Our Breastfeeding Journey

A post many of you have been waiting for and one I have been very excited to write. I am now 7 months into exclusively breastfeeding and LOVING it (although it has come with its challenges of course). 
So, with my silver boobs badge on and new knowledge/experience of breastfeeding I hope to help other Mamas hoping to breastfeed. 

My thoughts on breast vs bottle...

Reece bottle feeding Ella-Grace

So, I guess we should start with the age old- somewhat controversial- debate. Firstly, I think there should be no 'VS', this is not a fight, we are all mothers trying to do the best for their baby and everyone's circumstances are different so no matter your opinion you should always support your fellow Mother. 

I have experienced both bottle feeding and breastfeeding and so I do believe I had a holistic view. 

Me breastfeeding Sunday

My opinion, and speaking truthfully is that breast milk is of course better. It is the healthiest option, the milk is made for your baby and speaking from an environmentalist stand point it is far more environmentally friendly than formula. There is no competition for the amazing antibodies in breast milk along with so many benefits for mother and baby. BUT this does not mean that bottle feeding is bad NOT AT ALL! There are women who physically cannot breastfeed or their circumstances mean they are unable to. Some women find it overwhelming, painful, mentally draining or simply do not want to. It is a Mothers choice and that should not be judged. Breastfeeding may be natural but that certainly does not mean it is easy and although I definitely think breastfeeding should be encouraged and more information should be readily available to pregnant women and new mothers I also support bottle feeding as in many situations it can save the lives of many babies and the mental health of a Mother. It is a choice only the Mother can make and she should be supported whatever she chooses. 

I would like to say also that many women mix feed or exclusively pump breast milk, which again should be supported. 

My past breastfeeding experience...

Breastfeeding Ella-Grace

My past breastfeeding experience was not positive and really I breastfed Ella-Grace for such a short amount of time I don't even know if I would call it an experience. I have spoken about it before on my blog but I will recap for anyone who does not know. 

From 2 days old Ella-Grace was mixed fed (formula and breast-milk). Before having Ella-Grace I was determined to breastfeed but once she was here despite latching perfectly, misinformation and lack of knowledge were my down fall. Cluster-feeding almost immediately I thought I did not have enough milk (so so wrong) and through my hysteric crying the nurse told me that 'all babies get a cup feed of formula in the first few days' (again wrong but I think she was just trying to help) so that is what we did. On the way home from the hospital convinced I had to mix feed and that I did not have enough breast milk I got my parents to pick up some formula for her. From then on she was mixed fed (having breast milk all day and one bottle at night) I was keen to take her off the formula and just have breastmilk but then Ella-Grace started being very sick when she fed and losing weight. I quickly realised that this was because of the dairy in my diet and that it did not agree with her. We managed to switch to a prescribed dairy free formula that she managed to keep down easily and although I tried to keep up the breastfeeding now no longer having dairy in my diet, that was not enough as the dairy can stay in your breast milk for up to 6 weeks. She would projectile vomit my breast milk but keep down her prescribed formula so to avoid her losing more and more weight we switched. From 8 weeks old Ella-Grace was bottle fed. I feel guilt about this now and wished I could have breastfed her for longer. 

My breastfeeding aims...

Pregnant again and now thinking about how I want to feed my second child. Breastfeeding was what I wanted, as the healthiest option and a healing experience as the first time round it did not go to plan. I wanted the breastfeeding experience I never got with Ella-Grace especially as I knew this would be my last chance as we did not want anymore than two children. I was determined to exclusively breastfeed this time and so I informed myself and set goals. First I wanted to get past 8 weeks (once I had completed that I would be further than I ever got with Ella-Grace), then 3 months, 6 months and finally a year. 1 year was the goal any after that is a huge bonus! Goals were set and now to see if I could meet those goals we just had to wait for our little baby to make her appearance. 

Ready, steady, breastfeed...

She is here!!! Latched on instantly! I was euphoric! A good latch (I had learned through my research on breastfeeding) was key to a good breastfeeding journey and Sunday went from womb to latched on so fast. Step one complete! Things got complicated at this point as I had to go to surgery but after a discussion with the midwives and doctors they were happy for me to take her with me to continue bonding and breastfeeding. This was key to getting us off to a good start to our breastfeeding journey so I fought for it. She was latched onto me the whole time in surgery (an insight into the future right there haha). 

The early days...

Now in recovery it was time to really focus on breastfeeding (I just wanted to clarify here that there was a lot going on with mine and Sunday's complications, recovery etc but for the sake of this post I am just focusing on what happened with breastfeeding). 

Hindsight is a wonderful thing especially when it is accompanied with increased knowledge. This was now my second time attempting to start exclusively breastfeeding and my attitude second time round was so different (even if I was still full of emotion and sleep deprived). First time round I was not informed and I think naively expected breastfeeding to just work out, I mean its the most natural thing right? I quickly learnt that natural did not necessarily mean easy. My lack of knowledge and the misinformation I had received made for a bad start first time round. 
Second time round however I was much more informed and much more confident. I did track how often Sunday fed, how many dirty nappies she was having etc (they give you a little feeding diary in the hospital) but really I just trusted my body and whenever Sunday wanted to nurse, I nursed her. That was my mindset from the get go. Sunday was born on Friday afternoon and clusterfed pretty much straight away, by Saturday evening my colostrum had turned to full milk (everyone's body is different so do not stress if this did not or does not happen for you, the early days babies need very very little).   

Going well...

The first few weeks of Sunday's life were stressful to say the least. In and out of hospital, I was sick and also suffering very mentally, Sunday had an infection, a lot was happening. Breastfeeding however was still going strong and I really think this is what got us both through the tough recovery. Breastfeeding obviously is amazing for both mother and baby's health but also for bonding. My mind was all over the place and so I felt guilty that I was not just enjoying my new baby and being in the new born bubble but thanks to breastfeeding the bond was strong and the smooth start to the journey was a light in a dark situation. 

Slowly we were recovering and breastfeeding continued to go well. I did experience a clogged duct and some nipple pain in the beginning which is not nice but we got past it. The early days/weeks while your body and your baby adjust to breastfeeding can be the most difficult but it certainly does get easier. 

Pumping and expressing...

Quite early on I started to pump/express breast milk. I was not planning on leaving Sunday any time soon I just knew I wanted a stash of breast milk in case I ever did need to leave her and also to give Reece a chance to feed her (which was great if I was in the bath and she needed fed- Reece could grab the bottle of breast milk and feed her). 

As time went on I pumped less (I just don't have the time) and now I just do it if I know I am going to be away from her which is very rare. I also thought pumping would help me keep my supply up but it is not a necessary thing to do for your supply as your baby is the one who will regulate that. 

Reduced milk supply scare...

When Sunday was around 4 months old I got a really bad tummy bug. Thanks to the amazing antibodies in breastmilk, Sunday did not get sick. I however was very sick and could not even keep water down- I noticed by supply slightly decrease and that was so stressful. Luckily I did have some stored breastmilk at this point so Reece managed to give her one bottle of pumped breastmilk but mainly I had her on me as that is the only way to keep your supply up- feed, feed, feed! Once I was better and eating and drinking again my supply went back up. 

Back on track...

Now back on track with my supply back to normal, breastfeeding was once again going well. Around when Sunday was 4 months old I felt my supply had regulated. I was no longer scared I didn't have 'enough milk' nor feeling painfully engorged if Sunday slept for a long time. It has seemed my body now knew how much milk I needed to produce for baby Sunday. Since then there is not much to tell, breastfeeding has become second nature. Some days Sunday is on me non stop and I can have times where I feel overly touched-just being honest- but I know it won't last forever, I will be so sad when she stops breastfeeding and for every 1 time I feel like its too much I love it 1000 times more. I love breastfeeding my baby Sunday, 7 months exclusively breastfeeding now and no stopping in sight. 

My worries and how I dealt with them...

Although I had done a lot of research and listened to other peoples positive experiences with breastfeeding before Sunday was born, I still had my worries. 

1. Is Sunday getting enough milk? 

I think most if not all Mothers have this worry when they start to breastfeed. I think it is because with bottle feeding you can literally see how much they are getting. I felt like this was a constant worry but what always made me feel better was asking myself these questions.. Is she very unsettled? No. Is she getting wet and dirty nappies? Yes. This on top of reminding myself to trust my body and trust my baby, this worry was soon gone. 

2. Leaving her and how it would affect my milk supply

I was petrified of leaving Sunday because I thought that leaving her too soon even just for a few hours would greatly affect milk supply and we would end up formula feeding which is not what I wanted. I planned to not leave her at all until she was at least 6 months old but around when she was 3 months old my sister was turning 30. I had helped plan a night out for her and wasn't going to go but after reassurance from my health visitor I pumped a good amount of breast milk and was went for about 4 hours. It was in the evening and Sunday had been sleeping for about 7 hours straight at this point. Not having a feed for those 7 hours meaning 4 hours away during a time where she would not usually have a feed was fine. Of course breastfeeding is on demand so I left milk for her in a bottle (she had, had a few bottles of breastmilk before just to see if she would take one) and off I went. I had a great time even though I was worried a lot but she slept the whole time. I have now been away from her a hand full of times now and everything has been fine with supply, latch etc. Now that does not mean it would be like that for everyone, this is just my experience. Also keeping in mind the max time I have been away from her is 4 hours and in that time she has either been sleeping, I feed her before I leave and when I get back or if she has a feed while I am out I will make sure to pump when I get home. Leaving a breastfed baby over night, for days or long periods of time I do not have experience in. But a for leaving Sunday for a couple hours I am no longer worried about that. 

(Update on this- Sunday has refused to take a bottle the past two times I have left her- one time was for 2 hours and the other was for 4 hours- she is now eating food so she had food while I was gone and weirdly she was happy to drink my breast milk out of a sippy cup. So yeah as you can see you just have to adapt with your baby. No one experience is the same.) 

3. Clogged milk duct 

I was so scared of getting a clogged milk duct or even worse having mastitis (an infection you can get from a clogged milk duct). Around 2 or 3 months into breastfeeding Sunday I woke up with a very sore right breast. It felt like someone had punched me in the chest and I had a really bad bruise. It looked very red and sore. I phoned my health visitor and she told me to keep feeding Sunday on that side and to massage the area that is sore and that would hopefully fix it. It worked!! I also put a heat pack on it to take away some of the pain while it was sore. That has happened again recently (Sunday is now 7 months old) and I did the same thing and it fixed it again. If you are worried however do not hesitate going to the doctor for advice, I am not medically trained so please speak to a professional. 

Advice for others...

1. Trust your body 

This was the biggest change from the first time I tried breastfeeding to the second and also this was what helped me the most. Trusting my body. First time round I did not believe in my body at all and was convinced I had to teach my body how to breastfeed basically and I had no confidence in myself. This time round determined to breastfeed for at least 12 months I told myself to trust my body and that it knows what to do. Yes I had worries but when it came down to it as long as I was trusting by body I knew that everything would be okay. This meant when baby wanted fed, feed her, the more feeding the more milk supply was built, this was the simple truth and what I kept in mind. This trusting my body also went hand in hand with my next point..trust your baby. 

2. Trust your baby

Women have been breastfeeding since time began; it is the most natural thing in the world. This is why the most important thing when going into breastfeeding is to, like I said, trust your body but also trust your baby. Before the internet, formula etc all there was, was Mum and baby. A baby would be born and without any knowledge Mothers would latch their baby onto their chest and that was that, the trust for baby and body was a necessity. Now although the internet is an amazing invention and like I said, formula has it's place for those who struggle to or do not want to breastfeed, it has also made us doubt ourselves. Many women thinking their body doesn't know how to breastfeed, won't make 'enough milk', their baby won't latch and more before they have even had their baby in their arms; there is no confidence. I cannot stress enough that once that baby is put on your chest and latches on, that is what you need to focus on. Just the two of you. Of course ask for help if you need it and do not stress if baby does not latch instantly but just remember at the end of the day all that is really needed for breastfeeding to work out is to trust the process, trust what as women our bodies are naturally inclined to do and trust that your baby knows this too. Mum and baby, live in that bubble. This helped me so much!!

3. Be informed

Going along with the trusting your body and your baby is this, being informed. This is where the internet can come in handy. When I was pregnant with my first I did no research into breastfeeding and naively believed that because it is natural that it is easy which was so wrong. For some women it may come easy but for other it may be difficult and need to be worked on. Even if it does come easy however being informed about breastfeeding is still a must as there is so much misinformation that can throw you off track or make you worried about breastfeeding when there is no need to be. First time round I listened to a lot of misinformation which really did not get me off to a great start. So read into breastfeeding, follow some breastfeeding mamas on social media, attend a breastfeeding group, talk to a lactation consultant. Please be informed and DO NOT listen to anyone that is telling you that you "won't be able to breastfeed" or any silly myths a long those lines. For example when I was breastfeeding Ella-Grace at 2 days old I was concerned her cluster-feeding was a sign of her not getting enough milk from me and someone very wrongly told me I "had to give her formula because I had no milk", I naively listened but this was of course not true and if I had done my research or spoke to experienced breastfeeding Mothers I would have known that cluster-feeding is NORMAL, babies need only the colostrum in the first few days that you DO have and that it can take days at least for full breast milk to come through. More knowledgeable and informed second time round I was so much more confident and sure of myself and my body. I will leave some links below that I felt helped me prepare for breastfeeding. 

[Helpful breastfeeding links: Breastfeeding NHS 
https://www.laleche.org.uk/get-support/
https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/
NCT Early Days Breastfeeding ]

4. Keep a log

In the hospital likely you will be given a book in which you can log how often baby feeds and how many wet and dirty nappies baby has. This really helped settle any nerves I had. Seeing this information written down made me feel a lot better, I would not stress about how she was doing because I had logged her progress and did not have to try and keep all the information stored in my sleep deprived head. I could relax which again does help with breastfeeding. If anyone is willing to help you whether that be family member or friend, get them to log it for you. It is not for everyone and I did only keep up with it for about a week or two but it really does give you that extra boost in the beginning to see it down on paper especially if you are a control freak like me. 

5. Ask for help (from the right people) 

Lastly, armed with all of the above if you still have worries please do ask for help- from the right people. By the right people I mean please consult a medical professional (doctor, midwife, lactation consultant) or if you do feel more comfortable with a friend make sure it is someone who knows about breastfeeding and supports that breastfeeding is what you want. Because hearing "you have done 3 weeks of breastfeeding that's good enough you can feel good about formula feeding now" from an in experienced or unsupportive person is not the advice you want if you want to continue breastfeeding. Of course if you did choose to change to formula feeding that is your choice but there is nothing worse than wanting to be supported in your decision and although most people will mean well hearing "just switch to formula" is not advice. Get the right advice from the right people, you and your baby deserve to be supported. 

Proud of myself...

Nearing the end of this post now I would like to say how proud I am of my baby girl, Sunday. She had a bit of a rough start in the world but she is a trouper and a big reason why breastfeeding has gone well is basically because she has latched on and never let go since haha she has taught me how to breastfeed in a way. It is team work however and with that I am so so so proud of myself. I was determined to breastfeed this time round and here I am almost 8 months of exclusively breastfeeding beautiful baby Sunday girl. I believed in myself, my baby and I was informed. I ignored negative comments and unhelpful advice. I embraced the breastfeeding mama I was meant to be and although not always easy is has been one of the best experiences of my life, long may it continue. 12 month breastfeeding goal here I come!!!

Thanks for reading...

And that's it... my breastfeeding blog post is finally complete. I hope it was worth the wait and the read for all you wonderful people. I am so happy to have my experience written out for you all. Please remember I am not a medical professional so any problems or queries please consult qualified people. Again all of this was my own experience and I support all my fellow Mothers (and fathers) in their parenting/feeding experience. The world is a much happier place when we all support each other, no good comes from judgement. 

Please remember to follow me on all my social media to see more of my daily life as a vegan, home ed, Mum of two girls. Drop me a message I love to speak to all my readers!

Lastly, to all my fellow Mamas who want to breastfeed or are just starting out YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!! 

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Stay Happy Everyone :) <3

I am a good mum and I'm not afraid to say it!

This needs to be said... 

Good evening readers! I hope you are all doing well and thank you for coming back for another blog post. To those who are new here, Welcome!! 

I am writing this little post not only as a boost for myself but also as a boost for my fellow mums (and dads), reminding you all of what a good job your doing! So lets get right into it!

Why I am writing this...

When I found out I was pregnant right up to when Ella-Grace was born I had this image in my head of what kind of mum I was going to be, I wanted to be perfect (obviously there is no such thing but that is what I had in my head when I was imagining mum life). Then Ella-Grace arrived and it was amazing but I also came to find the reality of being a new mum wasn't the glamorous picture that your are shown on TV or that I had in my head. Still I adored being a mum, even in the hard times and as every parent, I was doing the best I could. But being a good mum in the 21st century is impossible with trying your best meaning nothing when it comes to social media trolls, closed minded people and articles attacking certain types of parenting. Everyone has an opinion and what they think is advice, leaving you feeling drained and almost forgetting that your child is your child, it's up to you how they are brought up. 

Guilt, shame, embarrassment, isolation and worthlessness. All these feelings can be thrust upon you, your always wondering if your doing things right. This past week I have really noticed that being a mum comes with so much scrutiny. 

You are given unwanted 'advice' and ignorant judgement from every corner.

Breastfeed your baby, don't breastfeed in public. Formula is abuse, don't give that to your child. Never co-sleep. Don't hold your baby too much. Don't feed your baby jarred food, you must make homemade. If you go out with your friends your a bad mom. Don't buy your child anything they want they will get spoiled but if they have a tantrum you must stop them straight away cause it is affecting other people. Don;t give them sweets. Don't hold them this way. You must wake your baby for feeds. Don't wake your baby for feeds. DON'T, DON'T, DON'T. DO, DO, DO! The list is endless and no matter what you do someone will be judging you. It can really get you down and I know it has for me, I am usually a super nice person (I like to think) but if anyone attacks my abilities as a mum I get very defensive and upset cause I know how much I love my baby girl and try my best to be the best mum I can be. 

Now constantly second guessing yourself because of all the scrutiny you recieve, you have now branded yourself as bad mum. But that's NOT true! 

I am a good mum...

I am a good mum. Saying this is almost viewed as taboo, you are at risk of looking like a know it all mum or vain. But this is insane! I AM A GOOD MUM! Why should I be ashamed to say it?

I have so many days that maybe someone has grilled me about parenting or I have read an article that made me feel bad. I've sat and cried thinking I am doing an injustice to my child and I need to do better but when I finally sit back to think this is what I feel.

Ella-Grace is my whole world. I feed her, I clothe her, I keep her warm, clean and happy. I play with her, try to teach her things, praise her, encourage her development. Above all I love and adore the bones of her. I am with her day in and day out. She has grown and developed from a tiny newborn to a healthy 5 month old baby and that is thanks to me. I am a good mum!!! 

There are children in the world who's parents have left them or abused them and here you are losing sleep on whether that scratch on their face could of been prevented by you- which I assure you probably couldn't. Please mums and dads of the world don't over think other peoples comments especially on social media and in click-bait articles. Look at the big picture, you are here loving and keeping this little human alive and that little human in turn adores you. I can guarantee they aren't worrying about what Auntie Karen said about how breastfeeding in public is disgusting, they just want fed. I AM A GOOD MUM and guess what so are you. 

Dads, I'm not forgetting about you...

I am all about equal rights, some may even say too much and run away from me when I call myself a feminist (but thats a topic for another day). So I personally hate when being a dad is brushed over like it's not a vital role because it most certainly is! Yes I have titled this blog post 'I am a good mum' but that is simply because I am a mum and this post was inspired by a lot of mums I know and that is the perspective I am writing from but Dads, if you are reading this you are all doing an amazing job as well. I know first hand through Reece (Ella-Grace's dad) how much a dad can love their child and do anything and everything for their child equally to a mother, Reece is an outstanding father and I know many of the dads reading this are too and I would just like to take a minute before I end this blog post to recognize that Dads, no matter what shape or size you are great!

I hope this gave you a boost...

I hope after reading this you have a little bit of a boost and are reminded what a good job your doing as a parent! Comment below what makes you a good mum or dad? Do you have a positive message for other parents? Tag someone you think needs a boost! Thank you for reading until next time please check out some of my articles on BabyGaGa.com (Latest linked below). And don't forget to follow me on my social media profiles for daily insights into 'LauraJane Life' - links on homepage and in menu.

15 Whisper Confessions By Moms Who Couldn't Breastfeed

Stay Happy Everyone :)!

Fed is best.

Another highly requested blog post....
Hello there my readers! I hope you are all doing well! If this is your first time reading one of my blog posts, welcome! Today I am again writing another post that has been requested- my views on bottle vs breast and how you first establish feeding. I did touch on this in my breastfeeding blog post but I have been asked to go more in depth, so that's what I am doing. I hope you enjoy!

Figuring out feeding...
Before I even get into the whole "debate" I was asked by a reader how do you know what to do? When to feed the baby etc? This being something you only really find out when you have a baby - no matter how many parenting for idiot books you read. Being a mum who has now experienced both breast and bottle feeding I can put across how I figured it out as timing, routine etc is different with the two different types of feeding.

Breastfeeding- 
Breastfeeding is 100% on demand. You can try your hardest to time feedings but ultimately the baby is in charge. As far as I am aware from speaking to my midwife and health visitor (but don't quote me I am not a medical professional) you cannot over feed on breast milk and babies can feed every hour or more. Ella-Grace cluster fed, meaning she would be on and off, on and off my breast whenever she was awake. Partly for comfort and obviously because she was hungry. So to answer the question when it comes to breastfeeding you don't really know how much they are getting as you would when measuring a bottle and over-feeding is not possible so the timing and 'knowing what to do' isn't really a thing, you do as the baby demands. This being my knowledge from my experience. If you are worried about whether your baby is getting enough milk though (as I was when I came home from hospital) you can track feeds as well as dirty nappies that way you will get an idea of if your baby is getting enough. The way I did this was through an app on my phone where you would log each dirty nappy and time each feed. If Ella-Grace was feeding for longer than 10 mins and less than 1 hour then pulling away and having dirty nappies following this, I was assured that she was doing well. All babies are different though so as I said you really just have to listen to your baby and don't be scared to ask for help if you need to. The amount of questions I have asked the health visitor I'm surprised her head didn't explode haha.

Bottle feeding- 
Bottle feeding is a lot more scheduled, with set amounts and timings. On the formula tin it has guidelines as to how much your baby should eat and how often depending on their age. Ella-Grace (almost 4 months old) now has 180 mls, every 3-4 hours. I personally do not wake her up from her sleep for a feed every 4 hours, I know some people think you should but Ella-Grace has a good sleeping pattern now. She sleeps through the whole night and I don't want to mess that up and confuse her sleeping pattern by waking her up for a feed. Through the day though, yes she gets fed every 4 hours. You can overfeed on formula and formula fed babies are likely to get worse reflux and trapped wind (from what I can remember the health visitor telling me) so you do have to be careful with timings and not to overfeed your baby when on formula, hence why I feed her no less than 3 hours apart. I also burp her half way through her bottle now as she can struggle burping otherwise.

Again I am not a medical professional and I am NOT trying to tell you how to feed/look after your baby, I was asked to write about how a new mum figures out feeding hence why I am writing this. This is my experience and opinion.

Fed is best...
Referring to the title of this post 'Fed is best'. I decided to title it this instead of 'Breast is best' or Breast vs Bottle' because my belief is that feeding your baby, whether that is breast, bottle or both, that is really what is best and judging anyone based on how they are feeding their baby is no good for anyone, including the baby. So whatever way you feed your baby, well done your doing a great job.

Short recap on my feeding experience...
My last full post on feeding I was exclusively breast feeding Ella-Grace with the occasional bottle night from her Dad. Wow, how things can change. In Ella-Graces 3 month update I mentioned that I am now bottle feeding, no breast. Just before Ella-Grace was 2 months old she was having really bad reflux, which progressed to her not keeping down my breastmilk.. at all! She would feed, spew, feed, spew.. a never ending cycle. We then found out she was lactose intolerant and decided to try her on lacto-free formula which worked wonders, still a bit of reflux but she was keeping her food down. I adored breast feeding Ella-Grace and once I had cut all the dairy out of my diet I tried to wean her back onto the breast but even with all the pumping I did, my milk supply had drastically reduced and Ella-Grace was confused/upset with the lack of milk and switching between two different feeding methods. This is when Reece and I decided, bottle feeding was the way to go. Disappointing for me aas I was very keen to breastfeed Ella-Grace for as long as I could but now we have been bottle feeding Ella-Grace for almost 2 months now I do not regret our decision. It helped Ella-Grace and Reece bond more and to be honest Ella-Grace and myself are 10x calmer and happier, our routine is going well and I think this has been the best decision for our family.

Unnecessary Judgement...
I have touched on this subject in another blog post before so sorry if I am repeating myself but again this was what was requested of me and I am more than happy to oblige.
So to put it plain and simple my opinion on this debate over bottle or breast is-not to be rude but- mind your own business. So sorry if that sounds abrupt but I just think fair enough you have your own opinion on how you think children should be fed but unless someone asks for your opinion, keep that for your children. Don't push it on someone else or make someone else feel bad if their feeding arrangement for their child is different to yours. I have first hand experience in being judged for stopping breastfeeding and I cant explain how much that hurt, I adored breastfeeding and if I could of I would of continued for a very long time but it just wasn't meant to be. I would prefer my baby to be happy and gaining weight on bottle rather than spewing up my breast milk and screaming non stop just because 'breast is best. Don't get me wrong as I have said before my opinion is yes, of course breast milk is best. Your body makes that milk specifically for your baby but that in no way means bottle feeding mums should be judged or called bad mums for choosing that route of feeding. We should all be supporting each other because do you know what really matters? Not how a baby is being fed and whether you view that good or bad but that the baby is just being looked after thats what matters, that we are all trying our best as parents and whether that baby is breast or bottle fed, that baby is loved and with all the awful things that happen in the world and all the rotten things people can do judging fellow mums based on feeding when we are all just trying our best is not only ignorant but so very unkind. Stop this unnecessary judgement, start supporting each other.

So....
So the next time you see a mum bottle feeding their new born instead of judging the fact they are not breastfeeding, go over and say hi- you might make a friend. Next time you see a mum breastfeeding in public and you see people making comments, don't join the snarky remarks-stand up for your fellow mother. Cause we are all just doing the best we can and as someone said to me once, if your worrying whether your doing the right thing, whether you are a good mum or not.. you already are one. Cause at the end of the day no matter how each baby is fed, I can almost guarantee that they will all be so loved and cared for and that right there is what matters.
So stop this silly debate, it shouldn't be a debate. Forget about 'breast vs bottle' and just support each other and spread love, you never know what that mum and baby have been through. Everyone has a different story, we just have to care enough to not judge the cover.

Till next time...
I hope that makes sense, I know I kind of rambled on near the end there. Thanks again for reading and all the support I have received, Why not leave a comment and let me know your feelings on this topic? How do you feed your baby? Till next time.

Stay Happy Everyone :) !

Mum Truths: Breastfeeding

The first instalment....
Hi readers! Welcome back to my blog, this is the first of hopefully many 'Mum Truths'. In this blog post I'm going to be speaking about the reality of breastfeeding, my experience anyways. The things you don't get told, the things you do and the things you don't realise until your actually the one with the new born latched onto you. I hope this brings comfort and a sense of relief to other mums who might be going through the same stuff and even if your situation with your child is or was completely different here is an honest experience from one mum to hopefully many others who are trying their best. So before I start, to all you mums out there- Your doing great!! Enjoy the blog!

Breast or Bottle...
So to be clear I am pretty much exclusively breastfeeding (at the moment) with a bottle of formula in the afternoon and occasionally in the night. This I have been told is called combined feeding or combination feeding.
When I found out I was pregnant I was sure I was going to ONLY breastfeed! 'Breast is best' 'Its the natural thing to do' everyone said from strangers to health professionals which is not wrong, this opinion I agree with breastmilk is made for the baby of course its good for them maybe even it is best for them but in no way does that mean its easy to do or that bottle feeding/combined feeding should be negatively looked upon. Not knowing about combined feeding, hearing how terrible formula was for your baby (untrue) and being so keen to breastfeed my naïve prgnant brain thought it will be easy right? No. Although luckily I have not had as big a problem as some others have had it is far from easy and comes with challenges as any mother would know who has breastfed. Now being a mum I can see that everything to do with parenting comes with challenges- breastfeeding, bottle feeding, sleeping, bathing ect. - and we as mums and dads are just trying our best to be the best parents we can be, so to all those parents judging other parents for bottle feeding or judging that mum for breast feeding in public, just stop. We all need to support each other and realise we are all doing our very best no matter what choices we make or opinions we have we all have one thing in common, we love our children.  Breast vs Bottle debate resolved now back to my experience.

Latched on straight away but then...
After my beautiful daughter Ella-Grace was born and we got to recovery I was lucky enough for her to latch on automatically! Hearing how much other mothers have struggled with this (hold my hands up to you ladies I don't know how you did it) I am very thankful I didn't have that problem! So yeah she latched on straight away and the first night we had together was a relaxing yet surreal night I will never forget. Things seemed to be going well that entire night and most of the second day, then the night came and things got stressful. Not having slept in about 48 hours I was tired and very emotional, obviously to be expected as I just had a baby and as everyone liked to constantly remind me MAJOR SURGERY (this is exactly how people said it to me hahaha) Ella-Grace was still latching but would continue to cry after being fed.
Being in a ward with lots of other mums and mine screaming I felt like I was doing something wrong (sounds silly now but that's how I felt). Reece came to visit us and we were both a crying mess, still to this day I don't know how that didn't scare him away being the first time he'd seen us both since Ella-Grace was born. Anyway so there we were Ella-Grace and I uncontrollably crying and Reece also being a first time parent not really knowing what to do then thankfully the most lovely nurse came in and offered a formula feed as she advised me that my milk may be taking a while to come in. Reece accepted the offer for me and although I had no problem with formula the exhaustion and crazy hormone imbalance convinced me that I was failing at feeding already how was I going to do this!!
Reece had to leave (which only made me more upset) and I was left with the nurse cup feeding my little girl. I felt like a failure. And to this day I wish I knew that nurses name as she really helped me that night- helping me latch Ella-Grace on to get my supply going, leaving the buzzer close and telling me to buzz when ever she got too unsettled, positioning Ella-Grace in her crib in order to help her tummy, giving me advice and continuously checking on me to make sure we were both okay. Although it didn't stop me from being a complete emotional wreck it did help having someone I knew could help me.
I learned 2 important things that night that have stuck in my head.
1. The second night is always the hardest. I got told this by the midwife and several other mums, the first night your full of adrenaline then the second night the responsibility, exhaustion and hormones hit you and stress is at an all time high. But guess what? The second night ends and the next day begins.
2. Almost all babies have at least one cup feed in hospital. I was not a failure because of a little bit of formula and neither of course is any other mum that has to have their baby cup fed. It was at this point I decided to combine feed with a bottle in evening as it gave me peace on mind knowing that if she wouldn't/couldn't take from my breast at least she would be used to formula. This being a good decision given my situation at the moment which I will get into soon.

Back home and the first month...
The third day after I had Ella-Grace we were sent home! Nervous about being a mum and looking after her but looking forward to being in my own environment we set off home. That first night at home Reece really came to my rescue I was so exhausted and emotional I could not function properly. I feel guilty even saying that as I am not the priority, the baby is but as they say you cant look after someone else unless you look after yourself so that's what I had to do. Reece, my hero took Ella-Grace for a few hours and bottle fed her so I could sleep so when I got up after my first proper sleep in days there he was bottles sterilised and baby fed and fast asleep, if your reading this babe that really helped. An amazing dad from the start! So after this and up to now I have been combination feeding with no more than two bottles a day usually just the one in the afternoon. And apart from the normal breast feeding problems (sore nipples, constant feeding and soaking through breastpads ALL THE TIME) breastfeeding has been going well! Until about two weeks ago when a problem cropped up which might change the routine we have gotten so comfortable with.

Lactose intolerant...
Ella-Grace is now 6 weeks old and about 2 weeks ago she started to projectile vomit up all her milk, mostly after her formula but also after my breast milk. I spoke to my mum and the heath visitor about it and we came to the conclusion that she was lactose intolerant as I was as a baby. For those who don't know Lactose is a type of glucose that is in dairy products and I think (not a medical professional so don't quote me on this) there is some in breast milk but not a lot, and this is what my baby girl is allergic to. This means we had to switch to a lacto-free formula and I am now on a dairy free diet, originally I tried to cut down thinking it might help her grow out of it but she was still a bit sick so I have just boycott it entirely. So for the last two weeks after cutting that out and switching formula we haven't had any problems but today, the exact day I am writing this ironically, she has started to projectile vomit after breastmilk but not formula? Even though |I have cut out dairy? So that's the next challenge I am on and that is as far as my breastfeeding reality goes thus far.

Recap...
So to recap on my experience.. Latched straight away, breast milk production delayed, cup-feed leading to combination feeding, good few weeks of breastfeeding, lactose allergy appeared and now only processing formula. I have the health visitor again this week so hopefully find out the problem but who knows maybe breastfeeding will work out but maybe I might have to just feed her the formula which is something I never thought I would do because of the whole 'Breast is best' which I used to be so sure of but you know what things change and all babies are different and sometimes breast isn't best, what's best is whatever your baby needs/wants and as long as they are being fed that's what matters! So there it is my first 'Mum truths' blog post I hope you all enjoyed it thanks so much for reading and Ella-Grace if in the future you read this thanks for sleeping the entire time I typed it out haha. And again for all you expectant mums, new mums, experienced mums and not to forget the lovely dads your all doing a great job!!

Next time...
My next 'Mum Truths' will be on the topic of baby blues which will also include me talking a bit about my anxiety and panic disorder which obviously had a bit of a part to play in my baby blues and experience of becoming a new mum. I hope you will all be back to read it and that it might help someone going through similar things- as I always say that's the aim of my blogs, to remind people they are not alone and make a difference in this world we all call home.

And remember Stay Happy Everyone :)!