Another Charity Headshave: What prompt me to do this again and more about my charity work

So glad to be back...

Hi everyone! I am so happy to be sharing another post with you all finally. It has been far too long and I appreciate everyone's patience. I have had a lot going on (all will be explained in blog posts to come) but now I am back and hoping to post at least once every two weeks, once a week if I can manage. I have so much I want to share with all my readers from mental health and vegan recipes to toddler life and mummy posts, all will come soon and I cannot wait to receive some feedback from all of you. Thank you again for the continued support despite my lack of posting and for all the post ideas I have been sent, they are all jotted down in my notebook I promise and hopefully I will get round to typing up every one of those ideas into a post. LauraJaneLife blog is back and I am so happy about it! So let's just jump straight into today's topic... my newly shaved head! 

Previous Charity work and why I think it is important to give back...

I have done some charity work in the past and want to do so much more in the future! Since a young age my aim in life has always been to help people and make the world a better place. Sounds cheesy I know, a cliche that you hear people say all the time but that is the honest truth. I found it difficult to choose in what way I wanted to help people/change the world, I have been through many job possibilities in my head; mental health nurse, midwife, prime minister, M.P., author, psychologist, working in the criminal justice system, army nurse, police officer.. the list goes on. All these jobs I still think would be amazing to do and who knows maybe in the future I will pursue one of them (fun fact- I did get into university for Mental Health nursing and also a course that would of helped me to become a certified counsellor but it did not feel right for me at the time so I did not accept, but who knows maybe I could go back to this in the future). I could never decide what exactly I wanted to do career wise, I did know I wanted to help others however and that has driven me throughout my life. This being the reason any job I have ever had has been caring based- a children's party host, a nursery support worker, a learning disabilities care worker, elderly carer- I just want to help out and make a difference. Being a Mother was also something I always wanted to do and I would say is one of the biggest ways to change the world and impact the future because you are literally raising the next generation. Through being pregnant I also then re-discovered my childhood passion of writing leading to the moderate success of my blog, being employed as a writer for two online parenting websites and the starts of a self-published book (still a LONG way to go with that one). In all these ways I have become more passionate about making the world a better place and impacting the world positively with my time here. I am so grateful to of touched so many people with my writing, making people feel not alone when it comes to things such as mental health or motherhood. Receiving messages saying that I have made people feel accepted with my open-minded attitude or that I have made them re-think their lifestyle habits through my animal rights and environmental posts. It may be a small impact but an impact none the less and I hope to continue this. So yes through my life so far I have tried my best to find ways to help others and other than career paths there is charity work, here are some of the things I have done previously. 

-Donated to Foodbank every month
-Bought food for the homeless

-Coffee mornings for macmillan cancer support 

-Headshave for macmillan cancer support 

-Volunteering for Childline

- Fundraising for Rosie's Cafe (Mental Health Charity) 

The first headshave...

The first time I shaved my head, as I said, was for Macmillan Cancer Support. It was around 3 years ago I did it and raised £300. Still to this day I get letters (telling me of what work they are doing/have done with the money I raised) and little rewards you could say from Macmillan (such as Christmas cards, tags for presents, postcards etc) which I think is really sweet. I originally wanted to shave my head because around this time my hair was SO damaged from the amount of dying I had put it through in a very short amount of time, but then I began to think that instead of just shaving it I could shave it for a cause which as I have explained is something I am very passionate about. So I went for it, here is a picture from that first head shave. (Side note: I did not donate my hair because of the damage and the length was too short). 

Second headshave and why...

People- including family and friends- thought I was crazy to do this again! Why would you shave your head after growing it all back? Well the answer is simple.. because I can. It is just hair at the end of the day and if I can help a very worthy cause just by shaving my head then why wouldn't I? For me there was no answer to this question and thus I shaved my head. There were of course other reasons apart from 'just because I can'. I was always planning on doing this again, I just wasn't sure when or what charity to do it for and then I heard that the wonderful Willows Animal Sanctuary were really struggling with donations and were not sure if they could continue to look after their animals through the winter months and this gave me that final push to set up the just giving page. As you readers will know since I had my daughter I became vegan and through this I have found a whole new love and respect for animals so this cause was close to my heart. I also think Willows is so one of a kind to be a sanctuary that saves animals not only from abuse and neglect but from slaughter! In Aberdeen/Aberdeenshire anyways I don't think there is any other place like this that does not profit from the animals or exploit them but simply care for them, save them and try to spread the message that choosing a plant-based lifestyle is best for your health, environment and of course, the animals. I honestly adore this place and could not sit by and let such a wonderful place close. I want to take my daughter and any other children we may have to visit here a lot in the future to teach them all the values Willows upholds so they can use them through their life. So as I have said anything I could do to help I was most definitely going to do that! Aside from this I have noticed, as a woman, a lot of your beauty is defined by hair? If I was a man shaving my head it would be no big deal but as a woman, your crazy?! I have been called brave for shaving my head 'as a woman', I have been called of course 'crazy!' and one man said to me recently "why would you do that to yourself, your a woman?" and when I replied saying it was for charity it was then "That's okay then because it was for charity". I am not saying people who think this way are bad of course not, our society conditions us to think in these gender stereotypes but I would like to be an individual that challenges these and opens the minds of others who may think a woman's beauty is based upon her hair or looks alone. Not going to lie, last time I shaved my head I hid it all the time under wigs to make myself more 'feminine', this was 3 years ago when I was a lot more self-conscious although looking back I did not need to be, no one does. Where as this time around- I don't know if its the fact I am a Mother now and do not have the time to put a wig on every day, that I am a lot more chilled about looks as it is not important in my eyes or both but I am rocking this shaved head look and loving it. Embracing the funny looks I get in the street as compliments or at least I stand out? Mainly I want to be a role model to Ella-Grace in all aspects of life and show her that her beauty does not depend on her hair or her looks, it does not matter what anyone else thinks and that as long as you are confident yourself that is what matters. I cannot stress enough to anyone reading this that at the end of the day looks do not matter! Yes of course people like to look there best or get dolled up for special occasions but that does not make you beautiful or not. I put on make up not because I think I need it but because I enjoy it and I like the way it looks that does not mean I look worse without it or I am not beautiful, because I am and everyone is. Once you live in this mindset you feel so much happier and free and make others feel the same because you are not judging anyone on looks. So yes, sorry for the word vomit, I was very confident in my choice to shave my head for Willows and 'beauty' never crossed my mind nor did bravery for that matter. I did not and do not consider myself as brave for shaving my head although many have said I was, bravery is people saving lives, bravery is people fighting for their lives, I just don't see this as brave although I do appreciate the supportive messages and comments from people who do think that. I just saw this as me doing a good deed for a good cause and I have a new hair style at the end of it. That's all. In the end I raised £210 for Willows Animal Sanctuary. 

How I pick what charities I fundraise for...

I by no means am the fundraising or charity work champion, far from it in fact I wish I had the time and money to do more for good causes and organise more events. I have always said I would love to run a marathon or organise a charity ball, hopefully this will be in the future at some point. Any ways I may not be the fundraising champ but I do have specific charities that in the future I do plan to help and these are for many reasons. Someone messaged me and asked me to go through the charities/causes I think are important and I personally would want to raise money/awareness for. This list could be a blog post in itself so here I will put my top 3 at the moment. 

Mental Health Charities 

As many of you know I have struggled with mental illness through most of my life, still do now and always will. Anxiety, panic attacks and self harm are all subjects that I have personal experience in and really touch my heart. I do think these things are still very stigmatised which is very wrong. When I was going through my darkest times all I wanted was help and for someone to tell me that what I was feeling will pass and there is help. Unfortunately so many people of all ages do not get this support and often get met with negative responses when they try to open up, sometimes even bullying. On many occasions unfortunately people struggling mentally feel their is no way out and take their lives because of this. I have been in that dark place where you feel so alone and that no one can help you and now being in a totally different mindset yet having that empathy for others who have experienced mental illness/ are experiencing, I would love to help. Charities I have strongly considered volunteering/fundraising for have been Samaritains, Mind, SAMH and many more. I have previously contacted Samaritans but unfortunately the timing just was not right and I was not able to volunteer but it is still something I am very open to in the future. Mental health is just as important as Physical health, I am a firm believer of this FACT.

Rape and Sexual Assault Victims 

I don't really know where to start when talking about this topic. I have written in the past that I myself have experienced sexual assault and sadly many of my friends have been victim to sexual assault and/or rape. In fact pretty much every woman I know has an experience of some sort of injustice that has been done to them when it comes to sexual harassment, assault, attempted rape or rape, it is a very sad fact that to this day it is a very scary place for women and I feel very strongly that something needs to be done about this. From improvements in the criminal justice system to changes in society's attitude (for example victim blaming is such a big problem), there are many things in my opinion that can be done to support these victims and potentially stop other assaults occurring. No one asks to be raped. Of course this is not just a female problem, there are many men that are also a victim to sexual assault and rape, I am in full support of them also when I say I wish to help these victims and survivors. Although I do think that women are more at risk of this, men and women a like should not be treated any differently when it comes to support after a sexual assault or rape, all cases should be taken seriously. I hope that all made sense, I get a bit overwhelmed when talking about something I am passionate about. 

So, having some horrid experiences myself and knowing many people who have, not to mention seeing first hand victim blaming (for example I know someone who got raped walking home, by two men and many around her said 'Well she shouldn't of been walking home alone?' NO the men should not have raped her!). All of this makes me very passionate about helping rape and sexual assault survivors and even more so since I have had my little girl. I am already teaching her about consent when it comes to giving hugs, she does not have to hug anyone if she does not want to nor can she make someone hug her. These little steps I think are very important. I would love to volunteer for rape and sexual assault support groups, help fundraise for charities that support such survivors and maybe, if the opportunity came up, I would love to speak to schools about consent because that I think is a very blurred subject and it is time those lines were made clear especially for young adults. This is truly one of the most horrific things that could happen to you and more often than not unfortunately, people get away with their actions or incidents go unreported out of fear or shame, this NEEDS to change and I want to be a part of that change. I could go on and on about this but just as an end note I would like to say if anyone needs to talk about a situation they are going through regarding sexual assault or rape I would be more than happy to speak to anyone, also if anyone knows of any volunteering, fundraising, awareness raising or school speaking opportunities in this area I would love to know about them. 

Animal Rights Charities 

Going to keep this one short just because I have spoke about it already in this post and A LOT in other posts. Obviously I am very passionate about animals and helping them in any way I can. Humans are so destructive and animals are the opposite, what is sad is that they really don't have a voice. If they did maybe as human beings we would not do the evil things that we do to them. This lack of voice that the animals of this world have makes me feel that I need to be that voice. I need to speak up about the cruelty of farming, how we are ruining their homes, vile hunting, animal testing, exploitation of animals for entertainment, the list really does go on and on and the sad thing is that many people don't even know these things are cruel and willingly take part. That makes me so sad but also grateful that my eyes have been opened to what is really happening behind the scenes to the beautiful creatures of this planet. For some reason what I have just said will be deemed 'controversial' to some but it is the honest truth and with out change animals will continue to suffer, go extinct and our environment as well as theirs will deteriorate, fast! Again, I could go on and on! I hope to do more fundraising for Willows animal sanctuary and other charities that benefit the animals. I plan to purchase some Go Vegan Scotland merchandise  for myself and Ella-Grace this Christmas and I am very excited about that and the cause my money will go towards. 

Summary and Thank you for reading...

In conclusion (haven't wrote that since I was writing English or Philosophy essays in school haha), I am very passionate about charity work and living my life to change the lives of others and the world around us in positive ways. There are specific areas that I gravitate towards helping but really there are endless lists of worthy causes and amazing charities I am sure people could fundraise for, donate to, volunteer etc. I am proud of what I have done this year and in the future hope to do much more as I have said. I want Ella-Grace to grow up seeing her Mummy helping others and hopefully she will be proud or even better want to get involved with me. 
That is the end of this weeks post, thank you so much for reading! Sorry if the post is a bit all over the place it has been a while and I have had to type this out quite fast in the short space of time I have while Reece baths Ella-Grace (that's the life of a work from home mum). As always however I wrote from the heart, I wrote this post honestly and although it may  be all over the place and I am sure full of spelling and grammar errors, it is me and I like to think of my blog as an online diary and you are all here reading my inner thoughts. Quite a scary thing to share with the world but I feel it has a place here and may influence others positively. Rambling on again, seriously need someone to stop me haha. Thanks again for reading. Till the next post- I have many more unfiltered posts to come from motherhood to mental health, I have a lot to talk about! And as I always end my posts...

Stay Happy Everyone! :)

Anxiety struck again.

Those of you who have read my blog for a while will know that I struggle with anxiety and panic disorder (if you want to read my previous posts on this then feel free- Recovery is possible  /  Anxiety Update ). Most of the time I can deal with it just fine even to the point where my panic attacks are non-existent, but then there are times like the past two weeks where I could literally tear my hair out (and I have before- sounds drastic but that is how bad it used to get, feels like something is in your head that you just want to get out, it is truly horrid). I hide it well, not even purposely it is just an automatic reaction when I am around people. I don't know whether that is because I feel better when I am around friends because I can't overthink or if it is because I don't have time to think too much about things, that is why I think having Ella-Grace changed my anxiety for the better because as a mother you are so focused on your baby you cannot crawl into bed and cry for hours, you have a little life depending on you and that pushes you out of a slump, well that is how it is for me anyways. What I am trying to say is these past two weeks have been hard anxiety wise and panic attacks have been happening often. I know many of you who read my blog really love my honesty especially when it comes to my mental health and these are the posts you want to read which is great for me because it means I can vent which always helps. I am finally feeling like this dip is over- thank goodness- so I am able to share it and hopefully this will get me back into my regular blog posts because I have truly missed they joy I get out of it and all the feedback from you kind readers. First things, first.. where do I start? Well things always go down hill for me when I fall out of routine and that is exactly what happened.

I think I mentioned in my last post that Ella-Grace and I had been suffering from the flu, well that just threw us totally off. All better now but the routine was pretty much gone and although she is still a good sleeper once she gets to sleep settling her has been a difficult task. Gone are the days where we place her in her bed and she soothes herself. I'm not sure if it is a bit of separation anxiety or if like me she is just getting used to the routine again now she isn't ill, but Reece and I have been met with some serious screaming cries just as we enter her room to put her down. It can take up to an hour to get her down (rubbing her back, holding her hand, singing to her) and of course Ella-Grace is my main priority and I would sit and rub her back for 5 hours if that is what she needed (I do try and let her soothe herself but when she screams that way it is just going to make her stressed which I don't want) but doesn't mean it is easy on me especially when Reece is at work. You see from when she was born her cry (I mean her serious cry not a whimper) has been a trigger for my anxiety, my body goes all tense and I feel the sense of 'impending doom' that I associate with my panic attacks. Usually as I said I can manage it fine because she is very chilled out and seriously rarely ever cries but these past two weeks it is like she has changed to be very clingy and hard to settle which means that she has been crying for things she has never cried for before- for example putting her down to play while I cook supper. I know there are some parents who's child has always been clingy and you are probably thinking I am over exaggerating or being ungrateful for how "easy" I have had it but I am not trying to take away from what you have been through this is my mothering experience and how it is going for me, there are ups and downs for everyone they are just not always the same. Anyways so yes that was the first sign of my anxiety getting bad again, Ella-Grace's cry was really grating on me and I found myself getting frustrated with her even though of course it was not her fault which made me feel even worse as the mum guilt set in. With Ella-Grace being extra clingy as I said that meant our routine was completely off, the cleaning wasn't getting done, I had no time to write, just everything was a mess. To some people it may not seem like a big deal, I wish I was one of those people but ever since my anxiety was at its lowest I have slowly but surely found the best way to deal with it and that is by sticking to a routine, knowing what needs to be done at what time of day, no surprises or big changes that I don't expect, everything is planned to a T. I know what days Ella-Grace has certain groups, I know what time we get up, what time she goes down, the times I clean, the time I cook meals, the time I have to bath and get ready, the days Ella-Grace needs a bath, the days Reece is at work, the time he gets home from work, the time I write, what I need to write, what to post on my social media to promote my blog, the list goes on and to some people this would sound crazy, how can you plan all that every week? Why not go with the flow? Because I can't. If I do that then I just breakdown. So sorry if you message me for a last minute plan, I am most likely busy because I plan things far in advance. So even though we were all better, the routine was all a mess and that in my head means I am failing. Failing as a mother, failing as a fiance, failing as a blogger, failing as a person and that is when I hit rock bottom. So many people say to me "you seem to have it all together" and I smile and say "yeah I love routine" which although true it does not mean it is easy and as soon as that routine slips the smallest bit, as soon as I am late to a group or forget to brush Ella-Grace's teeth, I breakdown and my anxiety forces me to brand myself the worst person alive. At this point, cue the panic attacks.
Panic attacks, as I have said before, are the worst. In fact I have been sitting here for half an hour trying to write this next paragraph and getting panicky because I don't feel like what I am writing is making any sense because anxiety doesn't make sense, it is irrational and scary and just overwhelming. Honestly writing this is giving me stress because I don't feel like I am doing a good job in explaining anything and I really want to help those who are going through the same thing but I just feel like I am rambling. Ugh. I am sorry. 
Anyway, I am going to try and power through. The past two weeks with Ella-Grace being fussier than usual and my routine being non-existent my anxiety has been on the edge on top of that planning a first birthday party and a wedding all at the same time just took its tole and I found myself many nights just crying and feeling so low. Which is frustrating because its a happy time, this year is full of events that I will be sure to remember for the rest of my life and I want to enjoy them, planning and all, I don't want to be feeling low when I could be enjoying my daughter playing or writing blog posts or wedding planning with Reece. These are all fun things but during these past two weeks all of it just seemed stressful and to be honest I felt like I was a burden on everyone. The worst it got was Reece came home, Ella-Grace wasn't settling, supper wasn't made, the flat was a mess, I hadn't showered in days, I had snapped at Reece on the phone because I was stressed and I just felt so alone, I couldn't breathe. Panic set in. Reece (being the lovely man he is) came in helped me settle Ella-Grace and gave me a cuddle which yes made me feel better for a bit but every night for those two weeks I was feeling like I couldn't cope. The thing is anxiety makes the smallest thing seem terrible and to me if I am not on top of every little part of my life (which obviously isn't neccessary) then I just feel like a faliure. I want to be superwoman and when I don't feel like I can be that, the world is ending in my head. I cannot describe to you the feeling, it is how I imagine drowning would be. Everything is weighing down on you and you can't breathe. 

I am now feeling much better and we are back to routine. The past few days I have felt like superwoman, everything has been getting done but still today (as I mentioned) have had a dip because - shock- I haven't been in routine. I just have to take it a day at a time and try to remember the positive and what I have accomplished which is also my advice to everyone else who is struggling. 

And breathe. Now that is out I feel a bit better, sorry if it made no sense I just needed to ramble. Thank you for reading I hope this has made you feel less alone if you too are struggling with anxiety and please comment or message me your experiences, how you have been doing and how you cope. I would love to know. I am now hoping to get back to my regular blog posts now I am out of the funk I was in, thank you so much for being so patient. I will always have anxiety, I will always have good and bad days but that does not mean it has to rule me or my life. I am in control, I can battle this and no matter what my anxiety tells me, I AM a good person and I DO deserve happiness. 

Stay Happy Everyone :)! 

Christmas Countdown: Baby's First Christmas Gift Ideas, Traditions and What Christmas means to me

17 days until Christmas....

It is December 8th 2017 and there are 17 days left until my baby girl's first Christmas! Hey, I hope all my readers are doing great and to new readers that may be here with us today, welcome! First of all I would like to start of with thanking everyone who read, shared and sent me messages of support for my #metoo blog post last week. It was very hard to write but it is so important to speak out, let others know it is not their fault and start to hopefully fix this problem we have in society. So thank you so much for that. I was truly touched. Onto a happier subject, its CHRISTMAS... well it almost is and this year is especially exciting for my little family as it is mine and Reece's first Christmas as parents and more importantly Ella-Grace's FIRST CHRISTMAS!!! So on the run up to Christmas I thought I would try to fit in at least 2 festive themed blog posts, starting with this one. So let's just get right into it. 

What Christmas means to me... 

[above: my first Christmas]

Well Christmas has always had a special place in my heart. It has always been my favourite time of year even now as a 21 year old woman I get that same excited feeling when I go to bed on Christmas eve. That I can only put down to the effort my parents, especially my Mum puts into Christmas. I always say to people my Mum is basically Mrs Claus haha. Although as I grew up I would say some of our little traditions and how early my Mum puts our Christmas decorations was 'embarrassing' I always secretly loved it and now fully embrace the Christmas spirit again. I hope to make this time of year every bit as magical for Ella-Grace as my parents have done for me. These are the best memories of my childhood and I cannot thank them enough for this. In years to come who knows maybe I will be having them over for Christmas although I know my Dad would have to be in control of Christmas dinner and Mum will have decorated my house like a Santa's grotto. 

[my mum and I, my first Christmas]

Christmas Traditions...

As I mentioned my family do have some Christmas traditions and Reece and I are going to continue these traditions with our family. We are going to my parents this year for Christmas so these traditions will obviously be automatically put in place as they have been every year since before Ella-Grace was born but even in the future when we may decide to have our own Christmas we will be trying our best to implement them just as magically as my parents have. These traditions will include: 

• Christmas movies on the run up to Christmas, leaving Polar Express for Christmas Eve (The most magical Christmas film!) 
• 1 present on Christmas Eve (always being Pyjamas) 
• Milk and cookies for Santa and carrots for reindeer. 
• Giving out Santa sack before bed to take to their room (magically to be filled with gifts by Santa in the morning!)

Something else I would like to do with Ella-Grace as she grows up during the festive season that I never did when I was younger is a 'backwards advent calendar' where ever day in December (1st - 25th) you donate something to someone who needs it whether that me clothes, toys, food whatever. I really want Ella-Grace to appreciate what she has and to know that not everyone has what she has. Having the incentive to help others and think of others before yourself is always a good thing to learn as well. I did not do it this year but next year I think is when we will start this. 

Present Ideas....

A baby's first Christmas is always a difficult one depending on the age. Ella-Grace will be 9 months just before Christmas so yes she can play and its a good age for toys but at the same time she is growing so fast so whatever we get her will most likely be given away this time next year. So depending on your babies ages this is my best advice when it comes to buying gifts for Baby's first Christmas: 

1. Stick to your budget: I know we all want to give our babies as much as we can and if you can afford to go big, good for you! But if like us your budget is tight (Christmas, First Birthday and Wedding all to pay for at once!) then just get what you can afford. Your baby won't know the difference at the moment whether they have one toy or thirty, lets be honest they will probably want the box or wrapping paper more than anything else haha. Your baby wants love. And if that means on Christmas day you are giving them a new outfit and one toy to play with. Put that outfit on them, play with that one toy and give them lots of kisses. I'm sure they will be happy with that. 
2. Buy them stuff they need: At this age they can't ask for anything so it is really up to the parent/s or guardian to decide what they want to get them. So why not have a look at what you think they may need for the year ahead. For example as I said Ella-Grace is turning 9 months just before Christmas so Reece and I knew we were going to get her quite a lot of 9-12 month clothing as this was a need regardless. Obviously we added some toys but even then we noticed she was bored of some of her toys so we got her a new toy that was more for her age now than some of her toys that are for younger babies. This will mean you are getting something she needs for her Christmas instead of getting lots of random things on top of the things baby needs. 
3. Remember other people will be buying them things: This was one I kept forgetting until relatives and friends came over with gifts. Yes, not everyone has an abundance of family and friends who want to give gifts to their children but even if you just have 1 relative or a neighbor that you think will pop by with some gifts, keep this in mind as you don't want to end up with so much presents for your little baby that you can't even find your baby in among it all haha. 
4. Its not all about the gifts: Sometimes this is hard to remember when faced with shops and TV adverts reminding you that it's Christmas and you need to buy, buy, buy!! But Christmas is not about the gifts. Yes it is nice to recieve presents of course but especially for your baby they don't even know what Christmas is yet but they do know love and happiness. So even if this year you can't afford a gift, some cuddles and playing I'm sure would make their day. Family time is much more important that the latest toy. 

As for what we are actually getting Ella-Grace..Well of course Santa is in charge of the gifts but we have had a word with him and this is the list we have compiled for Ella-Grace's first Christmas. 

Clothes : As I said, she really needs clothes so that was a give in. A new jacket was a must as well. So to be specific we bought her 2 full outfits and a jacket for Christmas, this also being what we asked for from any friends and family. You can never have too much clothes. 

Bath Toy: Again as I mentioned, her rubber ducks just haven't seemed to be cutting it recently so we got her a new bath toy from toys r us. A long boat that can be split into different sections meaning it is 3 bath toys in 1 (which I feel is very handy, you feel like your getting more for your money). 

3 in 1 Toy: Toys r us Black Friday sale gave us a bargain and we got a box in which had 3 toys ( a mini activity center, a tower which you can put a ball in the top and it rolls all the way down and a little bus with shapes you can put in and out) for half price. This meant her new toys were sorted in one purchase. Again I would always look out for these types of bargains instead of spending money on multiple different products. 

Ball Pit: We noticed how much Ella-Grace loved the ball pits at soft play and many of our friends said this was a great 1st Christmas present so we decided to get one. Amazon actually had one for £3 that folds away, it just arrived yesterday and we love it! Perfect size and easy to store. I would recommend looking at the reviews before buying anything online but yeah always look out for bargains as we almost paid £20 for one but got this one for £3. The balls did not come with this however but we were lucky that my Mum picked some up for us. I think she got them from Argos for around £5 (bag of 100 balls). 

Dairy Free Chocolate Reindeer: Tesco's Christmas Freefrom section is amazing! Whoever thinks you are limited at Christmas time as a vegan you are mistaken! This stocking filler was only about 50p and I cannot wait to watch her get messy on Christmas with her Chocolate reindeer. 

Christmas cup and bowl: Can never have too many cups and bowls as a Mum who does not always have time to wash dishes. So a Christmas cup and bowl just seemed fitting. Again bargain at Tesco for £1 each. 

Christmas bib: Tesco again! We live round the corner from one so I guess you can't blame me for doing a lot of my Christmas shopping there. A pack of two Christmas bibs £3. Never, ever can you have too many bibs!!

Bubbles: Because who doesn't love bubbles! £1 from Hawkins Bazzar. 

Glow in the dark wall stars: Ella-Grace does not like the dark so we always have to have a tiny lamp on but she also likes to look at things as she goes to sleep so I thought some glow in the dark stars above her bed would be so cute and helpful to her. £2.75 from Hawkins Bazzar including things to stick them up with. 

Books: I myself love books and would love Ella-Grace to be an avid reader like me. We noticed she has been liking Thomas the Tank Engine at the moment and so we bought her two Thomas the Tank Engine books from Waterstones. Think I got them both for under £10 as I had a discount at the time for attending a group there.  

CD player and CD: The CD player is actually my old one from when I was younger (another tip, pass gifts on) and we bought her the Moana soundtrack on CD. As most of you may know Ella-Grace adores Moana especially the music and ever since she went into her own room at 5 months old she has listened to Moana on YouTube via our iPad every night. Well I would like my iPad back and not to have to go into her room in the middle of the night to change the YouTube video back to Moana. I hope in the future she may want to listen to audiobooks ect. So she will get years of use out of this gift hopefully. 

Merry Christmas...

In case I don't get the chance before the day (although I am hoping to post one last time before Christmas) Merry Christmas! I hope no matter what you are doing, where you are or who you are with, you have the best Christmas and new year! And please spare a thought for those in the world who may not have what you have. I always find this time of year we get caught up in what we want out of it but never sit back and think of how lucky we are to actually be able to be given gifts, eat a big meal and spend time with our friends and family. This has been the best year for me and although I sometimes go through tough times I know I am extremely lucky to have the life I have. I am very grateful. So yeah enjoy and be thankful. 

Thank you for reading...

As usual thank you to everyone who ever reads my blog and feel free to leave a comment or send me a message, I love to hear from readers. Writing my blog brings so much joy to my life and I love the fact that reading it has caused joy for others too. Don't forget to follow my social media for blog updates and an insight into my day to day life! Instagram: @laurajanelifex 

Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/laurajaneblog20/

What did you/are you getting your little one for Christmas? What are your Christmas traditions? Are you a Grinch or have you had your tree up since October? Comment below! 

Stay Happy Everyone :)!

I am a good mum and I'm not afraid to say it!

This needs to be said... 

Good evening readers! I hope you are all doing well and thank you for coming back for another blog post. To those who are new here, Welcome!! 

I am writing this little post not only as a boost for myself but also as a boost for my fellow mums (and dads), reminding you all of what a good job your doing! So lets get right into it!

Why I am writing this...

When I found out I was pregnant right up to when Ella-Grace was born I had this image in my head of what kind of mum I was going to be, I wanted to be perfect (obviously there is no such thing but that is what I had in my head when I was imagining mum life). Then Ella-Grace arrived and it was amazing but I also came to find the reality of being a new mum wasn't the glamorous picture that your are shown on TV or that I had in my head. Still I adored being a mum, even in the hard times and as every parent, I was doing the best I could. But being a good mum in the 21st century is impossible with trying your best meaning nothing when it comes to social media trolls, closed minded people and articles attacking certain types of parenting. Everyone has an opinion and what they think is advice, leaving you feeling drained and almost forgetting that your child is your child, it's up to you how they are brought up. 

Guilt, shame, embarrassment, isolation and worthlessness. All these feelings can be thrust upon you, your always wondering if your doing things right. This past week I have really noticed that being a mum comes with so much scrutiny. 

You are given unwanted 'advice' and ignorant judgement from every corner.

Breastfeed your baby, don't breastfeed in public. Formula is abuse, don't give that to your child. Never co-sleep. Don't hold your baby too much. Don't feed your baby jarred food, you must make homemade. If you go out with your friends your a bad mom. Don't buy your child anything they want they will get spoiled but if they have a tantrum you must stop them straight away cause it is affecting other people. Don;t give them sweets. Don't hold them this way. You must wake your baby for feeds. Don't wake your baby for feeds. DON'T, DON'T, DON'T. DO, DO, DO! The list is endless and no matter what you do someone will be judging you. It can really get you down and I know it has for me, I am usually a super nice person (I like to think) but if anyone attacks my abilities as a mum I get very defensive and upset cause I know how much I love my baby girl and try my best to be the best mum I can be. 

Now constantly second guessing yourself because of all the scrutiny you recieve, you have now branded yourself as bad mum. But that's NOT true! 

I am a good mum...

I am a good mum. Saying this is almost viewed as taboo, you are at risk of looking like a know it all mum or vain. But this is insane! I AM A GOOD MUM! Why should I be ashamed to say it?

I have so many days that maybe someone has grilled me about parenting or I have read an article that made me feel bad. I've sat and cried thinking I am doing an injustice to my child and I need to do better but when I finally sit back to think this is what I feel.

Ella-Grace is my whole world. I feed her, I clothe her, I keep her warm, clean and happy. I play with her, try to teach her things, praise her, encourage her development. Above all I love and adore the bones of her. I am with her day in and day out. She has grown and developed from a tiny newborn to a healthy 5 month old baby and that is thanks to me. I am a good mum!!! 

There are children in the world who's parents have left them or abused them and here you are losing sleep on whether that scratch on their face could of been prevented by you- which I assure you probably couldn't. Please mums and dads of the world don't over think other peoples comments especially on social media and in click-bait articles. Look at the big picture, you are here loving and keeping this little human alive and that little human in turn adores you. I can guarantee they aren't worrying about what Auntie Karen said about how breastfeeding in public is disgusting, they just want fed. I AM A GOOD MUM and guess what so are you. 

Dads, I'm not forgetting about you...

I am all about equal rights, some may even say too much and run away from me when I call myself a feminist (but thats a topic for another day). So I personally hate when being a dad is brushed over like it's not a vital role because it most certainly is! Yes I have titled this blog post 'I am a good mum' but that is simply because I am a mum and this post was inspired by a lot of mums I know and that is the perspective I am writing from but Dads, if you are reading this you are all doing an amazing job as well. I know first hand through Reece (Ella-Grace's dad) how much a dad can love their child and do anything and everything for their child equally to a mother, Reece is an outstanding father and I know many of the dads reading this are too and I would just like to take a minute before I end this blog post to recognize that Dads, no matter what shape or size you are great!

I hope this gave you a boost...

I hope after reading this you have a little bit of a boost and are reminded what a good job your doing as a parent! Comment below what makes you a good mum or dad? Do you have a positive message for other parents? Tag someone you think needs a boost! Thank you for reading until next time please check out some of my articles on BabyGaGa.com (Latest linked below). And don't forget to follow me on my social media profiles for daily insights into 'LauraJane Life' - links on homepage and in menu.

15 Whisper Confessions By Moms Who Couldn't Breastfeed

Stay Happy Everyone :)!

Bath time: Mama's Favourites and Baby's Essentials

I Love Baths... 

Having a bath has always been my way to relax. Before having Ella-Grace, while I was pregnant and especially now being a mum (when 'me time' is rare). That small time after having the c-section where I wasn't aloud to have a bath was a very difficult time for me so when I was aloud to have one again it really helped me chill out and be the best mum I could be. When Reece comes home from work I cook supper and once Ella-Grace is down for the night that will be the time I get to have time to myself so I have a bath. Ella-Grace like her mum loves a bath, she always has since we first bathed her at a few days old- getting dry is a different story but in while she is in the bath she loves it.

Today my lovely readers, I will be telling you how our bath time goes. What I need for Ella-Graces bath routine and some of Mama's favorites that lets me enjoy my bath time to the fullest. I will link everything in this list at the end in case any of you want to get any of these things. Happy reading!

Baby's Essentials...

I thought I would start with Ella-Graces bath time essentials. But before I get into what I use for her I better tell you what her actual routine is for those who are interested in how we do it. We bath Ella-Grace twice a week, no specific day just when we can. Now it is always Reece that baths her after he finishes work because 1. It is a great daddy, daughter time for them since he is often at work all day and 2. It allows me to cook our supper, which is also something I find relaxing and enjoyable.

So yes Ella-Grace always gets bathed in the evening, we have a baby bath for her that we place in our bath (although she is growing out of that now). We wash her, play with her then take her out dry her, put her creams on and in her PJ's, Always waiting till after she has had her supper (usually a sort of vegetable puree followed by a fruit pot) cause she usually gets very messy- just so you know as well I will be doing a blog post on starting Ella-Grace on baby food, how I make it myself etc. but anyway back on today's topic, baby bath essentials.

Johnson's Baby Bubble Bath/Wash and Shampoo 

Going to be completely honest here, we have never used anything other than this combination. So if you are looking for someone who has used multiple different baby baths to find the best one then sorry I can't help you there. But I have thought about switching before (I've heard great things about Dove baby) but Ella-Grace has quite sensitive skin, suffering from excema and the Johnson's products seem to help her skin and not make it irritated so we have stuck to it. 

It can make a lot of bubbles with just the smallest amount which is good for Ella-Grace as she loves to play and grab the bubbles.  

You can purchase this in pretty much any supermarket or boots in the UK (not sure about other countries) as it is a very popular brand for babies. Most mums watching this have probably tried this one before. Not expensive and does the job, a straight to the point product.

Baby Bath Thermometer (WITH IDEAL TEMPERATURE MARKING)

Sorry if the capital letters look aggressive, I just think that is of vital importance. Making sure the bath is not too hot nor to cold for Ella-Grace and any other baby is essential. You want it to be just the right temperature for their sensitive little bodies. The thermometer I have is very simple. It is shaped as a fish and you just put it in the bath when it is full. It will float there and you can keep checking it to see when it is at the right temperature, the temperature is marked by a tiny baby silhouette. When the line is on the silhouette I know its ready to put Ella-Grace in. Definitely on the top of the essential list. 

Sponge 

Very basic, nothing special. We use a standard baby sponge from Boots to wash Ella-Grace with. Again it does the job and different versions are available pretty much everywhere. 

Bath Toys

The Classic Rubber Ducks 

Ella-Grace is still quite little (5 months old) but she does not enjoy at least looking at her bath toys in the bath. Her main bath toy being the classic rubber duck. I think these were given to us as a gift, 4 different coloured rubber ducks. You can purchase these again a lot of baby places. 

Ella-Grace loves to hold them and look at them float. Sometimes we sit one on her tummy when she's lying in the bath and she just smiles and laughs, its so cute. 

Bath Boats

Another toy she loves in the bath are her boats that Reece picked out for her when I was pregnant. We thought they were different to the standard bath toys and where she hasn't really got the hang of playing with them yet, like the rubber ducks she enjoys to look at her boats while she is getting all cleaned up. 

They came in a pack of three: one blue, one red and one orange. We purchased them I think from Asda (we have bought so much stuff I'm loosing track of where everything is from, my head is a blur of baby products haha). 

After Bath...

Hooded Towel 

A towel is an obvious must have but a hooded towel (as well as adding cuteness) is handy and keeps baby warm when they come out the bath. Also making it easier for me to dry her head, which Ella-Grace usually hates but with a hooded towel its over before she can even think to cry about it. We purchased our cute little hooded towel from Boots.

Creams 

Ella Grace has quite sensitive skin. It used to be really bad and she was suffering from excema. So after every bath we lather her up with these two creams to keep her skin from getting sore again. These two really work a charm, 

Aveeno Baby Moisturiser 

This cream was actually perscribed to Ella-Grace by the doctor when I took her because of her bad excema. Im pretty sure however you can buy this in places like Boots, Superdrug, Supermarkets or your local pharmacy (again I am from the UK so I can only speak from here). This cream has worked wonders on her skin since we started using it, her skin is clear and soft. All babies are different but you never know this might work. 

Coconut Oil

Coconut oil. Everyone knows this can work wonders for a lot of things so no wonder it is amazing to have on your skin. This is what we were using before we started with the Aveeno cream and although it didn't fix her dry skin, it definitely soothed it and made it softer. I think a combination of these two are amazing for after Ella-Grace's bath and I know she loves being all moisturised after. We bought our coconut oil from Tesco but you can pretty much get it from anywhere.

Mama's Favourites... 

Like I said at the start I adore baths. They make me so relaxed and since that this is my me time yeah I go all out, bath bombs and all! Some might say that is selfish but I work my butt off being a mum and working from home so if I want to refresh in order to do the best I can at those two things then I am going to do just that. I know my fellow mums will get me haha! 

Of all the different bath products I have tried these are definitely my favourites! 

Bath Bomb

Lush Rocket Science Bath Bomb

OMG! This bath bomb is my favourite of all time! (I know that's quite a statement) This bath bomb has everything I could possibly ask for and I  love it for these 3 reasons 1. It's shaped like a rocket which is just cute haha 2. It fizzes out the most amazing colours leaving your bath a mixure of electric blue and pink swirls which, I don't know those colours I just find magical and relaxing. 3. It makes your skin so soft after its unreal. 

Obviously everyone is different and it might not be your thing or work the same on your skin but it works wonders for me. 

Bubble Bar

SunnySide Bubble Bar

This was actually a birthday present from two of my bestfriends, I am so glad they introduced me to the world of bubble bars! I personally always go for a bath bomb, the fizz and colour always attracted me to them and being honest I didn't really know what a bubble bar was haha! The down side to bath bombs of course is you buy one and use it once then its gone. With a bubble bar you can crumble a little bit in and keep the rest for another time. I've used it 3 times now and still have plenty left!

This bubble bar is gold and glitter making my bath look fancy and me look slightly sparkly haha and creates great bubbles. On top of that making my skin so soft! This making it now an essential for my bath time relaxation. This bubble bar was from LUSH. 

Bubble Bath

Zoella Scooper Dooper

I am a huge fan of Zoella (Zoe Sugg). From her youtube videos and blog to her products- which is why I am mentioning her on this list. SCOOPER DOOPER!! Sounds funny I know (part of what attracted me to the product tbh) but this product is so good I add it to pretty much every bath! I creates the most bubbles of all my bath products and you just scoop or pour how much you want in your bath and keep the rest for next time. It comes in the cutest little tub and is available online or in store (Superdrug, boots etc). One of my all time favourite bath time products. 

Tesco Bath Cream

Simple is sometimes the best and when I do my food shop at Tesco and go past the soap isle (or whatever that isle is called) I always pick up some of their bubble bath or creme. At around 75p I think is a bargian, lasts ages and is really good! Ive used a few different kinds, most recently the lavender bath creme and love them all. So if one week I realise I'm running out on bath products but pay day isnt till next week this is what I go for. 

Face Mask

Superdrug orange and lava exfoliating mask

Love this face mask for 3 reasons! 1. Smells amazing 2. Love the way it drys on your face 3.Face is so soft afterwards! If your like me you will hate when you buy a face mask and it looks one way on the pack and then you put in on your face and it like a gel and doesn't cover your face the same. I like the product to cover my face and dry into an actual 'mask'. No idea if that makes sense but basically it covers your face like mud, dries and washes off easy. Having a facemask during my bath always gives me a proper spa/relaxation feeling. This facemask I purchase from superdrug and last time I checked it was 3 for £1, bargain!!

Candles 

I am obsessed with candles day to day (honestly my collection is so big) but during a bath having a candle lit again adds to the relaxation and these are my favourites!

Zoella- Seaside Stroll Candle 

Another Zoella product and maybe even my favourite candle of all time! Obviously depends on what kind of scent you like but I would recommend trying this one. It is so fresh and clean smelling, reminding you of the sea. I usually light it near my door so my visitors get a lovely smell as they walk in (you know instead of thee usual nappy smell or when I havent had time to do the dishes) but when I have a bath I often light it then as the smell just makes me feel so relaxed. Sounds weird but as I am a blogger, Zoella is one of my biggest inspirations and having a product of hers/using it gives me my daily dose of motivation. You can get these again online, at superdrug, boots ect. and I am pretty sure you can now buy Zoella candles in Topshop. Links will be at the end. 

After Bath

The relaxation doesnt end when the water is drained from the bath, if I have time to mositurise this is an adder bonus to my me time and makes me feel even more relaxed and fresh. Not to mention soft. 

E45 Cream
I got really bad dry patches on my skin after I had Ella-Grace. Something I had never experienced before as my skin was always pretty good even as a teenager. I went to see my doctor and they prescribed a steroid cream for a week and then continuous E45. Available pretty much everywhere, E45 makes my skin so soft and just like it was before having Ella-Grace. Again everyones skin is different but if you are suffering from dry skin it might work for you.

Nuage Tattoo Moisturiser

A new moisturiser I have started to use recently. My sister actually bought me it for my birthday. To those who don't know, I have quite a few tattoos one of which covers the top half of my arm. Soon I will be getting another on my forearm menaing my entire arm will almost be covered and of course you need to keep it moisturised to keep the tattoo looking its best. 

This moisturser has been working wonders and if my skin on my tattoo is getting dry I put some of this on and it sorts it out. I love my Tattoos this being why I apply it after every bath and making it one of  my favs. Not sure where my sister purchased this but I will look it up and link it at the end. 

I Love Chocolate Truffle Body Butter 

Who doesn't love to smell like chocolate? This body creme I use pretty much everywhere and it makes my skin so smooth as well as making me smell scrumptious! It came in a little box with chocolate body spray aswell for that added chocolateyness- I dont think that is a word but oh well haha. I think unfortunately they have stopped selling this kind (or atleast I can't find it on the website) but they have many different flavours such as strawberry & cream, coconut & cream, raspberry & blacberry etc. I'm sure they are worth a try, link below. 

LINKS TO ALL PRODUCTS:

Johnsons Baby Bubble Bath and Wash 

Johnsons Baby Shampoo

Baby Bath Sponge

Boat Toys

Rubber Ducks

Baby Bath Thermometer

Hooded Towel

Aveeno Baby Moisturiser

Coconut Oil

LUSH Rocket Science Bath Bomb

LUSH Sunnyside Bubble Bar

Zoella Scooper Dooper

Tesco Bath Cream

Superdrug Orange and Lava Exfoliating Face Mask

Zoella Seaside Stroll Candle 

E45 Cream

Nuage Skin Tattoo Moisturiser 

I love... body butter (different flavours) 

Thanks for reading....

Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and all the support as usual! I hope you liked reading about out bath time (mummy and baby, would of done Reece too but he is more of a shower kind of guy haha). What are some of your bath favourites or essentials? Have you ever used any of these products or has this blog post made you want to try any? Please let me know and comment below! Until my next blog post please check out some of my articles featured on babygaga.com (most recent article I will link below) and follow my social media for more of insight into my day to day life (links homepage or menu of blog). Till next time readers. 

15 Women Talk About How They Handled Their Unplanned Pregnancy 

Stay Happy Everyone :) !