Our Breastfeeding Journey

A post many of you have been waiting for and one I have been very excited to write. I am now 7 months into exclusively breastfeeding and LOVING it (although it has come with its challenges of course). 
So, with my silver boobs badge on and new knowledge/experience of breastfeeding I hope to help other Mamas hoping to breastfeed. 

My thoughts on breast vs bottle...

Reece bottle feeding Ella-Grace

So, I guess we should start with the age old- somewhat controversial- debate. Firstly, I think there should be no 'VS', this is not a fight, we are all mothers trying to do the best for their baby and everyone's circumstances are different so no matter your opinion you should always support your fellow Mother. 

I have experienced both bottle feeding and breastfeeding and so I do believe I had a holistic view. 

Me breastfeeding Sunday

My opinion, and speaking truthfully is that breast milk is of course better. It is the healthiest option, the milk is made for your baby and speaking from an environmentalist stand point it is far more environmentally friendly than formula. There is no competition for the amazing antibodies in breast milk along with so many benefits for mother and baby. BUT this does not mean that bottle feeding is bad NOT AT ALL! There are women who physically cannot breastfeed or their circumstances mean they are unable to. Some women find it overwhelming, painful, mentally draining or simply do not want to. It is a Mothers choice and that should not be judged. Breastfeeding may be natural but that certainly does not mean it is easy and although I definitely think breastfeeding should be encouraged and more information should be readily available to pregnant women and new mothers I also support bottle feeding as in many situations it can save the lives of many babies and the mental health of a Mother. It is a choice only the Mother can make and she should be supported whatever she chooses. 

I would like to say also that many women mix feed or exclusively pump breast milk, which again should be supported. 

My past breastfeeding experience...

Breastfeeding Ella-Grace

My past breastfeeding experience was not positive and really I breastfed Ella-Grace for such a short amount of time I don't even know if I would call it an experience. I have spoken about it before on my blog but I will recap for anyone who does not know. 

From 2 days old Ella-Grace was mixed fed (formula and breast-milk). Before having Ella-Grace I was determined to breastfeed but once she was here despite latching perfectly, misinformation and lack of knowledge were my down fall. Cluster-feeding almost immediately I thought I did not have enough milk (so so wrong) and through my hysteric crying the nurse told me that 'all babies get a cup feed of formula in the first few days' (again wrong but I think she was just trying to help) so that is what we did. On the way home from the hospital convinced I had to mix feed and that I did not have enough breast milk I got my parents to pick up some formula for her. From then on she was mixed fed (having breast milk all day and one bottle at night) I was keen to take her off the formula and just have breastmilk but then Ella-Grace started being very sick when she fed and losing weight. I quickly realised that this was because of the dairy in my diet and that it did not agree with her. We managed to switch to a prescribed dairy free formula that she managed to keep down easily and although I tried to keep up the breastfeeding now no longer having dairy in my diet, that was not enough as the dairy can stay in your breast milk for up to 6 weeks. She would projectile vomit my breast milk but keep down her prescribed formula so to avoid her losing more and more weight we switched. From 8 weeks old Ella-Grace was bottle fed. I feel guilt about this now and wished I could have breastfed her for longer. 

My breastfeeding aims...

Pregnant again and now thinking about how I want to feed my second child. Breastfeeding was what I wanted, as the healthiest option and a healing experience as the first time round it did not go to plan. I wanted the breastfeeding experience I never got with Ella-Grace especially as I knew this would be my last chance as we did not want anymore than two children. I was determined to exclusively breastfeed this time and so I informed myself and set goals. First I wanted to get past 8 weeks (once I had completed that I would be further than I ever got with Ella-Grace), then 3 months, 6 months and finally a year. 1 year was the goal any after that is a huge bonus! Goals were set and now to see if I could meet those goals we just had to wait for our little baby to make her appearance. 

Ready, steady, breastfeed...

She is here!!! Latched on instantly! I was euphoric! A good latch (I had learned through my research on breastfeeding) was key to a good breastfeeding journey and Sunday went from womb to latched on so fast. Step one complete! Things got complicated at this point as I had to go to surgery but after a discussion with the midwives and doctors they were happy for me to take her with me to continue bonding and breastfeeding. This was key to getting us off to a good start to our breastfeeding journey so I fought for it. She was latched onto me the whole time in surgery (an insight into the future right there haha). 

The early days...

Now in recovery it was time to really focus on breastfeeding (I just wanted to clarify here that there was a lot going on with mine and Sunday's complications, recovery etc but for the sake of this post I am just focusing on what happened with breastfeeding). 

Hindsight is a wonderful thing especially when it is accompanied with increased knowledge. This was now my second time attempting to start exclusively breastfeeding and my attitude second time round was so different (even if I was still full of emotion and sleep deprived). First time round I was not informed and I think naively expected breastfeeding to just work out, I mean its the most natural thing right? I quickly learnt that natural did not necessarily mean easy. My lack of knowledge and the misinformation I had received made for a bad start first time round. 
Second time round however I was much more informed and much more confident. I did track how often Sunday fed, how many dirty nappies she was having etc (they give you a little feeding diary in the hospital) but really I just trusted my body and whenever Sunday wanted to nurse, I nursed her. That was my mindset from the get go. Sunday was born on Friday afternoon and clusterfed pretty much straight away, by Saturday evening my colostrum had turned to full milk (everyone's body is different so do not stress if this did not or does not happen for you, the early days babies need very very little).   

Going well...

The first few weeks of Sunday's life were stressful to say the least. In and out of hospital, I was sick and also suffering very mentally, Sunday had an infection, a lot was happening. Breastfeeding however was still going strong and I really think this is what got us both through the tough recovery. Breastfeeding obviously is amazing for both mother and baby's health but also for bonding. My mind was all over the place and so I felt guilty that I was not just enjoying my new baby and being in the new born bubble but thanks to breastfeeding the bond was strong and the smooth start to the journey was a light in a dark situation. 

Slowly we were recovering and breastfeeding continued to go well. I did experience a clogged duct and some nipple pain in the beginning which is not nice but we got past it. The early days/weeks while your body and your baby adjust to breastfeeding can be the most difficult but it certainly does get easier. 

Pumping and expressing...

Quite early on I started to pump/express breast milk. I was not planning on leaving Sunday any time soon I just knew I wanted a stash of breast milk in case I ever did need to leave her and also to give Reece a chance to feed her (which was great if I was in the bath and she needed fed- Reece could grab the bottle of breast milk and feed her). 

As time went on I pumped less (I just don't have the time) and now I just do it if I know I am going to be away from her which is very rare. I also thought pumping would help me keep my supply up but it is not a necessary thing to do for your supply as your baby is the one who will regulate that. 

Reduced milk supply scare...

When Sunday was around 4 months old I got a really bad tummy bug. Thanks to the amazing antibodies in breastmilk, Sunday did not get sick. I however was very sick and could not even keep water down- I noticed by supply slightly decrease and that was so stressful. Luckily I did have some stored breastmilk at this point so Reece managed to give her one bottle of pumped breastmilk but mainly I had her on me as that is the only way to keep your supply up- feed, feed, feed! Once I was better and eating and drinking again my supply went back up. 

Back on track...

Now back on track with my supply back to normal, breastfeeding was once again going well. Around when Sunday was 4 months old I felt my supply had regulated. I was no longer scared I didn't have 'enough milk' nor feeling painfully engorged if Sunday slept for a long time. It has seemed my body now knew how much milk I needed to produce for baby Sunday. Since then there is not much to tell, breastfeeding has become second nature. Some days Sunday is on me non stop and I can have times where I feel overly touched-just being honest- but I know it won't last forever, I will be so sad when she stops breastfeeding and for every 1 time I feel like its too much I love it 1000 times more. I love breastfeeding my baby Sunday, 7 months exclusively breastfeeding now and no stopping in sight. 

My worries and how I dealt with them...

Although I had done a lot of research and listened to other peoples positive experiences with breastfeeding before Sunday was born, I still had my worries. 

1. Is Sunday getting enough milk? 

I think most if not all Mothers have this worry when they start to breastfeed. I think it is because with bottle feeding you can literally see how much they are getting. I felt like this was a constant worry but what always made me feel better was asking myself these questions.. Is she very unsettled? No. Is she getting wet and dirty nappies? Yes. This on top of reminding myself to trust my body and trust my baby, this worry was soon gone. 

2. Leaving her and how it would affect my milk supply

I was petrified of leaving Sunday because I thought that leaving her too soon even just for a few hours would greatly affect milk supply and we would end up formula feeding which is not what I wanted. I planned to not leave her at all until she was at least 6 months old but around when she was 3 months old my sister was turning 30. I had helped plan a night out for her and wasn't going to go but after reassurance from my health visitor I pumped a good amount of breast milk and was went for about 4 hours. It was in the evening and Sunday had been sleeping for about 7 hours straight at this point. Not having a feed for those 7 hours meaning 4 hours away during a time where she would not usually have a feed was fine. Of course breastfeeding is on demand so I left milk for her in a bottle (she had, had a few bottles of breastmilk before just to see if she would take one) and off I went. I had a great time even though I was worried a lot but she slept the whole time. I have now been away from her a hand full of times now and everything has been fine with supply, latch etc. Now that does not mean it would be like that for everyone, this is just my experience. Also keeping in mind the max time I have been away from her is 4 hours and in that time she has either been sleeping, I feed her before I leave and when I get back or if she has a feed while I am out I will make sure to pump when I get home. Leaving a breastfed baby over night, for days or long periods of time I do not have experience in. But a for leaving Sunday for a couple hours I am no longer worried about that. 

(Update on this- Sunday has refused to take a bottle the past two times I have left her- one time was for 2 hours and the other was for 4 hours- she is now eating food so she had food while I was gone and weirdly she was happy to drink my breast milk out of a sippy cup. So yeah as you can see you just have to adapt with your baby. No one experience is the same.) 

3. Clogged milk duct 

I was so scared of getting a clogged milk duct or even worse having mastitis (an infection you can get from a clogged milk duct). Around 2 or 3 months into breastfeeding Sunday I woke up with a very sore right breast. It felt like someone had punched me in the chest and I had a really bad bruise. It looked very red and sore. I phoned my health visitor and she told me to keep feeding Sunday on that side and to massage the area that is sore and that would hopefully fix it. It worked!! I also put a heat pack on it to take away some of the pain while it was sore. That has happened again recently (Sunday is now 7 months old) and I did the same thing and it fixed it again. If you are worried however do not hesitate going to the doctor for advice, I am not medically trained so please speak to a professional. 

Advice for others...

1. Trust your body 

This was the biggest change from the first time I tried breastfeeding to the second and also this was what helped me the most. Trusting my body. First time round I did not believe in my body at all and was convinced I had to teach my body how to breastfeed basically and I had no confidence in myself. This time round determined to breastfeed for at least 12 months I told myself to trust my body and that it knows what to do. Yes I had worries but when it came down to it as long as I was trusting by body I knew that everything would be okay. This meant when baby wanted fed, feed her, the more feeding the more milk supply was built, this was the simple truth and what I kept in mind. This trusting my body also went hand in hand with my next point..trust your baby. 

2. Trust your baby

Women have been breastfeeding since time began; it is the most natural thing in the world. This is why the most important thing when going into breastfeeding is to, like I said, trust your body but also trust your baby. Before the internet, formula etc all there was, was Mum and baby. A baby would be born and without any knowledge Mothers would latch their baby onto their chest and that was that, the trust for baby and body was a necessity. Now although the internet is an amazing invention and like I said, formula has it's place for those who struggle to or do not want to breastfeed, it has also made us doubt ourselves. Many women thinking their body doesn't know how to breastfeed, won't make 'enough milk', their baby won't latch and more before they have even had their baby in their arms; there is no confidence. I cannot stress enough that once that baby is put on your chest and latches on, that is what you need to focus on. Just the two of you. Of course ask for help if you need it and do not stress if baby does not latch instantly but just remember at the end of the day all that is really needed for breastfeeding to work out is to trust the process, trust what as women our bodies are naturally inclined to do and trust that your baby knows this too. Mum and baby, live in that bubble. This helped me so much!!

3. Be informed

Going along with the trusting your body and your baby is this, being informed. This is where the internet can come in handy. When I was pregnant with my first I did no research into breastfeeding and naively believed that because it is natural that it is easy which was so wrong. For some women it may come easy but for other it may be difficult and need to be worked on. Even if it does come easy however being informed about breastfeeding is still a must as there is so much misinformation that can throw you off track or make you worried about breastfeeding when there is no need to be. First time round I listened to a lot of misinformation which really did not get me off to a great start. So read into breastfeeding, follow some breastfeeding mamas on social media, attend a breastfeeding group, talk to a lactation consultant. Please be informed and DO NOT listen to anyone that is telling you that you "won't be able to breastfeed" or any silly myths a long those lines. For example when I was breastfeeding Ella-Grace at 2 days old I was concerned her cluster-feeding was a sign of her not getting enough milk from me and someone very wrongly told me I "had to give her formula because I had no milk", I naively listened but this was of course not true and if I had done my research or spoke to experienced breastfeeding Mothers I would have known that cluster-feeding is NORMAL, babies need only the colostrum in the first few days that you DO have and that it can take days at least for full breast milk to come through. More knowledgeable and informed second time round I was so much more confident and sure of myself and my body. I will leave some links below that I felt helped me prepare for breastfeeding. 

[Helpful breastfeeding links: Breastfeeding NHS 
https://www.laleche.org.uk/get-support/
https://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/
NCT Early Days Breastfeeding ]

4. Keep a log

In the hospital likely you will be given a book in which you can log how often baby feeds and how many wet and dirty nappies baby has. This really helped settle any nerves I had. Seeing this information written down made me feel a lot better, I would not stress about how she was doing because I had logged her progress and did not have to try and keep all the information stored in my sleep deprived head. I could relax which again does help with breastfeeding. If anyone is willing to help you whether that be family member or friend, get them to log it for you. It is not for everyone and I did only keep up with it for about a week or two but it really does give you that extra boost in the beginning to see it down on paper especially if you are a control freak like me. 

5. Ask for help (from the right people) 

Lastly, armed with all of the above if you still have worries please do ask for help- from the right people. By the right people I mean please consult a medical professional (doctor, midwife, lactation consultant) or if you do feel more comfortable with a friend make sure it is someone who knows about breastfeeding and supports that breastfeeding is what you want. Because hearing "you have done 3 weeks of breastfeeding that's good enough you can feel good about formula feeding now" from an in experienced or unsupportive person is not the advice you want if you want to continue breastfeeding. Of course if you did choose to change to formula feeding that is your choice but there is nothing worse than wanting to be supported in your decision and although most people will mean well hearing "just switch to formula" is not advice. Get the right advice from the right people, you and your baby deserve to be supported. 

Proud of myself...

Nearing the end of this post now I would like to say how proud I am of my baby girl, Sunday. She had a bit of a rough start in the world but she is a trouper and a big reason why breastfeeding has gone well is basically because she has latched on and never let go since haha she has taught me how to breastfeed in a way. It is team work however and with that I am so so so proud of myself. I was determined to breastfeed this time round and here I am almost 8 months of exclusively breastfeeding beautiful baby Sunday girl. I believed in myself, my baby and I was informed. I ignored negative comments and unhelpful advice. I embraced the breastfeeding mama I was meant to be and although not always easy is has been one of the best experiences of my life, long may it continue. 12 month breastfeeding goal here I come!!!

Thanks for reading...

And that's it... my breastfeeding blog post is finally complete. I hope it was worth the wait and the read for all you wonderful people. I am so happy to have my experience written out for you all. Please remember I am not a medical professional so any problems or queries please consult qualified people. Again all of this was my own experience and I support all my fellow Mothers (and fathers) in their parenting/feeding experience. The world is a much happier place when we all support each other, no good comes from judgement. 

Please remember to follow me on all my social media to see more of my daily life as a vegan, home ed, Mum of two girls. Drop me a message I love to speak to all my readers!

Lastly, to all my fellow Mamas who want to breastfeed or are just starting out YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!! 

Social media : FB - https://www.facebook.com/laurajaneblog20/

Instagram- @laurajanelifex

Stay Happy Everyone :) <3

Last blog post of the year: Looking back on 2017.

The last blog post of the year...

Goodbye 2017 from LauraJaneLife. Don't worry I will of course be writing again when 2018 rolls around and I am sure between Christmas and New Year I will still be posting on my social media accounts but as for blogs and articles I am taking a little holiday in order to spend some much needed time with my friends and family. So this is the last blog post of the year and because of that I am making it a kind of summary of this year, a thank you to all the people who have been there in the good and bad times of 2017 and an insight into my hopes for 2018. Lets get started.

Rounding up 2017...

So 2017 started with Reece and I sitting on our sofa (Ella-Grace still in my belly at this point, I was around 30 weeks pregnant) knowing this was the year we would become parents, bringing our baby into the world. Now it is coming to an end and going into 2018 with our 9 MONTH OLD little girl (her update will be up after New year), looking forward to our wedding and her first birthday. It has been one amazing year and here are the reasons why as well as rounding up some of the things I went through in 2017.

Ella-Grace...

First and foremost of course is Ella-Grace. On the 19th March 2017 she was brought into the world and it was definitely the BEST thing to happen to me, and Reece. It is so hard to explain in words how much I love her and how much she has enriched our lives, but I will try. Before Ella-Grace I was happy but always dreamed of being a mum, felt like something was missing. When she came into the world yes, baby blues was hard and the start was a struggle but our bond was and continues to be very strong. As time went on, her now being nine months old, she has made me the confident and empowered woman and mother I want to be. Everything I do I do better because of Ella-Grace, I want her to be proud of me, I want to set a good example, I want to teach her right. I want to be my absolute best for her. She is my best friend, my daughter, my reason for always striving to do what is right and what is good. I love her so so so so so much! And still that only explains 1% of how much she means to me. 2017 has been the best year of my life and ALL of that is down to Ella-Grace. I may have given her life but she has gave me a whole new outlook on life and my goodness I have never felt better. We take care of each other. You are my angel my darling and I know you can't read this yet but when you are old enough to, please know how deeply loved you are and that you are a blessing to me and your Dad. We love you so much. 

My Fiance...

We have been together 5 and 1/2 years now and I am so thankful to have him as my future husband. This new year being particularly special as we are now entering 2018, the year I will become his wife. As always Reece has supported me through everything, made me laugh more than anyone else - yes he is slightly annoying BUT I wouldn't change him in anyway. And in 2017 we brought our child into the world which only made our bond stronger. Reece, you work so hard for me and Ella-Grace but never fail to spend time with us when you are home from work. You are the best dad and the best fiance, you have made 2017 a great year supporting me through the hard parts and being right next to be through the good parts. You are the definition of a partner, we go through everything together and always will. I love you very much. 

Postpartum...

Everyone goes through postpartum recovery and to start with I am not going to lie, it was hard and painful. After having a c-section I struggled to move because of the pain just now getting to a point where I feel comfortable that my scar won't rip open when I move (it wouldn't of done that for a while now but it is nerve-wracking for a while). Weight wise I have lost what I gained during my pregnancy but I don't think it is the weight that matters, more the vast amount that your body changes. The stretchy skin on your belly, breasts shrinking, hair loss, skin problems. Lots of problems, It can be disheartening. But looking at my beautiful daughter, knowing that I gave her life, the most amazing thing a body can do. I am proud of my Mum body. I am confident with my non-conforming body. I want Ella-Grace to be comfortable in her body and love the skin she is in and that starts with me doing the same, Leading by example. Not meaning it is easy, sometimes I hate my skin and look at old photos of my body and think, I look so good in that photo, But that does not mean I hate my body now, in fact I love it more than I ever have, I am more confident in my body than I ever have been. So that is where I am now. (Side note: I think everyone should love their bodies no matter what, great if you want to loose weight, great if you want to gain some but always do it in a healthy way and you should never hate your body, We are all beautiful and should lead by example with this mindset for the next generation). 

Vegan Diet...

Before I had Ella-Grace I was a meat and dairy eater like the majority of people but I can tell you right now becoming vegetarian/on my way to being full vegan, is one of the best decisions I have made and is another reason this year has been so great. A lot of people do not understand this which is understandable as we are fed information that we need meat, dairy ect. and I have been judged but I know the facts and I know what I am doing is right for me any my family.  I had wanted to do this for a while and it was having Ella-Grace that gave me the push I needed as I needed to think, how do I want her to be raised? An vegan was what I wanted. I want her to respect animals, I want her to understand that their is a lot of injustice in the farming and dairy/egg industry, I want her to know that her living on a plant-based diet helps the environment we live in so much and that is very important. I cannot stress enough how important it is to look after our environment and I want Ella-Grace to also be an advocate of this. I feel healthier, happier and more at peace knowing that my food is not harming other living beings or the planet in which we live. 

Anxiety...

If you had asked me 2 years ago how I was coping with my anxiety, I would of said I was on the edge of a complete breakdown, But now, although it is still there and I have bad times, I feel a lot happier and a lot more able to control my panic attacks and anxiety. At the start of the year when I was going through baby blues, panic attacks came almost every night and being a new mum was very stressful. But thanks to the support of my family, friends and especially Reece as well as just the amazing bond Ella-Grace and I have, I got through it. And from then on my anxiety has been pretty steady and controlled. Panic attacks do show up now and again but I have definitely got better control of them. Something else that helped this year on the anxiety side of things is that I have just started being totally open and honest about my struggles, writing about it on here as you will know if you read my blog regularly. This has been a big change this year as I used to hide my battles. 2017 has been the year to let me demons out and not be afraid of them anymore. I hope I have inspired some people to also be honest and open with their anxiety. 

Writing...

13th March 2017, still pregnant (3 days past due date), with the support of Reece I decided to star my blog. I am so glad I did as it changed my life. Made me more confident, comfortable with myself, gave me a voice, helped me reach out and make connections with people all over the world and most importantly lead me to other writing opportunities which turned into employment. If I never started my blog I would be returning to work in January, but now I have the privilage being a work-from-home mum. I'm not writing/blogging my way to riches yet but that's not what it is about. I am working at something I love, in the comfort of my own home, not missing any moments of my baby girl and being able to provide for her through it. Keeping my identity as a person separate from my baby at the same time as her being a huge part of everything I publish. Yes it has hard times and getting that balance between time I need to work and time I spend with my family is hard (as you can see above I am often working with Ella-Grace on me- she loves to "help" haha) it is the best job I have ever had and who knows maybe one day I will be writing books. But that's a topic for another day. 

Achievements...

- Giving birth : My birth experience may of ended up being a complete contrast to what I had planned but no matter what kind of birth you have, that is an achievement. I brought life into the world. I am proud!

- Raising Ella-Grace: Yes there are times when I get down and think to myself "I am a terrible mother" (that's usually when I am feeling anxious) but deep down I know this is not true and I know I am doing a great job. I am so proud of how I am raising Ella-Grace and how I have embraced motherhood. That is definitely achievement of 2017. 

-Starting my blog: For as long as I remember I loved writing and I am so glad I started writing my blog! It was a personal achievement for me as it has made me more confident and open. But it is also an achievement because I have helped others through it. 

-Getting my first paid writing job: I could not believe it when I landed my first paid writing job this year. Paid. For Writing. Yes, it is difficult but THE best job I have ever had. I am so proud of myself for getting this job and all the articles I have written this year. 

- Starting a second blog with my friend: This is a recent achievement that I don't think I have even mentioned on this blog yet. My friend, Keely and I started a poetry and short story blog called "Let Us Tell You A Story". We have both wanted to do this for a while and that is finally done. Go over there now and check out our first posts.

- Cutting out meat and dairy: This is definitely an achievement and although I am still on the road to being full vegan, going from meat eater to vegetarian/almost full vegan in less than a year is quite impressive I think because once your used to a certain diet it is hard to change it. But I am so glad I did, feel healthier, happier and I know I am doing good in the world as I mentioned earlier. 

- Being a good person: Don't know if that sounds big headed but I live by a certain set of morals: Be open-minded, be kind and be helpful. And I think this is something to be proud of as there are so much bad things in the world that you can be strayed and sometimes what is good means you have to go against the crowd which takes guts. I am happy to say I will always do what I think is the right thing to do, what is kind, helpful and non-judgmental. Setting an example for my daughter. 

-Controlling Anxiety: Mentioned this one earlier but yes managing my Anxiety and panic disorder has definitely been a battle and I am so proud to say that I am winning. From being that 18 year old girl who would go to extreme, unhealthy methods to stop the anxiety to a 21 year old mother who is confident and even though of course I have slip ups and relapses but nothing like I used to have. I am winning, I control my anxiety not the other way around. This was a long fight and I am proud this year I have made so much progress. 

- Body Positive: This is actually the first year 'lose weight' won't be on my new years resolution list. Whether that is because I have become more confident or because I adore my body that brought my daughter into the world I don't know but I am very body positive now. Which has helped with my anxiety and also has stopped me saying negative things which means my daughter won't learn to be negative about her body which I think is so important! In this society loving the skin your in can be hard but I am so proud I have got to this point. Embracing my mum bod. 

Hopes for 2018...

- Happy. healthy family: Number one on my hopes for 2018 is of course for continuing happiness for my little family. Ella-Grace and Reece are my world and I want the best for them, that will always be my priority. I want to continue to be the best mother and fiance I can be for them. 

-Another writing job: This would be great for us financially and good experience for me to gain and put on my CV. I hope to write a book in the future so anything that can help me get there eventually would be amazing. 

- Wedding: Finally marrying the love of my life!! I cannot wait to be able to introduce Reece as my husband! Honestly so excited even if the planning has been stressful and expensive. The main thing is that there will be a day to celebrate our love. I would say I hope the day is perfect but as long as I get to be Mrs Webster at the end of they day and that Ella-Grace is a big part of the day, that's all that matters. 

-First birthday: Ella-Grace is the best thing that has ever happened to me as I have said and although we were originally thinking of just having a tiny celebration, we can't help but want to have a semi-big party (sticking to a budget) as that is what she deserves. She is just amazing and I want to basically say thank you so much to her for blessing our lives and how grateful we are for the best year of our lives. I hope that we can make her birthday very special and that she has a great day. 

- Blog growth: I love all of you readers, I never expected to even have minimal viewings on my blog never mind a moderate finding, building my own little kindness community and have messages from people all over the world on social media that can relate. In 2018 I hope my blog grows and reaches more people who may also be able to relate, who I might be able to help. 

-Look into moving: I doubt we will be moving in 2018 but looking into it after the wedding would be great so we have an idea of what we want. And who knows maybe an extra bedroom would be good in case we ever have a brother or sister for Ella-Grace (definitely not anytime soon though, this is not a pregnancy announcement haha). Edinburgh here we come (hopefully). 

Thank you, Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year...

So that's it, the last blog post of 2017!  I can't believe this year is ending it has truly been the best year of my life. Thank you to everyone who has made it so great! From of course the two loves of my life, Reece and Ella-Grace who drive me to be my best. I love you two so much. Thanks to my parents, siblings, bestfriends who have been around for years, new mum friends I have met since having Ella-Grace, NHS staff that helped me bring my daughter into the world, my editor for giving me my first writing job, the lovely people who read my blog and send me lovely messages of support. Thanks to this planet for the life it gives all of us. I am so very grateful and blessed to have the life I have, it may not be full of fancy things but it is full of love and happiness and that is what really matters. I hope I have been part of what has made someone else's 2017 great. Have the best Christmas and the best New year. I will see you the first week of January for the next post! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! 

Social Media

To keep updated with me over the Christmas period and to be notified of when my next blog post will be up please follow my social media. Linked above this blog post or on homepage. And here are some (by some I mean A LOT) of my favourite pictures of  2017 and for the last time this year....

Stay Happy Everyone :) !