Second Trimester

Second Trimester over already...

What?! How am I now in the third trimester! As I am writing this I am 34 weeks pregnant, just 6 weeks to go until baby 2 is here (roughly anyway, it is 6 weeks till my due date who knows if baby will arrive on time, early or late). When I was pregnant with Ella-Grace it felt like I was pregnant forever but this time round it has just flown past. I am so ready to have baby 2 with us, it is so exciting but at the same time I am really trying to enjoy the last part of pregnancy because I do not plan on doing this again. 

In this post I will be talking all things second trimester (weeks 13-28 of pregnancy). From feeling better, then worse to going on a little baby moon and an unfortunate hospital visit (not to worry it all turned out okay) everything will be explained in this post. 

13 week scan and saying no to Down syndrome test...

So, kicking off this post with my 13 week scan. This was supposed to be my first scan/booking scan but if you read the previous post about my first trimester of my second pregnancy you will know I had an emergency scan at 11 weeks. That scan turned out fine thankfully and so this was my second scan. Having the scan at 11 weeks I was not nervous for the 13 week scan, I was just very excited. I went with Reece and Ella-Grace (the hospital said it would be better to get a baby sitter for her when we went to the scan but our friend ended up being sick so we ended up taking her last minute, they were very understanding however). 

The scan went perfect! Baby was growing as expected, the placenta and cord were fine and my due date did seem to be correct. I did have to do a little wriggle to get the baby in the right position for the sonographer but everything, like I said, was fine. 

Something I should mention is that Reece and I decided against testing for down syndrome. This test involves a blood test and the sonographer measuring the fluid under the baby's neck (nuchal translucsancy) on the scan. Although they do still measure this if you decide not to test for down syndrome they do not tell you what the measurement is and they do not put on your medical records anything about the measurement or test, it is just routine. 

The reason we decided not to have the down syndrome test this time around was because when we got it done during Ella-Grace's pregnancy for us it did more harm than good. This is just personal preference, we are not telling anyone else how to handle this situation or what tests to get, we just felt for us second time round this would be better for us. 

As some of you may know, Ella-Grace was 1 in 5 of having down syndrome. Her nuchal translucancy measuring too big at the first scan and the blood test came back with her being 1 in 5. From this we had no further testing 1. because we knew if she had down syndrome that would not change the way we feel about her and 2. The tests were invasive meaning they did hold a slight risk to the baby and even possibly losing the baby which we did not want to risk. Through out Ella-Grace's pregnancy the 1 in 5 of down syndrome statistic came up a lot and I was even asked early on if I wanted to terminate the pregnancy (again this personally was something we were not comfortable with and never even crossed our minds). Although the pregnancy was straight forward pretty much we were constantly reminded about this 1 in 5 risk and it made bringing Ella-Grace into the world a bit more stressful than we wanted. One of the first things that a midwife said when Ella-Grace was born was 'she doesn't look like she has down syndrome by the way' which I understand is what she may thought we wanted to know but in that moment all I wanted was to feel happy and have congratulations, I felt there was plenty time to talk about that considering she was healthy when she was born. Anyway so this time round we knew that the result of a downs syndrome test would not sway our decision to continue with the pregnancy, we would once again deny invasive testing and we wanted to avoid the stress and so we said no this time round and do not regret it. If you want to know more about my first pregnancy you can go back and read those blog posts. 

So yes that was (officially) my first scan, a lot more stress free than my first pregnancy and it was a very special family moment. 

Week 14, sickness subsiding...

FINALLY! After being very sick in my first trimester, definitely more so than I was in Ella-Grace's pregnancy, I was finally starting to feel better. No more sickness tablets and now gaining back the weight I had lost. Food aversions were subsiding too and I was managing to eat full meals. Thank goodness because we were now on the run up to Christmas. Getting my appetite back, starting to get cravings and feeling all round more energetic. 

Cravings and Christmas...

Ella-Grace's second Christmas, mine and Reece's 7th together (first as a married couple) and our last as a family of three; it was the best Christmas yet!

Ella-Grace got loads of presents from our loving families, my Dad made a very yummy Christmas dinner (vegan for us of course). We stayed at my parents from Christmas till New Year and it was such a lovely time, always my favourite time of year. 

While we were there I also experienced some of my first strong pregnancy cravings, some of which were quite strange. For example I was craving pickles, ice cream and mustard? Not together but I would eat them relatively close together. In my Mum's words 'your clearly pregnant' haha. I am so glad my morning sickness subsided in time for Christmas and it is fair to say that I made up for all the food I didn't eat in the first trimester over Christmas- I ate so much! 

New Year, our second child will be born this year...

Like I said we spent New Year at my parents house and on New Years eve I turned 18 weeks pregnant- almost half way through my second (and most likely last) pregnancy. 2019 was here, the year our second child would be born! Things were getting even more real and more exciting! 

20 weeks pregnant = half way...

As tough as the first trimester was it really went in a flash! I could not believe I was 20 weeks, half way through my second pregnancy already. At this time one of my best friends was coming to the end of her pregnancy with her first baby (picture above is me all dressed up for her baby shower) and so there was lots to celebrate. 

20 week scan...

For my 20 week scan my Mum came with myself and Reece. My mum played a big part in my first pregnancy and accompanied me to many scans (for those who don't know Ella-Grace's middle name is Angela, which is my Mum's name) and so it was important to both of us that she get to be involved just as much in this pregnancy. And so, this was a lovely moment that she got to come to a scan for the first time this pregnancy and not just any scan but the 20 week anatomy scan! 

This pregnancy has differed in so many ways to my first pregnancy, one of them being the amount of appointments/scans I have had. With Ella-Grace they found a hole in her heart when I was 19 weeks pregnant and so I was getting scanned by a Dr every other week to check if it was a heart problem or if that part of her heart was just taking a little longer to develop; luckily we had the positive outcome and Ella-Grace was fine. This made me slightly more nervous for this scan in case this baby also had a hole in their heart but there was no such hole, everything was developing as should and so we were sent on our way with another scan not until April (at this point we were in January!). So strange not having more scans when I had so many with Ella-Grace but relieving that this pregnancy is going well so baby doesn't need checked on as often. 

Such a lovely experience and it was so lovely to see our little baby for the third time! 

More cravings...

Of course most women get a lot of cravings when they are pregnant, for me it was more I wanted to eat the same meals ALL the time. This is not like me usually, I like to make something different every meal, every day, give myself and Ella-Grace (and Reece of course but a lot of the time he is at work) variety in our diets but for a while I could only cook/would only want to cook the same meals. These were either baked potato and salad or pasta with green pesto and sun-dried tomatoes- don't forget the sundried tomatoes! Reece was not happy with the fortune I was spending on sundried tomatoes hahaha. I was also craving fizzy sweets for a snack- which is so weird for me because when I am not pregnant I do not have a sweet tooth at all but apparently when it comes to pregnancy, both this time and last time, I love sour sweets! These can be hard to come by vegan but our local shop had a big pack of fizzy sour dinosaurs on offer and they were vegan- these I could not get enough of! 

While on the topic of cravings I often get asked if I ever crave anything non-vegan and if I did would I indulge in it? My honest answer is no I don't, for example if I crave a burger I will crave a bean burger. If I was to crave something non-vegan I would definitely not have it for both moral and health reasons that most of you will know from my other blog posts/instagram. I would find a vegan alternative to solve that craving. 

Bump popped at 21 weeks...

At the start of pregnancy you obviously don't have a bump so I expected that but everyone told me you get a bump sooner second time around. I got to 16/17 weeks however I didn't think I looked that different apart from my post-partum mum tum and a bit of bloating. 21 weeks is when my bump clearly popped. It was really interesting because when I was pregnant with Ella-Grace I had a bump at 16/17 weeks and although this time I did get a bump at this time too as I mentioned I felt like it still looked more like a 'mum tum' until I got further on, not that there is anything wrong with a stretchy mummy tummy (I love mine) it is just interesting how a woman's body looks different with each pregnancy. As you can see in the picture above 21 weeks was definitely when I popped and bump was most certainly there for everyone to see, making it all that bit more real if it wasn't already!

Feeling faint followed by food poisoning...

The first trimester sickness may have passed but as February rolled around, just as I was celebrating my Dad's 60th birthday, sickness came back with a vengeance. 

Firstly, around this time (22/23 weeks pregnant) I had started feeling very dizzy and if I got up to quickly I would feel as if I was going to faint. This was then followed by severe stomach cramps and sickness! Not food aversion sick or anything to do with pregnancy actually but more like a sickness bug which was just my worst nightmare. With no idea what it was I consulted the doctor who tested for a few things and it turned out I had food poisoning! I was prescribed anti-biotics and my symptoms improved quickly! I am just glad baby was not affected! Gutted I couldn't stomach much of the yummy food at my Dad's 60th though haha. 

Baby name dilemma...

This will most likely be brought up in each pregnancy update until baby is here because this is one dilemma that I do not think will be solved until baby 2 is in my arms! That dilemma is baby names! 

As I explained in an Instagram post, we had Ella-Grace's name picked out before she was born. Pretty much as soon as we found out she was a girl we picked her name and that was that. This time round we decided not to find out the sex of the baby (not that I think this matters because no names really belong to a specific sex, this is just what society has convinced us) and we also decided not to officially name the baby until he or she makes their appearance. We did however want a few names we liked picked out, this has been a challenge to say the least! I like VERY unique names (such as Journey, Bravery, Lavender, Wednesday) and Reece is more mainstream (Bethany, Cody, Joey), so finding names we both love is hard! One minute we will have a few we both like and the next minute we will both change our minds and hate them all! Perhaps baby 2 will be called just that.. baby 2... or one of us will have to cave! Only time will tell... 

Kicks getting strong...

By 24 weeks pregnant I had been able to feel baby for a long time, since about 16 weeks, but it was now that others could really feel him or her move! Reece was feeling kicks frequently and even Ella-Grace managed to feel one or two when she kept her hand on my belly long enough (although I don't think she really knew what it was, but she would say 'baby kick!'). 

All very exciting and a lovely bonding experience for the three of us and bump, connecting as a family of four already! 

My mum and sisters also felt the baby kick a few times which was nice. If only they stayed pleasant little kicks, soon enough they began to be painful which I never experienced with Ella-Grace. Either this baby is stronger or my muscles are just ruined from last pregnancy, who knows? Worth it for my beautiful second child. 

Ella-Grace understanding more...

The further a long in this pregnancy I have gotten, the more Ella-Grace has started to understand what is going on.. as much as a 2 year old can anyway. She loves to hug my bump, kiss my bump, sing and talk to bump and ask me all about the 'baby' in my tummy. It is so sweet! 

Through this and her understanding on what a baby is she has become very interested in playing with her baby dolls, looking after her little friends like babies and reading books about being a big sister. This is so sweet to see and although I am sure she will have her jealous moments when baby is here I do think she will thrive as a big sister and take on a caring role (or at least try to). So yeah, baby 2 even if your big sister annoys you she does love you so much! Even before you entered the world. 

Pelvic pain and more...

I am so grateful to be pregnant again and to be able to carry a healthy child but that does not make it easy and the further a long in this pregnancy I get the more I realise that (symptoms wise) I had it pretty easy in the first pregnancy. As I neared the end of the second trimester some not so fun things kicked into gear including pelvic pain, insomnia and braxton hicks contractions which don't hurt but they are very uncomfortable. Unlike when I had these with Ella-Grace, this time round it has felt that whenever I do anything that involves moving I get a braxton hix contraction. My midwife has suggested that perhaps I have an irritable uterus and to take it easy but when you have a toddler at home that is just not possible sometimes. So these symptoms were not so fun and they have only kicked up from there but I am getting a head of myself. 

Baby moon...

Now to stop the moaning and talk about something fun. Reece and I went on a little baby moon! Our two close friends got engaged and so with our other two friends we travelled down to Edinburgh for one night (my Mum took Ella-Grace for a sleep over) and celebrated. This was the first time I had left Ella-Grace since the honeymoon (that was extremely hard for me and I think made my separation anxiety worse) so I was very nervous but she had a great time with my Mum and it was nice for Reece and I to get dressed up and have some time to ourselves and with our friends before baby 2 arrives and we never get peace again hahaha. We also got a cute photo out of it so that's nice. 

Low fetal movements and fast heart rate...

Unfortunately when we arrived back in Aberdeen after our short trip to Edinburgh I barely got to see Ella-Grace for an hour before I was told to go up to the hospital due to baby having reduced movements. I was just about 27 weeks at this point, entering the third trimester with a hospital trip, not ideal. Once I got to the hospital baby started moving again thankfully (midwife said the travelling may have thrown baby off) but the heart rate was high so I was kept for an hour for monitoring. Heart rate was still on the higher side but not to the point where it was worrying so I was let away home. A scary experience but on the up side my close friend had given birth to her first little one less than 24 hours before this and I got to go up and hold her sweet baby and congratulate my friend. Good ending to a stressful experience. Made me all the more excited to have baby 2 here too. 

Weeks 27-28...

And so that brings us to the last week of my second trimester which was pretty uneventful. So all I have to share is a bump pic. This trimester was by far the easiest of all three (which is usually the case) although it did come with it's challenges. 

Third trimester post coming soon ...

And so that was my second trimester. I am now well into my third trimester and have so much to tell but you will all have to wait another week or two for that update and then before I know it I will be writing my birth story! Although these last few weeks feel like they are dragging, this pregnancy has seemed to go by in a flash! 

Thank you for reading...

As always thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed hearing all about my second trimester. Please feel free to comment below any experiences you are having or have had with your pregnancies, are they similar to mine? Lets start a conversation. Hope to update you all again soon on the rest of my pregnancy as well as posts on how Ella-Grace is doing and more. So much to write but this pregnant mama also needs her rest so please bare with me. Thank you all again for following my blog and I will speak to you all soon. 

Stay Happy Everyone! :) 

My Pregnancy Journey. (Part 3)

The Last leg of the Journey...
Welcome back readers! Thank you so much for reading this far, I hope you have all enjoyed reading about my journey just as much as I have enjoyed writing about it. An emotional rollercoaster pregnancy I have had but wouldn't change it for the world, I just can't to have baby girl in my arms finally! So to recap, the last two blog posts covered finding out I was pregnant to around 20 weeks pregnant (go read if you would like to catch up before reading this part!). In this final pregnancy blog post I will be writing about the last 20+ weeks of pregnancy and what me and my partner experienced during this time. Like life is, these weeks had its ups and downs but HEY we are still here going strong and looking forward to bringing our baby girl into the world by the end of this week (Induction scheduled for tomorrow woo!).

Scans, scans and more scans...
Weekly scans now, checking up on that hole in the heart and keeping track of baby girl's anatomy. I would like to take this moment to thank the doctor we had in the hospital for these weekly checks, since we had quite a bad experience at the first scan we really appreciated the way this doctor was with me especially. Helped me keep calm through my nerves. So a few scans had past each seemed to be a bit more reassuring than the other as baby girl's anatomy had been growing as normal and the hole in the heart although still present seemed to be getting smaller, healing hopefully.
For people that may not know when they are checking the heart on a ultrasound scan carefully they can put on a setting which shows the direction of the blood flow through the heart, in turn being able to see if the blood is going in and out of the right chambers/crossing over properly etc. (excuse my lack of medical terminology, it has been a while since I did my biology exam) So yeah checking this each time we had a scan it was a relief for us seeing that everything seemed normal and the hole had not caused miss-direction of blood flow as if this happened it could have been a completely different and fatal problem, we feel very lucky to have experienced this as we know some parents and their babies aren't that lucky unfortunately.
So between 25-30 weeks (cant remember exactly what week sorry) the doctor gave us the all clear to begin growth scans instead of anatomy scans, YAY! The baby's hole in the heart seemed to have healed but the doctor did let us know that scans can only be so accurate and baby girl may require to have a scan on her heart when she is born as well as other tests to check for down syndrome since she was high risk and also blood was to be taken from her umbilical chord due to my blood being O-negative, this though we had been told was easy to treat through medication and only a problem if our blood mixed. I feel I should mention there are other signs in the scan that can indicate down syndrome but none were found, these signs only being present in 50% of babies who have down syndrome so even though they weren't found in our scan she was still classed as high risk hence the extra after birth checks she will be having.
The checks after birth were not a worry for us, of course its not ideal no one wants their baby to have to undergo lots of tests you just want to cuddle them and protect them but we were just so happy that she was looking healthy enough to actually get to the birth part it could have been so much worse. We were so happy for the three of us, things were looking up!

Stressful events over yet?...
So I think it would be worth mentioning that while we were getting the weekly scans and obviously our biggest concerns were the baby and her health other big decisions and stressful events had occurred making things just that bit more difficult. I wont go into to much detail as I could take up a whole other blog post but here are the significant parts. Reece and I had some trouble with our new landlord, as nice as he was he was not ready to let go of his house and we felt more like the house was just that a house not a home, not the best when you are going to bring a baby into the world. We found ourselves missing the previous two bedroom flat we had, it was so much better for us for so many reasons (better landlords, more homely, we were free to decorate, better area, more shops, could actually get signal on our phones.. just to name a few reasons). Thankfully we were able to get our old flat back in the end and the landlords even agreed to take the rent down because they the same as us missed having us occupy the flat, so much to thank our landlords for its unreal! Life is so much easier when you have a great relationship with your landlords!
Another thing we had decided to do due to the baby and moving AGAIN was postpone our wedding (originally meant to be this year now going to be next year). This being difficult for us as we had a lot of it planned out already and we really wanted to be married but at the same time love is love no matter the circumstances and we didn't need a bit of paper to show us that we loved each other, I'd like to think anyone who met us could see that we were head over heals for each other. We knew we could get married whenever, the main focus was making a good home for the three of us and making sure baby girl had everything she needed before anything else. So that was that moving again and wedding postponed two very big decisions that happened at the same time as the constant scans checking on baby, lots of worry but we got through it! End of the stressful events right? Unfortunately no.
So by 34 weeks we had, had one other growth scan which went fine, nothing to report our baby girl was beautiful and healthy. But then we got the second growth scan accompanied by an appointment with the consultant and they found what was written in my notes as a red flag. Baby girl's estimated weight was on the small side as well as her femur bones measuring significantly smaller than her weeks. The sonographer kept her cool making us feel like it was not a big deal but her concern must of been shown in the notes as when we went up to the consultant she felt the need to remind us that we had a 1 in 5 risk with no invasive testing being done. I said I was aware of this and she nodded, circled "Small femur measurement" and left the room. I already knew what was meant by this but Reece was confused. While she was out the room I explained to Reece that a sign of downs syndrome being present was small estimated weight (her being 4 pounds when she was meant to be 5 1/2 pounds +) and also a short femur measurement, I knew this through the endless amount of googling I had done on pregnancy and down syndrome signs. Although many people tell
me not to google things or that its a bad idea I find it keeps my anxiety at bay being informed on everything and anything I could be. The consultant came back in and said that she had consulted with other doctors and they had agreed that it is not a massive worry at the moment but that it was something that they wanted to pay extra attention to in the next scan, subtly letting us know that it was a sign that they would look out for by again saying 'your baby is 1 in 5 of downs and at 20 years old this is very rare'. We left the scan happy to see our baby again but now worried about her more than ever, comforting each other with a tight grip of  each other's hand the whole way home and that night for the first time it was Reece that needed comforting. More than happy to return the strength he had given me over the years we spoke about everything, cuddled in bed with our little life and eventually we drifted off to sleep.

The final weeks...
Following this scan I had a midwife appointment, this being the third or fourth different midwife I'd actually seen due to all the moving and delayed appointments because of the switch of practice. The final midwife I had and still have now was lovely and bubbly but at this appointment I got a very serious tone from her setting alarm bells off. After all the normal checks, she asked 'are you nervous since you are 1 in 5 of downs?' and to that I answered not really, I'm excited and keeping positive. The midwife heard this and seemed to be very surprised '1 in 5 of down syndrome, so young, this is very rare.. I don't want you going into hospital unprepared for what might happen'. To the midwife's defence I think she meant this in the nicest way possible and was just trying to warn/prepare me for the checks and possible lengthy hospital stay ahead but I felt so anxious in that moment right there, a sudden feeling of oh my goodness my baby is so ill everything is going wrong! I smiled when I left but as soon as I was gone I was on the phone to Reece overwhelmed.
Luckily I had learnt over time how to keep my anxiety at bay and avoid full blown panic attacks but I do have a tendency to get a bit obsessive when over thinking so when I got home at the end of the day I spent hours searching everything on downs syndrome birth experiences and other mothers stories but unfortunately no amount of social media posts, blogs, YouTube videos, google searches or inspiring stories could stop me from worrying!
Since this appointment slowly I started to get less anxious and more content with the situation and again Reece and I were more excited than worried. With every strong kick in the ribs I got being a reminder that she was okay. I could almost here a little voice along with each kick saying 'Mum, Dad I'm fine in here! Stop worrying'.  Weeks passed heartbeat looked strong, each scan even though estimated weight being small there was still significant growth so the consultant went from alarmed to accepting she was just a small baby and her femur bone length could just be a result of me being smaller height than average. Finally all positive news! The first time Reece and I had felt like a run of the mill, no problem pregnancy rather than the HIGH RISK PREGNANCY of such a young couple. Baby girl was so close to being here now (I say 6 days overdue still no baby in my arms haha!)

Good times are here...

So from 37 weeks onward things were just getting better! My maternity pay had started finally after being delayed, we had prepared everything for baby girl, had an amazing pregnancy photoshoot thanks to my talented sister, baby showers (yes multiple, I have the best people in my life) and to top it all off Reece FINALLY landed a job he had wanted after a year of gaining experience.. this meaning more money for us as a family and an overall pretty perfect life, everything coming together all we had to do was wait for this baby girl to get here! Little did we know we would still be waiting at 41 weeks.. maybe I should of ate more spicy food who knows (old wives tales ah the disappointment they bring haha)! And that's it the end of my pregnancy journey, on the blog anyways I personally still have a possible few days left of carrying baby girl.

That's all folks...
For those of you who actually made it to the end of this blog post, sorry I know it was a long one but didn't want to miss any detail, thank you so much for reading and I hope you have enjoyed reading my journey. My pregnancy has been above all memorable and certainly worth while, I am beyond ready for baby girl to be here and hopefully she will be here before the week is out if the induction goes successfully tomorrow (Wish me luck!!). I would like to thank my fiancé, friends and family for supporting me I am blessed with some amazing people in my life and can't wait for you all to meet little one. Till next time everyone, thanks again hope to be introducing baby girl to you all soon!
Stay Happy Everyone :) !

My Pregnancy Journey. (Part 2)

Recap of Part One...
Hi again readers, I hope everyone is enjoying my posts so far. Welcome to part two of my pregnancy journey, if you haven't read part one in it I went over the first 12 weeks of my pregnancy including how my partner and I found out I was pregnant and the amazing yet stressful experience we had at our first scan. So yeah if you haven't read Part one I recommend you do before you read this one if you are interested :) In part two I'm going to write about the significant events of the second trimester and the experience my partner and I had during this time, I'm hoping to make it a bit of a lighter tone than last time but as everyone knows life isn't always perfect and tough times happen so as usual the post will be genuine and truthful. The good, bad and the ugly as they say. So here it is.

Second Trimester begins...
THE SECRET IS OUT! Finally I don't have to keep my beautiful miracle a secret anymore and I can enjoy taking growing bump pictures and sharing them with anyone I choose. This took a lot of my anxiety away thank goodness and even though we didn't have the best experience at our first scan the photo reminder that baby was alive and kicking was so reassuring. Along with our joy though was the worry about little one's down syndrome risk, again neither of us minded the actual chance of her having downs it was more the fear of being able to look after a child with a disorder of which would have different challenges to what we originally expected. We just wanted to be the best parents we could be and if baby was to have down syndrome we would want to be prepared. So from this we read up about the disorder and decided to get in touch with a friend who's son has down syndrome, this though helpful in the sense of what to expect when baby was here the pregnancy experience was slightly different to ours as no risk had shown up on our friend's scan and instead she had found out her son had the disorder at birth. I was very grateful for this information but still unsure what to do about my own situation and whether or not to get more invasive checks (amniocentesis or CVS) to confirm or reject down syndrome being present.
Still uncertain we decided to wait for the blood results to come back and sure enough about a week later we got a letter.. "Dear Miss Bethune, we are writing to inform you that from your blood tests we can confirm your baby has a 1 in 5 risk of having downs syndrome" the situation had suddenly gone from slight chance to a high risk and a decision needed to be made even though I think we had already made our decision. No to invasive tests.
Invasive testing for us was too much of a risk, with both of the tests involving injecting into the womb leaving a chance of miscarriage it just was not worth it. I would much rather not know whether or not our child had downs syndrome and have her be born into the world for us to love rather than interfere and end up losing our bundle of joy for a definitive answer of something that made no difference to us. On top of this I don't think my anxiety could handle losing a child, I would of spiralled back into panic attacks for sure and as a couple we knew we would love and take care of baby no matter what the situation so again it was not worth it to us. Obviously this is our own view NO judgements on people who choose invasive testing, its an individual choice and experience this was just what we felt was right for us. Tough decision for anyone to make.
So 14/15 weeks pregnant at this point, 1 in 5 risk of downs syndrome and no invasive testing. Leaving us with the unknown of our child's fate of having down syndrome of which we will find out at the birth (which as baby girl is still not here.. 5 days over due now... we still don't know what the future will hold). Reece and I were okay with this though, almost relieved just to know the chances and be able to continue on with our lives and looking forward to the birth. I mean no point stressing if you wont know the answer till the day right?- rich coming from someone with anxiety who stresses over nothing but hey sometimes I try take my own advice haha- So that was that.

Hole in Heart?....
So the weeks were passing I had another midwife appointment at my new doctors practice (had to change due to the move of address). The two main things that happened at this appointment were that I was reminded of the 1 in 5 risk, again being asked if I wanted invasive testing to which I gave the same response and also my history with anxiety was discussed with me and as I was doing better (off my medication) the PMHA (Prenatal Mental Health Team) were happy that if I was struggling I would notify them. This I was very happy about considering how much I had struggled in the past and to hear someone say my significant improvement wouldn't affect my pregnancy or my ability gave me a sense of confidence and peace.
Because of the 1 in 5 risk of downs syndrome we were recommended to have scans every two weeks , the first one with a sonographer went fine all looked good but for a more in depth look we were put to a doctor for another scan which is when things changed.. our little wriggler was perfect in our eyes but sadly now at 18/19 weeks we are told she has a hole in her heart.
This time I managed to hold back the tears and as Reece and I held hands we listened to what the doctor had to say. She said that a hole in the heart was common with downs syndrome babies but the hole in the heart that is usually expected with a downs syndrome baby would of been in the bottom chamber where as this hole was in the top so it could just be a developmental delay and it is possible it will heal itself over the next few weeks.
Slightly reassured, slightly worried, slightly shocked. All these feelings went through my body at once. Scans were now changed to once a week, special monitoring by a doctor.. Scary to say the least but we had faith our baby would pull through it and lucky for Reece and I we were able to stay strong together. Credit to him he is a rock, without him I'm almost certain my anxiety would of taken over and panic would of set in but I had his calm vibe and strength to keep me going. Reminding me of another reason why I am so lucky to have him as my partner and father of our baby girl. He's asleep right now but when he wakes up he will probably be reading this.. Love you darling.

ITS A GIRL....
Hole in heart detected and now weekly scans by a doctor, not the most positive experience but the doctor was lovely and to keep us in high spirits we decided to book a gender scan (which we got twice as the naughty baby decided to be difficult the first time) and also to our surprise we got a 4D picture with this scan also.. that was amazing!!!!! So yes 20 weeks pregnant and we find out that our little bundle of joy is a GIRL and also has the cutest button nose, clearly seen in the 4D scan. Magical moment. One of my favourite memories of this pregnancy was Reece saying he loved the thought of having his "Two girlies"... makes me smile every time :) So although yes there is the 1 in 5 chance of down syndrome and a hole in baby's heart SHE (as we knew this now haha) was still alive and if she was as stubborn as her two parents we knew she would be fine and so we continued to look at the positive. The weekly scan's in the hospital then began and that is where I shall leave part two.


End of Part Two.
Another emotional post here, amazing for me to look back on the experience and write about it. Hope you enjoyed reading it, the final part of my pregnancy journey will be up soon (depending if baby girl decides to make her appearance tomorrow or not). Thank you for reading, please feel free to leave a comment.
Stay Happy Everyone :)!