The last blog post of the year...
Goodbye 2017 from LauraJaneLife. Don't worry I will of course be writing again when 2018 rolls around and I am sure between Christmas and New Year I will still be posting on my social media accounts but as for blogs and articles I am taking a little holiday in order to spend some much needed time with my friends and family. So this is the last blog post of the year and because of that I am making it a kind of summary of this year, a thank you to all the people who have been there in the good and bad times of 2017 and an insight into my hopes for 2018. Lets get started.
Rounding up 2017...
So 2017 started with Reece and I sitting on our sofa (Ella-Grace still in my belly at this point, I was around 30 weeks pregnant) knowing this was the year we would become parents, bringing our baby into the world. Now it is coming to an end and going into 2018 with our 9 MONTH OLD little girl (her update will be up after New year), looking forward to our wedding and her first birthday. It has been one amazing year and here are the reasons why as well as rounding up some of the things I went through in 2017.Ella-Grace...
First and foremost of course is Ella-Grace. On the 19th March 2017 she was brought into the world and it was definitely the BEST thing to happen to me, and Reece. It is so hard to explain in words how much I love her and how much she has enriched our lives, but I will try. Before Ella-Grace I was happy but always dreamed of being a mum, felt like something was missing. When she came into the world yes, baby blues was hard and the start was a struggle but our bond was and continues to be very strong. As time went on, her now being nine months old, she has made me the confident and empowered woman and mother I want to be. Everything I do I do better because of Ella-Grace, I want her to be proud of me, I want to set a good example, I want to teach her right. I want to be my absolute best for her. She is my best friend, my daughter, my reason for always striving to do what is right and what is good. I love her so so so so so much! And still that only explains 1% of how much she means to me. 2017 has been the best year of my life and ALL of that is down to Ella-Grace. I may have given her life but she has gave me a whole new outlook on life and my goodness I have never felt better. We take care of each other. You are my angel my darling and I know you can't read this yet but when you are old enough to, please know how deeply loved you are and that you are a blessing to me and your Dad. We love you so much.
My Fiance...
We have been together 5 and 1/2 years now and I am so thankful to have him as my future husband. This new year being particularly special as we are now entering 2018, the year I will become his wife. As always Reece has supported me through everything, made me laugh more than anyone else - yes he is slightly annoying BUT I wouldn't change him in anyway. And in 2017 we brought our child into the world which only made our bond stronger. Reece, you work so hard for me and Ella-Grace but never fail to spend time with us when you are home from work. You are the best dad and the best fiance, you have made 2017 a great year supporting me through the hard parts and being right next to be through the good parts. You are the definition of a partner, we go through everything together and always will. I love you very much.
Postpartum...
Everyone goes through postpartum recovery and to start with I am not going to lie, it was hard and painful. After having a c-section I struggled to move because of the pain just now getting to a point where I feel comfortable that my scar won't rip open when I move (it wouldn't of done that for a while now but it is nerve-wracking for a while). Weight wise I have lost what I gained during my pregnancy but I don't think it is the weight that matters, more the vast amount that your body changes. The stretchy skin on your belly, breasts shrinking, hair loss, skin problems. Lots of problems, It can be disheartening. But looking at my beautiful daughter, knowing that I gave her life, the most amazing thing a body can do. I am proud of my Mum body. I am confident with my non-conforming body. I want Ella-Grace to be comfortable in her body and love the skin she is in and that starts with me doing the same, Leading by example. Not meaning it is easy, sometimes I hate my skin and look at old photos of my body and think, I look so good in that photo, But that does not mean I hate my body now, in fact I love it more than I ever have, I am more confident in my body than I ever have been. So that is where I am now. (Side note: I think everyone should love their bodies no matter what, great if you want to loose weight, great if you want to gain some but always do it in a healthy way and you should never hate your body, We are all beautiful and should lead by example with this mindset for the next generation).
Vegan Diet...
Before I had Ella-Grace I was a meat and dairy eater like the majority of people but I can tell you right now becoming vegetarian/on my way to being full vegan, is one of the best decisions I have made and is another reason this year has been so great. A lot of people do not understand this which is understandable as we are fed information that we need meat, dairy ect. and I have been judged but I know the facts and I know what I am doing is right for me any my family. I had wanted to do this for a while and it was having Ella-Grace that gave me the push I needed as I needed to think, how do I want her to be raised? An vegan was what I wanted. I want her to respect animals, I want her to understand that their is a lot of injustice in the farming and dairy/egg industry, I want her to know that her living on a plant-based diet helps the environment we live in so much and that is very important. I cannot stress enough how important it is to look after our environment and I want Ella-Grace to also be an advocate of this. I feel healthier, happier and more at peace knowing that my food is not harming other living beings or the planet in which we live.
Anxiety...
If you had asked me 2 years ago how I was coping with my anxiety, I would of said I was on the edge of a complete breakdown, But now, although it is still there and I have bad times, I feel a lot happier and a lot more able to control my panic attacks and anxiety. At the start of the year when I was going through baby blues, panic attacks came almost every night and being a new mum was very stressful. But thanks to the support of my family, friends and especially Reece as well as just the amazing bond Ella-Grace and I have, I got through it. And from then on my anxiety has been pretty steady and controlled. Panic attacks do show up now and again but I have definitely got better control of them. Something else that helped this year on the anxiety side of things is that I have just started being totally open and honest about my struggles, writing about it on here as you will know if you read my blog regularly. This has been a big change this year as I used to hide my battles. 2017 has been the year to let me demons out and not be afraid of them anymore. I hope I have inspired some people to also be honest and open with their anxiety.
Writing...
13th March 2017, still pregnant (3 days past due date), with the support of Reece I decided to star my blog. I am so glad I did as it changed my life. Made me more confident, comfortable with myself, gave me a voice, helped me reach out and make connections with people all over the world and most importantly lead me to other writing opportunities which turned into employment. If I never started my blog I would be returning to work in January, but now I have the privilage being a work-from-home mum. I'm not writing/blogging my way to riches yet but that's not what it is about. I am working at something I love, in the comfort of my own home, not missing any moments of my baby girl and being able to provide for her through it. Keeping my identity as a person separate from my baby at the same time as her being a huge part of everything I publish. Yes it has hard times and getting that balance between time I need to work and time I spend with my family is hard (as you can see above I am often working with Ella-Grace on me- she loves to "help" haha) it is the best job I have ever had and who knows maybe one day I will be writing books. But that's a topic for another day.
Achievements...
- Giving birth : My birth experience may of ended up being a complete contrast to what I had planned but no matter what kind of birth you have, that is an achievement. I brought life into the world. I am proud!
- Raising Ella-Grace: Yes there are times when I get down and think to myself "I am a terrible mother" (that's usually when I am feeling anxious) but deep down I know this is not true and I know I am doing a great job. I am so proud of how I am raising Ella-Grace and how I have embraced motherhood. That is definitely achievement of 2017.
-Starting my blog: For as long as I remember I loved writing and I am so glad I started writing my blog! It was a personal achievement for me as it has made me more confident and open. But it is also an achievement because I have helped others through it.
-Getting my first paid writing job: I could not believe it when I landed my first paid writing job this year. Paid. For Writing. Yes, it is difficult but THE best job I have ever had. I am so proud of myself for getting this job and all the articles I have written this year.
- Starting a second blog with my friend: This is a recent achievement that I don't think I have even mentioned on this blog yet. My friend, Keely and I started a poetry and short story blog called "Let Us Tell You A Story". We have both wanted to do this for a while and that is finally done. Go over there now and check out our first posts.
- Cutting out meat and dairy: This is definitely an achievement and although I am still on the road to being full vegan, going from meat eater to vegetarian/almost full vegan in less than a year is quite impressive I think because once your used to a certain diet it is hard to change it. But I am so glad I did, feel healthier, happier and I know I am doing good in the world as I mentioned earlier.
- Being a good person: Don't know if that sounds big headed but I live by a certain set of morals: Be open-minded, be kind and be helpful. And I think this is something to be proud of as there are so much bad things in the world that you can be strayed and sometimes what is good means you have to go against the crowd which takes guts. I am happy to say I will always do what I think is the right thing to do, what is kind, helpful and non-judgmental. Setting an example for my daughter.
-Controlling Anxiety: Mentioned this one earlier but yes managing my Anxiety and panic disorder has definitely been a battle and I am so proud to say that I am winning. From being that 18 year old girl who would go to extreme, unhealthy methods to stop the anxiety to a 21 year old mother who is confident and even though of course I have slip ups and relapses but nothing like I used to have. I am winning, I control my anxiety not the other way around. This was a long fight and I am proud this year I have made so much progress.
- Body Positive: This is actually the first year 'lose weight' won't be on my new years resolution list. Whether that is because I have become more confident or because I adore my body that brought my daughter into the world I don't know but I am very body positive now. Which has helped with my anxiety and also has stopped me saying negative things which means my daughter won't learn to be negative about her body which I think is so important! In this society loving the skin your in can be hard but I am so proud I have got to this point. Embracing my mum bod.
Hopes for 2018...
- Happy. healthy family: Number one on my hopes for 2018 is of course for continuing happiness for my little family. Ella-Grace and Reece are my world and I want the best for them, that will always be my priority. I want to continue to be the best mother and fiance I can be for them.
-Another writing job: This would be great for us financially and good experience for me to gain and put on my CV. I hope to write a book in the future so anything that can help me get there eventually would be amazing.
- Wedding: Finally marrying the love of my life!! I cannot wait to be able to introduce Reece as my husband! Honestly so excited even if the planning has been stressful and expensive. The main thing is that there will be a day to celebrate our love. I would say I hope the day is perfect but as long as I get to be Mrs Webster at the end of they day and that Ella-Grace is a big part of the day, that's all that matters.
-First birthday: Ella-Grace is the best thing that has ever happened to me as I have said and although we were originally thinking of just having a tiny celebration, we can't help but want to have a semi-big party (sticking to a budget) as that is what she deserves. She is just amazing and I want to basically say thank you so much to her for blessing our lives and how grateful we are for the best year of our lives. I hope that we can make her birthday very special and that she has a great day.
- Blog growth: I love all of you readers, I never expected to even have minimal viewings on my blog never mind a moderate finding, building my own little kindness community and have messages from people all over the world on social media that can relate. In 2018 I hope my blog grows and reaches more people who may also be able to relate, who I might be able to help.
-Look into moving: I doubt we will be moving in 2018 but looking into it after the wedding would be great so we have an idea of what we want. And who knows maybe an extra bedroom would be good in case we ever have a brother or sister for Ella-Grace (definitely not anytime soon though, this is not a pregnancy announcement haha). Edinburgh here we come (hopefully).
Thank you, Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year...
So that's it, the last blog post of 2017! I can't believe this year is ending it has truly been the best year of my life. Thank you to everyone who has made it so great! From of course the two loves of my life, Reece and Ella-Grace who drive me to be my best. I love you two so much. Thanks to my parents, siblings, bestfriends who have been around for years, new mum friends I have met since having Ella-Grace, NHS staff that helped me bring my daughter into the world, my editor for giving me my first writing job, the lovely people who read my blog and send me lovely messages of support. Thanks to this planet for the life it gives all of us. I am so very grateful and blessed to have the life I have, it may not be full of fancy things but it is full of love and happiness and that is what really matters. I hope I have been part of what has made someone else's 2017 great. Have the best Christmas and the best New year. I will see you the first week of January for the next post! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Social Media
To keep updated with me over the Christmas period and to be notified of when my next blog post will be up please follow my social media. Linked above this blog post or on homepage. And here are some (by some I mean A LOT) of my favourite pictures of 2017 and for the last time this year....
Stay Happy Everyone :) !
