Ella-Grace's 6 Month Update!

Sorry its late...

Hi there readers! I hope everyone is doing well and welcome back to LauraJane Life! Today I will be writing my baby girl, Ella-Grace's 6 month update! She actually turned 6 months last week and I had said I was going to have the update up then but life happens, I was very busy and to be honest it is hard to find time to write now with Ella-Grace being awake a lot now (will tell more about this below) and when it gets to the evening I am shattered, I can barely get in time with Reece never mind writing. But not to worry her 6 month update is finally here and I am hoping to get back on track, hopefully scheduling time so I can write a post once a week. We will see how that goes haha. Happy Reading!

Ella-Grace's bit...

"Hi everyone! It's Ella-Grace again. The past 3 months since my Mummy wrote my last update have been so much fun! I have learnt so much and tried new things like food.. proper food not just my milk! Mummy has helped me get into a good routine and we have lots of fun everyday, at home and at our groups where I get to see all my friends and sing lots of songs! Daddy still works lots but he is always home to give me a bath and do my bed time routine, his days off are the best ever! Daddy is so funny! I love having Mummy and Daddy home with me, they are great and the three of us have so much fun! I love being tickled, swimming, bath time, music, playing with my toys, watching Moana, Paw patrol or Thomas the Tank Engine, bouncing in my bouncer, rolling around and eating yummy food! I don't like afternoon naps (they are boring) and I don't like banana, it is yuck! I will let my Mummy tell you the rest!"

How has it been 6 months?!...

Our baby girl, our precious Ella-Grace is 6 months old! That's half way to 1 YEAR old! I just can't believe it. Becoming a mum is the best thing to ever happen to me and I am so proud to be the Mama to such a wonderful little girl. She has made mine and Reece's life so bright and happy, there isn't a day when she doesn't make us laugh and we are constantly mesmerized by her massive eyes! Although I am scared for the future -the world isn't always a kind place and I think for every parent that is a scary thing when bringing up children- I like to think if I do the best by my little darling, teach her right and always show her how loved and important she is, she will always see the good through the bad. As her first Halloween, first Christmas and first birthday are now in the near future I am looking forward to cherishing every moment. The past 6 months have been magical (and of course difficult but she is so worth it).

Feeding...

I am not going to go into too much detail for this one as my last blog post was all about weaning and her feeding routine so that pretty much covers it (find it on my homepage if you would like the full weaning story so far) but I am going to write a small summary and things we have tried since I wrote that post. Well we decided to start slowly weaning at 4 months (which I know isn't for everyone but it has worked wonders for our little girl so please respect our decision) and now being 6 months she has 3 small meals a day as well as her lacto-free formula. We have decided not to give Ella-Grace meat as we do not eat it and we buy plant-based milk which she will eventually be given instead of formula, which we would of been doing anyway even if we weren't a plant-based milk family as she is lactose-intolerant. Again not for everyone but we are happy with our decision and she is thriving on it. 

I make all her food at home apart from her fruit pots (Organix) and she is also enjoying her wafers (Kiddilycious). This week Ella-Grace has tried a few new things that I never got to mention in the weaning blog post, this is including strawberries, tomato, toast, peanut butter, banana (which she hated) and hummus (her favourite, which is great as it is a great form of protein!). I am so happy with the way her weaning is going she is always willing to try new things and most of the time will eat it- apart from banana, like her Daddy she does not like it haha. For her full meal plan please see my last blog post, it has changed a bit since adding hummus and toast to some of her meals but it will give you the main idea.
-Just to add she literally just tried Mushroom Soup and loved it!- 

Sleeping...

Oh how lucky we are! Ella-Grace sleeps all night! From 8pm to 6 or 7am. I am so sorry if you are a mum or dad reading this dealing with a baby who cries all night (I take my hat off to you) but I am being honest, she sleeps all night. She has been doing this for a while now, ever since we moved her into her own room at 5 months old. We wanted to wait till she was 6 months but she has grown out of her small cot in our bedroom and it was like she was telling us she wanted to be in her big crib as she started to wake up more often in our bedroom. So we tried her one night when she turned 5 months and since then she has been out the whole night (with a little help from her favourite Moana, we always play the songs to help her sleep). 

Napping during the day however is a different story. She was in a great routine with her feeding and her naps and she still is but when it gets to about 3pm, after her second solid food meal of the day. She refuses to nap! It has only been like this for a few days so I am hoping she will go back to her normal sleeping routine soon but yeah she has been refusing to nap and it will take me at least 2 hours to get her down, usually after moving her from her bed to the sofa to mine and Reece's bed and blaring Moana as loud as I can. If we are out and she is in the pram she could probably nap but this is usaully the time of day we are back home after our groups in the morning so I just have to keep going until she falls asleep- most likely in my arms. This can be hard but at least she sleeps at night that's the main thing for me and I am hoping this afternoon moodiness will blow over. 

Teething...

She has no teeth yet but oh yes teething has definitely started! We have a few things we use to help her teething (let me know if you would like a blog post on this) and they seem to work quite well but we are just waiting for the teeth to actually come through as I can see when I look at her gums that there are definitely a few teeth just waiting to pop out. Not much to say about that at the moment. 

Development...

3 months might not seem like a lot of time Adult wise but oh my goodness a lot can happen developmentally for a baby in three months! Ella-Grace can now roll over, sit up unaided, pass toys from one hand to another, bounce very actively in her bouncer, feed herself to a certain extent and the best thing of all... she says Mama! At first I think she just said it as a noise but then I noticed she started to say it when I put her down or when we were doing something she didn't want to do- getting dressed for example- so I do think she knows that I respond to Mama but not necessarily that its me. Either way it is very cute and Reece is very jealous she hasn't said 'Dada' yet. 

We are still working on the crawling, she doesn't seem to have much interest in it. Everytime I put her on her belly she just rolls over. We will keep trying though. She does seem a lot more interesting in walking however, she always wants to stand up and seems to try and walk when I am holding her up. So that one is a wait and see. She is doing so well for 6 months anyways and the health visitor and doctor is happy with how she is doing. We also took Ella-Grace swimming for the first time when we went down to Newcastle which is her new favourite thing to do! Our little water baby!

Bonding...

Amazing! Not much more to be said, the bond I have with Ella-Grace is amazing! She literally is my best friend, there is no one I would rather spend my time with and she literally makes me less anxious even if parenting is one thing I get anxious her smile makes it better. The way she says Mama and kisses me in the morning, I can really see now how much she loves me. It is just the most magical feeling when your baby shows affection to you. 

Reece's bond is just as strong. As I said in the last update it is a different bond as she gets to miss him when he goes to work and you can really see how happy she is when he walks in the door. When he is home it is like she is aware that he could go to work any minute so she really wants her Daddy and loves to play with him. Both our bonds with our daughter are great which I think shows what a great bond me and Reece have as well, the three of us are a really good unit. Love my little family.

Allergies and Illnesses...

So if you have read previous blog posts you will know Ella-Grace is lactose-intolerant and struggles with eczema. Both of which are managed and she is doing fine. The past week we have also realised, like her dad, she has an allergy to dogs. The doctor said it can't be confirmed as they would not put a baby through a blood test for that reason but judging by her reaction around my mums dogs it is likely she has an allergy to that type of dog at least. Time will tell whether it is an allergy to all animal hair or just dogs. Ella-Grace also suffers with hay-fever, which again is managed. All these things could potentially mean she has asthma as well according to the doctor especially as Reece has asthma too but again only time will tell, she currently has no symptoms of being asthmatic. 

My poor baba lots of allergies unfortunately but still a very happy and content baby. 

As for illnesses, we are lucky and Ella-Grace has not been ill apart from for about two weeks now she had a cough but we took her to the doctor and they said she was healthy just had a tickly throat and to give her cough medicine. We have been giving her that and her cough has seemed to settle. 

Hopes and Fears for the next 3 months...

For the next three months I hope that Ella-Grace will learn how to move around, what ever way that may be. Crawling, shuffling, whatever I just can see she wants to move about and I would love that for her but we will just have to wait and see. I hope weaning continues to go well and our little darling stays happy, healthy and content. I guess I am hoping for a little tooth to pop through soon, will be so cute to see her with a little tooth haha. 

I don't have much fears for the next few months apart from the constant fear I am not doing this parenting thing right but as long as she is growing and staying healthy, I know I am doing a good job! 

Till next time...

Thank you so much for reading! I will try get the next blog post up soon, not sure what that will be. I would just like to add that this is my 30th blog post (I can't believe I have wrote 30 already!) and I want to thank everyone for the amazing support! See you soon everyone, don't forget to follow my social media pages for daily baby pics, inspirational messages and blog updates. To finish off here are some of my favourite pics of the pregnancy, birth and life of our amazing Ella-Grace so far....

Be kind to each other and as always....

Stay Happy Everyone :)! 

From Bottle To Baby Food: Our Weaning Story So Far

Back to the baby…

Hello lovely readers! I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend, today I am going back to the baby, my baby Ella-Grace. By this I mean the past few blog post’s although related to Ella-Grace (when you’re a mum everything in your life is to do with your baby right?) they have not been focused on her or her development entirely. She turns 6 months tomorrow (gone so quick!) so I will be doing a full blog post on everything to do with my darling daughter (feeding, sleep, development ect.) but before that this blog post will be on weaning. Something I know a lot of the mum’s that read my blog’s have been waiting for me to write. So I will just get straight into it shall I? Happy reading!

Feeding so far…

I have done previous posts on Ella-Grace’s feeding (you can find all my posts on my homepage) and if you want to read them first you can but if not here is the low down. I breastfed Ella-Grace for 8 weeks and had to stop due to her not keeping my breastmilk down, losing weight and what we later found out to be a lactose intolerance. From then we got prescribed a lacto-free formula to give her. When she turned 4 months old we started slowly weaning her onto solid food. Letting her lead us to what she was ready for (not full blown baby led weaning but we let her show us what she did and didn’t want to try and how much food she could take if that makes sense?).

Ella-Grace's Meal Plan...

Before I get into how we started Ella-Grace on solid foods and what we gave her etc. I thought it would be good to write down exactly what her meal plan is at the moment (at 6 months old) for anyone who might want to know. I know a lot of my fellow mum readers like to read my experiences as they are going through the same thing so I thought writing down her meal plan might help or interest some of you, so here it is. 

7.00am- 240ml/8 ounces Aptamil Lacto-Free Formula 

8.30am- Breakfast: Weetabix (1xbiscuit mixed with 90ml/3 ounces of formula) 

                               1 x Orangix Fruitpot

11.30am- 240ml/8 ounces Aptamil Lacto-Free Formula 

2.00pm- Lunch: 2x Organic Fruitpot 

                          2x Kiddylicious Wafers

5.00pm- Supper: Homemade Mashed Veg

                           1x Organix Fruitpot 

                           1x Kiddylicious Wafer

7.00pm- 240ml/8 ounces Aptamil Lacto-Free Formula 

-We also try to give Ella-Grace water from her sippy cup with every solid meal....this is a working progress haha- 

Why 4 months old….

Now I know this can be a touchy subject. I actually didn’t know that until I seen on Facebook people getting very angry at a mother in the media over starting her baby on baby rice at 4 months old. This being exactly what we chose to do with Ella-Grace and personally I don’t see what is wrong with it, in fact I see it as a good thing. I understand everyone has their own opinion though so if you disagree or did something different with your child I respect that, every baby is different please comment below what you did I love to discuss different parenting decisions. However if you are going to comment negative things or be disrespectful (which I know the people in my little kindness community wouldn’t do) then please just exit this blog here. Cause that is not my vibe.

Anyway, back to what I was saying, why 4 months old? Well partly due to influence of those around me who I knew started their babies at 4 months and they were all perfectly happy and healthy children. Also because I felt that if she was going to be fussy with eating solids the earlier you start (within reason) the longer you have to get them used to taking solid food meaning you wouldn’t feel like they weren’t getting what they need when they are older. Lastly I knew my style of parenting if I had tried her with the baby rice in the morning and she didn’t want to take it I would know she wasn’t ready and stop. I would never force her to be weaned early. But in Ella-Grace’s case she took to solid food like a duck to water and at literally just 6 months she is doing really well.

The start- 4 months old…

A few days after Ella-Grace turned 4 months old we decided to start her with baby rice. From what I researched it is good to start slow instead of a lot at once as in start weaning one meal a day such as breakfast then the bottles/breastfeeding the rest of the day then eventually adding lunch etc. Which was my plan already so it just reinforced what I already thought. So we bought baby rice, our hope was to get a kind of porridge we could make with her formula (for example banana or some kind of fruit porridge) but with her being lactose intolerant and Reece and I preferring to use plant-based milk anyway such as rice or soy milk (let me know if you would like to hear more about this) it was difficult to find a porridge for 4 months that did not contain cows milk. So baby rice is what we went for. I know people say ‘it has no nutritional value’ but adding the formula to it she is already on... it then has nutritional value and the main thing for us was it helps her get used to solids.

So yes we tried her with baby rice. At first she was a bit curious as to what the spoon actually was so we let her hold it and kind of explore it for a minute then put some baby rice on the spoon placed it near her mouth and as I said she took to it really well. Not quite understanding it was food I guess just something new and trying to suck it off the spoon to start with but she ate a good amount of mouthfuls, we were very proud (and it was THE cutest thing I’d ever seen). I could of cried.. well okay I did cry haha. 

About two weeks after her first experience with food she was doing well having the baby rice for breakfast in the morning and bottles the rest of the day and we felt she was ready to try something else. We decided fruit would be best. We then purchased organic fruit pots- blended apple, banana and pear. And again she took to this at breakfast (along with her baby rice-very hungry baby) very well. So that was breakfast established we also tried to give her a fruit pot at lunch but she didn't take that so well so we pulled it back to the one meal. This being what I mean when I say I am trying to let her lead us, I feel we have a good bond and although she cannot tell me with words what she does and doesn't want or is and isn't ready for I feel I can communicate with her in other ways and I just know. Any other mums or dads feel this way? Like you just know your baby and feel you can communicate with them almost? I am probably sounding crazy haha but it seems to be working so far. So yeah by this point we we had breakfast down and bottles the rest of the time, then she turned 5 months old and we tried something new. 

5 months- Introducing Veg and Establishing 3 meals...

I feel that in Ella-Grace's 6 month of life (so from when she turned 5 months old) she progressed so much with everything. Will go into everything in her 6 month review soon but as in food I will go through this now. So we tried her again with fruit at lunch she still wasn't really loving it at that time of day so we pulled that back and decided maybe a meal at the start and the end of the day (before her last bottle) would make more sense to her. We started off tryng her with a brand of baby food called 'Babease' organic and meat and dairy free, perfect for our little angel and after getting used to the new taste in the first few mouthfuls she again took to that very well. We used this brand for about a week at supper time until my dad- Ella-Grace's Granddad (or as we call him Pops)- kindly bought us the same hand blender he had which works a charm for making pureed veg for Ella-Grace (link below to the blender I use). I firstly pureed carrots and butternut-squash and from there just pureed any veg I had in the flat and stored it in the freezer in small storage pots I purchased for weaning her (again all links below). That was her then having baby rice and a fruit pot for breakfast, bottles through the day and veg puree followed by a fruit pot at night. From this she advanced in her food very quickly as she now had got the hang of being spoon fed and understood that a bowl and spoon as well as a bottle meant food. So whenever we put anything on a spoon she was eager to try. Meaning not long after establishing breakfast and supper it almost came natural to her to take food at lunch time (fruit pots) then bottles in between then followed by trying wafers. Wafers are technically 6 months plus but with her being advanced in her food and on the packet saying you can offer them to younger babies AROUND 6 months we decided to try her- this being the most recent food we have tried her on which again she took to very well we think biting something has helped her teething also. All this leading to her meal plan above. And that's you all caught up! 

The Hardest Things About Weaning So Far... 

I know I have made her weaning sound all nice and dandy, no problems but of course their has been difficulties and bumps in the road. I would like to meet the baby who doesn't have them. Although we have had an easy time as in Ella-Grace hasn't been super fussy in trying the food or spitting it out ect. we have had other hard times with her weaning. 

1. Wanting only her fruit pot. 

For a while she loved her veg and don't get me wrong if Chef Mummy gets the veg combination right she can't get enough of it but recently she has gotten her head around her routine. Meaning she knows veg is followed by sweet fruit pot, so she tends to get a bit fussy with the veg putting her face to the side after a few mouthfuls knowing I will give her fruit. But I persist as I know she can and will eat it until she does eat it. Unless she got really upset then obviously it would be for a different reason but as I have said I feel like I just know when it comes to her food habits. So yeah somedays she eats her supper as normal some days she tries to out smart me and get the fruit pot first/instead, this can be a little difficult. 

2. Refusing water 

We have almost resolved this problem not as I always add either coconut water or normal water into her food and we have not replaced her sippy cup with a free-flow one instead of the one we have that she actually has to suck to get water out of but yeah this is still a bit of a challenge. Although she has taken to solid food really well giving her water to drink with her solid food has been difficult. Even when offered in a normal bottle that she drinks milk from she seems to refuse water (maybe doesn't like the taste I am not sure), not matter at what point we offer it to her- before or after the meal for example- it doesn't matter she just refuses it unfortunately. Because of her bottles and obviously all her food having some water in it she has never become dehydrated but has had a cough due to a bit of a dry throat. This as I said now improving but yeah was a frustrating problem. 

3. Biting too much wafer 

This is a recent difficulty that has cropped up. Well I don't know if it is a difficulty or if I am just over protective/scared but when feeding herself wafers she tends to bite off too much, I then while the part she bit off is still partly out of her mouth take it out and break into a smaller part before I place it back in her mouth for her. Part of me thinks I shouldn't be doing this as I don't want her to be put off feeding herself obviously and I know Reece is a lot more chilled about this than me. I panic. But I always think I would rather her take longer to feed herself than risk her choking. Maybe this is more of my problem than Ella-Grace's haha. I guess I need to find the balance. 

4.Wanting to eat too fast

This has always been a problem but one that is getting better slowly. Obviously when a baby drink a bottle or from the breast they can just keep drinking until they want to stop but when being spoon fed you need to take the spoon away put more food on it and give it back to them to have more. Ella-Grace thought when we took the spoon away from her we were in turn taking food away from her so she would get upset. Now she understands we will give her food again but she wants us to be faster. I am actually giggling imagining her face she just sits with her mouth open until the spoon comes back with more food haha. Tiny bit impatient which can make her frustrated but she does still take the food so its not a massive problem just sad seeing her get worked up. Getting better though so that's good.   

Feeling Confident...

I know everyone weans their baby differently. At different stages, with different foods ect. Of course all babies are different the same things would never work for all babies of course. Because of this I know a lot of parents can find weaning stressful and worry whether or not they are doing it right, whether or not their baby is getting enough and you know, all the endless worries. Googling 'Weaning' 1000 times. But I personally feel quite confident in the way our daughter is being weaned and what our plan is for her future diet. I encourage other parents to be confident with what they want for their babies, remember that you know your baby best and don't let other people's comments make you doubt yourself. If you want reassurance please reach out to a medical professional they will be the best people to help you. 

I spent a lot of time recently being anxious over what we were feeding Ella-Grace and whether or not she was gaining enough weight, getting the right nutrients ect. My self-doubt being increased as a lot of people disagreed with the fact we have chose to not give Ella-Grace meat and that we choose a plant-based form of milk, butter, cheese ect. Almost leading to me changing my mind (which is extreme as that would be a massive lifestyle change for me and what I had wanted for my daughter). Thankfully I spoke to those who support me and most importantly my health visitor who reassured me what I was doing and what I wanted for Ella-Grace is perfectly healthy, full of nutrients and that she is/ will continue to thrive. Gaining a KILO over a month of solid food. I am not going to go into the ins and out's of why we don't eat meat (Me not at all, Reece occasionally)/choose plan-based milk and why we want that for Ella-Grace as I just see it as a choice we have made just as eating meat is a choice however if you would like to hear about that let me know and I would be more than happy to write about it. I will say that we see this as the best option for our daughter and the health visitor more than supported us. 

So yes even with choosing a controversial (even though it shouldn't be) choice for our daughter I am feeling confident in her weaning so far. Confidence is key especially when it comes to parenting as so many things put you down.

If anyone would like to talk about weaning or anything I am more than happy to reply to your message (when I can). Remember your doing a great job!

What next?...

Well weetabix is something we have tried recently and is now what she gets for breakfast instead of baby rice, that transition was easy and I am glad as this has increased the nutritional value of her breakfast. Today as I am writing this we have tried hummus along with some veg at lunchtime (which we are now hoping for her to have every lunch along with her fruit pot). As for the future I am hoping to begin putting more in her puree's or what are more like mashed up veg now- more texture. Would like to add rice, maybe tomato, chickpeas, butter beans and more. After being told by the health visitor that she can have everything we have as long as it is blended/mashed into smaller pieces and softer textures the world is full of possibilities. I adore to cook so Ella-Grace girl you are in for some gourmet meals haha.  

Ella-Grace's Favourites...

Our little girl has taken to all her food well but some things she can't get enough of. These are the things that seem to be her favourites at the moment. 

1. All things blueberry 

This includes wafers and fruit pots. Both of those things her favourite flavour seems to be blueberry. 

2. Sweetcorn

Whenever I make a puree that includes sweetcorn she doesn't try to avoid it for her fruit pot she loves it.

3. Breakfast time

I don't know if this is her favourite food of the day but her breakfast is definitely her favourite time to eat. Either a morning person, loves weetabix or both. 

Links...

Here all all the links I promised through out the post. All the food I have tried Ella-Grace with and more. 

Babease baby food

Organix Fruit Pots

Braun Hand Blender

Clevamama Storage Pots

Till Next Time...

So that was quite a long post! I haven't done a long in depth one about Ella-Grace or what a parent has to go though in a while and I wanted to get all the detail in for you so that's why I have made it so long. Well done and thank you if you got to the end haha. 

Till next time don't forget to follow my social media for blog notifications and cute baby pics (links on homepage), check out my other blog posts if you haven't already and if you want to give my articles on baby gaga a read (latest one linked below). 

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Thank you for reading and thank you for being part of this kindness community I am trying to build. This will always be a place that loves and supports you! What is your babies weaning story? What age did you start weaning? What's their favourite food? Please comment below. I would love to know. Till next time my lovelies. 

Stay Happy Everyone :)! 

Kindness Spreads

Not the post I planned....

Hi there lovely readers. This week I have gained a bit more attention on my blog social media accounts (Got to over 200 likes on my FB page yay!) and with this I am hoping that means more readers! So before I get into today's post and how it is different from the one I had first thought I was going to post I want to say a massive WELCOME to anyone who is new to 'LauraJane Life' I am so grateful you want to join my little happy, kind and sometimes crazy community that I am building :). If you would like to check out my previous posts from everything from pregnancy and motherhood to anxiety and DIY, I try to put a bit of everything in my blog and there are lots more to come!

To the readers who have been here from the start/for a while, thank you for sticking around I really appreciate it and all your feedback is just amazing, you all inspire me so much! Which leads me onto today's blog post.

I was all ready to publish my post on weaning, I have been giving Ella-Grace small quantities of baby food since 4 months old and with her away to be 6 months I found it to be the perfect time to post it. It has been requested and don't worry it is still coming (hopefully tomorrow) but for today I was inspired my all of you to write today's post about kindness. Also my laptop is playing up AGAIN and my weaning post erased.. I just could not face typing it all up again just yet so to put me looking forward and my positive vibe going I am writing this post.

Something To Live by...

Kindness. Positivity. Love. Open-mindedness. These are the running theme of my blog and life. No matter what I am doing or writing about this is what I drive to always be and put across. Yes with my anxiety and panic disorder that can seem impossible sometimes and some may think those posts are negative but I don't because they always end on a positive happy note and for those who have been here from the start I am sure you have noticed that I always end my blogs with
'Stay Happy Everyone:)!' 
That's my little tagline because that is exactly what I want everyone to be, happy. 

I adore writing my blog posts, it makes me feel like I am making a difference to people's lives and hopefully making my daughter proud. Mummy is doing something she loves and is helping people. I am no where near writing my way to riches Zoella style but I have never done it for the money. I started it as a venting space for me and I like to think it has turned into a space for my readers to let go. Feel not alone, feel happy and feel comfortable. I always say I will make time to reply to readers if they need anything no matter if its my next door neighbor or someone on the other side of the world. I get immense support from my readers and want to give it back. 

Boost...

As a lot of things do my blog page goes through phases of lots of feedback and comments then a phase of not so much. Although I write it for myself a lot of the time when I write a blog post which I think a lot of people will love and then I don't get feedback I get a little disheartened. Then I get a message.. "This blog post really helped me" and then another "I feel like I am not alone". Specifically today I am not saying who it was obviously but I got a lovely message from a reader about a blog post that I seriously thought no one really liked which was fine because as I said it gives me a chance to vent and that is great. But hearing all these lovely things and how I am actually helping people through tough times whether that be in motherhood, mental health or just day to day tough times. I can not tell you how much that means to me. Positivity and love spreads and every day I am so happy I started writing this blog. 

Don't forget...

In the spirit of love and kindness I am going to place some quotes below that I think should always be put into action by everyone, everyday. My readers are kind to me and I am kind to them. The love and happiness that has been created in my tiny little community I am building is more than I could have ever dreamed of and it is something we- because this blog is as much my readers as mine- should be proud of. Now I encourage you readers, a little challenge for you. The kindness you show me, show it to someone else today. I know it can be easy to get wrapped up in what you are doing and your own life through the day. Trust me Ella-Grace keeps me on my toes and I am constantly in my own little bubble. But please try to make a difference. Smile at someone, compliment a stranger, help someone carry their bags, give your seat to the old man on the bus, stand up for the girl in your school who is getting bullied, offer your shoulder to cry on to someone you know is struggling. That is your challenge. And when you do it once, repeat it, repeat the s*** out of it -sorry for the language- because these gestures are what makes the world and the people in it less toxic. 

I know everyone has different beliefs and opinions but that does not matter at all! Just be kind please! Teach the next generation to be kind, be open-minded and be respectful to each other, respectful to animals and respectful to the world (people often forget this one, but it is most important. We live in this world, this environment and we should be respecting it). 

The love and kindness you have all shown me I am sure you already do all these things but in case you needed a little reminder or want to share this blog post on your social media to remind others, here it is. Kindness spreads, love conquers all and open-minded people change lives. Be the change. (I don't own these images) 

Till next time...

As long as my laptop doesn't malfunction again next time should not be that far away. I have the weaning blog post coming up as well as recipes, Ella-Grace's 6 month update, a cheeky fashion post and more. You don't want to miss it. 

As I am ended this post I have just heard their has been a terror attack in London. Devastating and making the message of this post even more important. Love trumps Hate. 

Thank you again for all the support I can't say it enough, please keep it coming. Like, share and comment feedback. What has been your kind deed of the day? Let me know. Remember to follow all my social media accounts to keep up with blog posts and to see some adorable baby pics (links on homepage). See you soon everyone and here comes my tagline.........

Stay Happy Everyone :)!

Anxiety Update: August Breakdowns but Positive for September

IRONIC!

Before I start I would just like to say that I just finished writing this post and was just about to publish it then it all erased and now I am starting again... Oh the irony of how venting this to help my anxiety actually could give me so much of it because of it being deleted LOL! Back to the actual blog post. 

Back to basics..

Right Guys, I'm going back to basics for this blog post and letting my thoughts/feelings take over, so sorry if this post is a bit ranty (not a word haha) and random. I love all the content in my blog but for the past few blog posts I feel there has been some blurred lines. Most of you know as well as writing my personal blog I am a freelance writer mainly for BabyGaGa.com. Because of this I feel that my most recent blog posts although interesting and still me, sound a bit too much like articles which is not what my blog is about. I started my blog as a venting place for me and for other people who might be able to relate to my experiences to not feel alone. So that's exactly what I am doing today, venting! I need it! August was a particularly anxious month for me, I didnt talk about it at the time as I was dealing in it in my own little way but now I am in a better head space I can let it out, I know this is the majority of my readers favourite things to read and you all love how honest I am so hopefully you won't mind this back to basics rant. 

Whats been going on and how I've been..

So at the start of August, right before my birthday which is the 5th, I could feel that my anxiety and panic disorder was starting to play up. I knew this because I was starting to get stressed about little things, get short tempered with Reece (sorry babe) and it sounds weird but its almost like this feeling of tension comes on me and I feel constantly not relaxed. 

-Side note for those who want to read my full anxiety and panic disorder story please feel free to go to that post then come back here for the update- 

Anyways, yeah I was feeling this constant anxiety again and I knew that was bad. Although being a mum obviously comes with stressful times, Ella-Grace always keeps me busy so that actually helped because I would have no time to overthink all the little things that my anxiety brain was pestering me with (thanks for keeping mama sane baby girl, kisses!) Then Reece comes home, Ella-Grace goes down to sleep and I start to get very anxious, evening/night is always the worst for my anxiety in my experience. Night time equals overthinking time. I started to overthink about all the things I had to do: tidy and clean flat, have a bath, write articles ect. or the main thing my anxiety tackles now: my mothering ability. Which is crazy since I just posed a blog post about how I know I am a good mum but that is just the thing, anxiety is NOT your friend and makes you think irrational things which get you very down. Anyways all this lead me to be very anxious. I haven't been this way with my anxiety since way before I was even pregnant with Ella-Grace apart from baby blues but even that was different to just my anxiety playing up. So this almost felt like a test. Would I resort back to the dangerous ways I used to do to deal with my anxiety or would I keep strong and deal with these feelings healthily. Thankfully I am proud to say I kept strong and dealt with these mini breakdowns well. IMPROVEMENT YAY! In no way does this mean it was easy but I got through it. 

So when I was overthinking yes there were tears, yes I had to just sit and breathe through it some nights not getting the things done I would need to get done. But I was dealing with it and coping. Reece could also tell obviously that I was having a tough time but he knew I was doing okay so it was all good. 

Then the first major panic attack hit and that was the real test.

First big panic attack..

When I used to have panic attacks I would pace, cry and hyperventilate.. and that was a minor one! As for big ones, OMG! I would not wish that on anyone. It feels like everything bad that could possibly happen to you is going to happen to you in that moment (impending doom) and you just can't function! So as I said how would I deal with a major panic attack now after all this time. Well I found out, unfortunately it had to be on my birthday. 

So anyone who knows me (Reece tells me all the time haha) I am a bit of a control-freak and I love routine and planning. But when your 21st rolls around so things aren't the normal routine and surprise celebrations are happening meaning I didn't know about it or could prepare, my anxiety was bound to be a bit wobbly. I mean I loved it, surprise party was amazing and I am so grateful! But my anxiety brain, no no no she does not like! 

It was the morning of my birthday. Reece and Ella-Grace woke me up and gave me gifts and cards. I had breakfast and had a bath, things started off happy and chipper like a birthday especially your 21st should be. But then it changed. 

My hair and make up didn't look how I wanted and for some reason Reece and family were trying to convince me to get dressed up (now I understand it was for the party but at the time I thought we were just going to my mums so I said no and was getting frustrated). Getting more and more stressed now I started to have a panic attack. Saying things like "Why is everyone trying to get me to dress up", "I have no time to change now", "Everything is going wrong", "I look ugly, "I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone", "Worst Birthday Ever!". All these things of course not true and writing that now makes me cringe and I feel so guilty I ever said those things. Poor Reece had gone to so much effort to make my birthday morning happy and (unknown to me) plan a surprise party and here was me having a panic attack and snapping at him. Must be hard to deal with for him too. I am so grateful and never take anything for granted but when your in that negative head space, it just feels like the end of the world. I am just lucky Reece understands to just let me get it out my system and that I am actually really grateful. 

I tried to cheer myself up and make happy memories by getting pictures of me and Ella-Grace but my anxiety kept telling me I looked dreadful. Although I eventually cheered up, the party was great and the amazing fiance Reece is he sneakily packed an outfit for me to wear (honestly adore him) that birthday will still be tainted. That's the thing about anxiety is ruins even the best times. Focusing on the good parts helps and I aim to stay positive but it does bug me, I wish I could of just you know NOT had a freak out. 

And the second panic attack...

A few days after my birthday Reece had planned for the three of us to have our first family trip down to Newcastle! It was an overall fun trip but of course anxiety had to show her face and my 2nd major panic attack of that month took place.
It was our second evening in Newcastle and after a bit of shopping we thought we would take Ella-Grace back to the hotel room for a nap and I could quickly get changed (into the new outfit I just bought) for my birthday meal that we were going to that night. We had heaps of time so we were also going to go to the museum. A great plan right? Not when anxiety is involved.
Makeup looked good, Ella-Grace was napping. All was well. But then my outfit didn't fit and all I had with me was what I was wearing (which Ella-Grace had managed to make a mess of) and a casual shirt that I brought with me (which was nice but we were going to a fancy restaurant and for once I wanted to be able to dress up and look nice). Reece being the calm and rational person he is simply suggested "Why don't we just go back into town now and you can pick another outfit, get changed and we can carry on with our plans?" Great idea, but I was already having a panic attack. "I can never look nice", "You and Ella-Grace should go without me", "I've ruined the holiday", "We have no time now!" All these things I was ranting at Reece for about an hour, pacing the hotel room. Getting upset just thinking about it. Reece went to all the trouble to plan our first family trip and here was me having a panic attack over an outfit and although I know I can't help it and Reece understands I feel like I must be so hard to be with.

-Had to stop writing got too upset. Reece reassured me I am not a terrible fiance. Now I'm back- 

Anyway, after freaking out for an hour and a half I forced myself to go into town but now only time to go to the shops for half an hour before our meal.  I ended up doing exactly what Reece suggested in the first place.. ugh! So frustrating!
Of course we had a lovely time but again my anxiety tainted the experience and left us with less time to do the things we wanted to do. It really is a struggle sometimes and I really wish I could just snap myself out of these panic attacks but unfortunately I can't.

Improved but not perfect...

I am proud of myself because I did not resort back to the dangerous ways I used to deal with my anxiety. Although waiting out my panic attacks can mean I am feeling anxious for longer, when it is over I feel so much better instead of feeling better for 5 minutes followed by more anxiety. 

I still have a long way to go and I am going to meet with my doctor to discuss these panic attacks soon as I do want to improve more. I hate some of the things I say when I am incredibly anxious ad I wouldn't want Ella-Grace to hear me say anything negative. I want to be her role model and by fighting my demons I hope that is what I am being. 

But focusing on the positive I am proud of how far I have come and if I am ever feeling anxious when it is just me and Ella-Grace I am proud of the fact I can just fight through and put on a smile for my little girl, being her mum is top priority and I know even with my anxiety I AM doing a good job (can tell I am not anxious right now or I would be saying the opposite haha). Staying positive, staying strong and I will get there eventually. 

Positive for September...

Not letting my August breakdowns keep me down, I am looking into September with a positive mindset. Yes I am sure I will be anxious (it doesn't go away) but I will get through it and things will only get better! So far I haven't had any anxiety or panic attacks so that's a good start! Ella-Grace turns 6 months old this month, that is amazing! She definitely keeps me going and the support I receive from my darling Reece is amazing, so lucky to have this little family! Happy September hopefully!! 

-Proof-reading this as I finished it the other day and I just had a panic attack. But still positive! Try again tomorrow!-

I'm happy you don't get it...

To the people who think I am being dramatic or attention-seeking. The people who don't understand. Good! I am so happy you don't understand I would never wish the feeling of a panic attack or major anxiety on anyone because it is horrendous! But please respect those who do deal with it because trust me it is real even if it is not your reality. 

Advice...

For those who do relate and are maybe going through a tough time with anxiety, panic attacks, depression or another mental health issue. You are strong and will get through this tough time! From my personal experience this is my advice.. 1. Seek help from your doctor. This is scary I know but they are there to help and see this more often than you think. They can put you in contact with groups or therapists that could help you. All totally optional of course but please just reach out. 2. Make sure the people around you are positive and don't make you feel worse. You need a good support system in place. If they give you negative vibes and refuse to change to help your recovery, I am sorry but cut them out your life! You need to be happy and healthy and some people unfortunately can be toxic to that. and lastly 3. STAY POSITIVE! Yes its cliche and easier said than done- I have the most wonderful little human in my life and even I struggle to stay positive but looking at her little smile gives me hope and keeps me strong- it is possible. Find the something that makes you happy, positive and gives you a glimmer of hope and cling to it. Whether it be a person, an animal, a hobby or an object. Positive is key. Your presence in this world is important, never forget that!! 

Till next time... 

And the rant is over! That feels like a massive weight off my shoulders! Thank you for reading as usual, I hope you enjoyed reading my anxiety update. Until my next blog post why not read my latest article (link below) and don't forget to follow my social media for updates on my life/lots of cute baby pics! (links on homepage). How was your August? Stressful or Chilled out? Comment below.

10 Things That Happen To A Babies Body That Is Normal And 5 That Aren't 

Stay Happy Everyone :)!