Happy New Year Everyone..
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| New Years Day 2019 |
We are in 2019! Happy New Year Everyone! I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and New Year or even if you didn't that does not mean you cannot have an amazing 2019, I wish all good things for you guys, my lovely readers.
Reece and I have been so fortunate to of had an amazing 2017 and 2018 with so much amazing things that have happened from Ella-Grace being born and growing into such an amazing toddler to us getting married, moving and more- as you will all know from previous posts. This year, 2019, we will be completing our family with baby 2 which brings me into today's post.
Another pregnancy post...
Back with another pregnancy post! Most of my readers I know love these and are excited I am writing them again but I am also aware they are not for everyone. So, to those of you who prefer non-pregnancy related blog posts, do not worry! The next post will not be about pregnancy! But this one is so if you are not into pregnancy stories then click away and come back another time...if you are still here I assume you are here for the pregnant content so HI! Thank you for being here to follow me on my pregnancy journey with baby number two (still cannot believe I am saying that) I am so happy to share my experience with all of you. This post will be all about the first trimester (week 1 - week 13 of pregnancy)
- can I just add how weird it is writing about my first trimester now we are in 2019 as it was back in 2018, while writing this I am 19 weeks pregnant so just feels strange backtracking.. know what I mean? Sorry pointless side note back to regular programming-
and I think it is fair to say that this time around has been tough for many reasons as you will read but once again I do want to stress that I know this is NOTHING compared to what some women have to go through and no matter what I am very grateful for carrying a new life, all obstacles and hardships are worth it. This is just my experience that I want to share with you guys, please know I am grateful and I am very aware that things could be worse. That however does not make it easy.
So, without keeping you waiting on the edge of your seat any longer here is all the information on my first trimester...
Side note again: Just had a realisation that baby 2 could be reading this in the future! I just want to say I love you and I forgive you for making me so sore and sick hahaha! Just kidding, it's not your fault you were just a tiny fetus. I would go through it all again for you and I love you so much all ready.
4 - 6 weeks pregnant....
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| Positive test and 5 weeks pregnant on Honeymoon |
The last pregnancy related post that was up on my blog was all about how Reece and I conceived baby number 2 - link here : TTC Journey/LauraJane:Life
I left you all at me taking the pregnancy test (on the 27th September 2018: 4 weeks 3 days pregnant), it being positive and me telling Reece he was going to be a Daddy to two babies! Very exciting times. After this I told my family and close friends and then... oh yeah we were going away on our honeymoon DAYS after we found out (30th September 2018: 4 weeks 6 days pregnant). Felt like such a crazy thing to do when you have just found out your pregnant but hey ho, that is what we did and I know there is nothing dangerous about flying in early pregnancy (that I have been told anyway).
So, 30th September 2018 we set off on our honeymoon to Marmaris, Turkey. 1st October 2018, our first day on our honeymoon, I was 5 weeks pregnant.
(I am still to share our honeymoon experience and all we did, how I coped with separation anxiety etc so I am not going to go into that in too much detail on here as that is a separate post but just to let you guys know that it is coming. Sorry it is so late.)
We had an amazing first few days, I missed Ella-Grace beyond belief- again I will be going through that in a separate post- but we did enjoy our first few days on our honeymoon. Eating lots of food, enjoying the sunshine, taking part in loads of excursions (pregnancy safe ones), it was amazing. Then it got to day 4 and the sickness and anxiety set in. We still had 3 days left!
Reece, bless him he really is the best husband ever. He has been talking about going away with me since we met pretty much, he has been abroad before and loves hot, sunny weather. Knowing I had never been to any other country bar the UK he has always been keen to take me away. It had never worked out for us really and now finally after 6 years together we had the chance to go away not only on holiday but on our honeymoon. Probably the only time we are ever going to go away just the two of us and of course I have terrible morning sickness from pregnancy and anxiety just over half way through our week away. I felt guilty but also knew another baby is what he wanted to so supporting me during the sickness was just something he had to deal with as a part of that. He was an angel and as I was sick in bed in our hotel room, air con blasting to cool me down, he ran to the closest shop to get me some crackers (that being the only thing I could stomach, literally even now just thinking about this time makes me feel sick).
Now being about 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant I had come to realise that this morning sickness was way worse than last time, foreshadowing the rest of the first trimester. As for anxiety it was a combination of being away from home while feeling very sick and missing Ella-Grace more than words can even describe, making me even look into changing our flights home but it just was not feasible. Tears and sickness aside however we did push through and enjoyed the rest of the honeymoon, mostly by the pool in the hotel so I could still go back to our hotel room if I needed to but it was still so wonderful and we made so many good memories.
8th October 2018 I was 6 weeks pregnant and we were on our way home from our honeymoon. I do not recommend travelling long distance when experiencing extreme morning sickness it was pretty tough. 9th October 2018 we were back home and reunited with Ella-Grace which made me so happy and cured my separation anxiety but obviously not my pregnancy sickness which kick starts the next set of weeks in the first trimester.
6 - 9 weeks pregnant...
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| First sign of little bump and 9 weeks pregnant on Halloween |
So as I said 6 weeks pregnant, back from Honeymoon, Reece back to work and me reunited with Ella-Grace which I was extremely happy about but felt horrendously sick and still very on edge and anxious. Mixed emotions.
Looking back now I think it was a mixture of pregnancy hormones, my forever looming anxiety and all the change in routine (which I DO NOT do well with at all, my anxiety and panic attacks are kept at bay because of routine and planning) that made me feel quite down, not to mention the sickness. On top of that as well because I had just come back I wanted to do so much with Ella-Grace but because of the extent to which I felt sick I felt like I could not do anything and did not want to leave the sofa never mind the house, I did now and again and tried my best to go to the park or on walks but to be 100% honest the TV was my best friend and a lot of those early weeks were spent in our pyjamas on the sofa, So the Mum guilt of course set in as I hate not being active with Ella-Grace and too much TV is a personal pet hate so yeah; sickness, anxiety now add a dash of guilt. That was week 6 and 7 of my second pregnancy in a nutshell and week 8 started out the same except now Ella-Grace was ill too.. nightmare! Struggling with a chest infection and her asthma, our poor baby was having a tough time too. Meaning more time inside, more TV and a very stressed out Mama! I was seeing the TV time affect her behaviour and it was breaking me. These weeks were most definitely tough! Thankfully Halloween gave us a bit of a boost! As I turned 9 weeks pregnant Halloween came around and our little angel had a blast dressed as a bat and I shaved my head once again for charity. The sickness had not gone away but at least these events put my spirits up. Routine was coming back, anxiety was going down slightly and I tried to ignore the sickness and return to normality which was less TV (2 hours a day max), attending groups and sticking to a routine. I may have went a bit over board with this as you will see.
10 - 13 weeks pregnant
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| Ella-Grace seeing scan picture for the first time |
10 weeks pregnant now, into double digits (the date now being 5th November 2018). The exact day I turned 10 weeks pregnant I remember clearly because it was the day I had my booking appointment with the midwife, spent the day with my parents and enjoyed sparklers with Ella-Grace that night for the first time- it was adorable inserting pic below!
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| Bonfire Night 2018 |
All fun and games. The booking appointment went well the only downfall was that it was quite late for a booking appointment. I had phoned just before we left on honeymoon to make the appointment for when we came back and they said that booking appointments were usually between 8 and 10 weeks and my practice obviously only had availability around when I was 10 weeks (With Ella-Grace I think my booking appointment was made for 8 weeks). Fun fact- they actually booked my first appointment for 12 weeks by mistake and I had to phone back to change it because obviously by that point I should be having a scan not a booking appointment but anyways, my booking appointment was later than most which meant my scan would be later. My first scan was booked for after I would turn 13 weeks pregnant. Not a big deal at all but one thing that was really hard for me was keeping the secret that I was pregnant. Most of my close family and friends knew but it was still a secret and a 'taboo' in a way if anyone knew before the first scan. I spoke in my previous pregnancy about how much this stressed me out and how I think no one should be made to feel bad for talking about their pregnancy before they reach 12 weeks or have their first scan. Pregnancy is amazing whether it be 9 days, 9 weeks or 9 months and it should be allowed and socially acceptable to be spoke about at any stage. This being the reason that instead of keeping it a secret from everyone this time round I did almost the opposite and told many close friends and family members pretty much as soon as I knew I was pregnant. Social media is a totally different thing for me personally I just had no interest in announcing it until I knew everything was okay with baby especially after our chemical pregnancy scare when trying but that is just me, I think anyone can announce it whenever they want that was just what we decided. However if people asked or mentioned anything about pregnancy/ the fact that Reece and I were trying in person I did share the news, I was a lot more open this time and it helped but it still felt taboo to tell people and certain people acted like my pregnancy was a big secret no one could possibly know but that's not what I wanted so it was still a slight stressor. Which is when I learnt that my scan date was a week later than expected it made me kind of sad because I wanted this 'hush, hush' time to be over. I am a talker, I talk about what I am going through and what is happening in my life. Literally it is what I am doing right now by writing my thoughts, feelings and experiences on the internet so yeah I wanted everything to be open and the later scan put a damper on that for me. Sorry that was a large tangent I just wanted to explain, leave a comment if you can relate to what I mean or maybe you kept your pregnancy a secret for much longer? I would love to know either way.
Anyway, so between 10 and 11 weeks pregnant I was still feeling horrendously sick but powering through with my strict routine in an attempt to control my anxiety and do more with Ella-Grace. This meant lots of groups. Gymnastics, football, dancing, swimming and the occasional drop in toddler group. Ella-Grace loved every one of these classes, especially gymnastics but as week 10 of my pregnancy past and almost to the end of week 11 I started getting severe lower back ache and tummy cramps. Started off minimal but on 17th November 2018 it got really painful and worrying, I phoned the midwife and was told to go straight to the hospital. My heart sank. I phoned Reece and told him he needed to come home from work to be with Ella-Grace while I went to the hospital, I phoned family to tell them the situation and off I went. One of the scariest moments of my life.
I got to the hospital around 5pm and by this point I was in a lot of pain and feeling very very sick (the sickness was normal by now but the pain was not). Hours later, checked over by a midwife and then a doctor I was admitted to hospital on strong pain killers and anti-sickness tablets. They wanted me to have an early scan the next morning meaning I was being admitted for the night which I was not prepared for. My lovely friend who is also pregnant due very soon, drove to my house to pick up a bag Reece packed for me, went to the shop for some snacks and dropped them off at my hospital room, keeping me company for a little while. It was very sweet of her and I am so thankful. Her company calmed me when I was so worried.
Keeping everyone updated but now at this point my friend had left and I was very tired I was just going to close my eyes and try to get some rest through my worry then in came a scan technician and told me they could scan me right then and there.
18th November 2018 at 10pm I saw my second child for the first time via an emergency scan. 11 weeks and 5 days pregnant, almost 2 weeks before my confirmation scan was scheduled, there on the screen was the little life growing inside me and he/she was perfectly happy and healthy (thank goodness!). I was so relived! After checking my wriggly baby they also scanned to check my ovaries (the original fear was that I was experiencing an eptopic pregnancy where the baby attaches in the Fallopian tube but luckily that was not the case) they looked fine too. Baby looked good so at that point I could technically have gone home but with it being so late and being quite sick and sore they told me to stay over night and I would be checked and spoken to in the morning. I sent Reece the picture of the scan, writing, 'Baby 2 is looking great!' at 10.05pm. Needless to say he was also very happy and releaved. .
After a bad nights sleep due to sickness and pain it was morning and they brought me some breakfast (surprisingly a lot of vegan options which I was happy about) I managed to stomach that thanks to the anti-sickness medication, the first thing I had ate in probably 12 hours. It was after this that I spoke to the doctor and after our chat (about symptoms, my daily life, diet etc) she came to the conclusion that I needed rest. I had been pushing myself too hard especially when I had not really been eating much due to sickness so I really needed to get my energy levels back. I had lost weight (now being under 9 stone due to not being able to eat because of pregnancy sickness) and she said to basically cool it for a while on Ella-Grace's activities, take anti-sickness tablets every day so I could start eating again and be on bed rest for a week. It was good advice and definitely what I needed to get better but the struggles did not stop there and being realistic, when your husband works a lot and you are alone at home with a toddler you cannot really be on bed rest. But I did give myself a break. Anyways so Ella-Grace and Reece came to meet me at the hospital and it was then that Ella-Grace laid eyes on her sibling for the first time (19th Novemebr 2018).
To cheer us up after the big scare, now we knew everything was okay with baby and I was home safe and sound, getting some rest, we announced our second pregnancy on Facebook. Everyone was delighted for us and wished me well. Luckily Reece was off the remainder of that day and managed to get the following day off also to help with Ella-Grace (taking her to her football class) and allow me to at least have two full days of bed rest before he had to return to work.
The bed rest helped my back ache a lot and it was no longer scarily sore. The anti-sickness tablets were really helping me get my appetite back which was amazing too but the big downfall was they made me extremely drowsy which is not great when you are looking after a toddler by yourself so I had to be careful when I took them. I could take up to 3 doses which I definitely needed so I went for first thing in the morning while Reece was home to help, when Ella-Grace had her nap and just before bed so I could sleep through the drowsiness. They really did help the sickness and helped me and baby as far as nutrients go because I could then eat but the drowsiness was dreadful. I felt so dizzy and faint, I would snap at Reece if he tried to talk to me and I could not get up to play with Ella-Grace while I felt so out of it. I could see Reece getting fed up with me moaning about how the tablets made me feel but I did not care, it was horrible I felt all drugged up 3 separate times in the day and I hated it. Apart from being admitted to hospital this may well have been the absolute worst part of the first trimester, I was at my lowest point. No longer sick but once again I was anxious, tired, emotional, out of routine and FULL of Mum guilt. I was not being the Mum I wanted to be for Ella-Grace and felt she was missing out which was so hard. I knew I was growing her a sibling and I knew I had to get myself back to normal in order to look after her but damn I felt bad. I am usually the hands on Mum, up for playing and thinking of activities and groups to go to. I love learning with her and teaching her things. I had turned into a couch potato who used the TV as a baby sitter (especially in the drowsy times) I felt like I was the worst Mum in the world. Very dramatic and clearly not true but you fellow Mums out there will know, Mum guilt is real and convinces you of crazy things.
Fast forward to week 13 and it was time for my scheduled scan (which would of been the first scan if we had not needed the emergency scan). Once again everything looked fine and by now I was on the mend. Off bed rest, down to one or no sickness tablets a day and gaining weight like I should be. Heading for the second trimester and SO ready to leave weeks 1-13 of my second pregnancy behind. And that was that, the first trimester.
Thank You For Reading...
And that is the first trimester done and dusted. It was a lot more challenging than my first pregnancy and I had some down times during it as you have read but looking back now I cannot believe how fast it went. I am now, as you are reading this, almost half way through my pregnancy! I cannot wait to meet our second bundle of joy and for Ella-Grace to meet her sibling. I am so lucky to be carrying this little life and although I felt like crap most of the first trimester I would go through it all again for this little life. So excited about this last edition to our family.
Thank you for reading everyone, it was a long post so well done if you managed to stick around until the end. Comment below how you have found/are finding the first trimester? Or if you are in a totally different boat- for example still trying to conceive, finished having kids, going down a different path such as adoption or not having kids at all/any time soon- comment down below too and lets all have a conversation. I can't wait to hear all your stories just as I hope you have enjoyed reading mine.
I will have more posts for you soon that I am sure you will not want to miss so keep an eye out for my next post! Follow me on my social media handles (@laurajanelifex on Instagram and LauraJane Life on Facebook). Till next time...
Stay Happy Everyone :)!
Carrot And Coriander Soup (Vegan)
