are dragging, this pregnancy has seemed to go by in a flash! 

Thank you for reading...

As always thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed hearing all about my second trimester. Please feel free to comment below any experiences you are having or have had with your pregnancies, are they similar to mine? Lets start a conversation. Hope to update you all again soon on the rest of my pregnancy as well as posts on how Ella-Grace is doing and more. So much to write but this pregnant mama also needs her rest so please bare with me. Thank you all again for following my blog and I will speak to you all soon. 

Stay Happy Everyone! :)