My Pregnancy Journey. (Part 1)

Back again...
Had a really good response from my first blog post yesterday, especially
from those with children/expecting. For that reason I've decided to write about my pregnancy from the first test to now, 4 days overdue walking like a penguin. It will be split into 3 different posts as I have a lot to say and don't want to miss detail. So here is Part One.

Overview...
First of all I would like to say I feel more than blessed to of been able to not only get pregnant and carry a baby past term but blessed to be in a position to look forward to my child coming into the world thanks to all the support from my fiancé, friends and family. I know some people struggle to get pregnant or if they do have a lot to stress throughout the pregnancy therefore hindering their experience, so for this magical time I am very grateful and feel very privileged.
Following on from this although my pregnancy has been mostly straightforward thankfully, there were some tough things my partner and I had to go through the past few months in preparation of bringing our little darling into the world. These things only family and close friends really know but I am willing to now discuss with well the world as I would like to continue to be very truthful on my blog and if anyone else is going through or has gone through anything similar to this, know your not alone and don't be scared! So here it is my pregnancy journey!

OMG! I'm pregnant...
Without going into the intimate details of mine and my partners relationship (think this would be a bit TMI for most readers let alone our families). As much as I wanted a baby, Reece and I were not planning on having a baby anytime soon. We were busy with work and focusing on our wedding but knowing we were in love, were able to support a child and my anxiety had really improved we were being rather.. carefree lets say (again keeping it away from the TMI). So for about 6 months I was constantly thinking oh could I be pregnant? Getting my hopes up just to be torn down when my period would start. June came and went, where Reece and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary I had come to the conclusion pregnancy wasn't going to happen. Around the start of July, we had planned to have a night of drinks with our two close friends noticing a few days before this that I was late? So just to be on the safe side I decided to purchase a pregnancy test on my lunch break at work obviously thinking I was not pregnant but if by some chance I was I would certainly not be drinking! So sure though that I either couldn't get pregnant or at least was definitely not pregnant this month I took the pregnancy test at work then right there in front of my eyes TWO LINES!!! I had to do a double take before taking a picture and sending it to Reece via WhatsApp, "What does that mean?" he responded (makes me laugh now haha), then for the first time I said it "Pregnant" !!
Work slowly passed and I rushed home to speak to Reece, we were meant to be having people over in a few hours and I still had to get ready and oh yeah HELLO I just found out I'm pregnant! Reece still in a bit of shock said it would probably be a good idea to take the second pregnancy test just to be sure and to pop over to our local TESCO to get a clear blue test to be triple sure before speaking in depth about it. So we already knew the first test was positive... second test also positive but lines slightly fainter and then after downing a whole bottle of juice I managed to take the Clearblue test... PREGNANT 2-3 WEEKS! Excited and in shock I show Reece and give him a big hug, giving him 5 minutes to get out of his shocked state he then became excited! Fair to say that night went very different to what had been planned and so the sober 9 months began.

The first 12 weeks were the longest...
Ah the first stages of pregnancy, morning sickness aka every hour of the day sickness (seriously don't even think about going near the fridge YOU WILL SPEW!).
The first 12 weeks were crazy to be honest, obviously we were keeping the pregnancy a secret for this time as miscarriage is more likely in the first 12 weeks but looking back I wish I had just told everyone as the secrecy caused me so much anxiety and if I was to miscarry in those first few months there would of been nothing to be ashamed of but somehow societies norm of secrecy in the early stages of pregnancy almost -for me at least- forces you into a feeling of shame if a miscarriage was to of occurred, I don't like that. So yeah if anyone reading this is trying to get pregnant or is in the first 12 weeks and want's to tell people go for it! I know its not the norm and not everyone agrees but if I were to get pregnant again I would tell the world, much less lonely, much less stress, much less accidental shame and fear. I do understand some people don't want to share the news till later which is understandable this is just my take on it! I mean your body is growing a life and whether that time be short or long, its a miracle to be celebrated!
Anyway the first doctors appointment came and went, the first midwife appointment came and went. All still a bit surreal we found out baby was due 10th March 2017 (little girl obviously has other ideas but yeah that was her said due date haha). We moved house and went on holiday within these 12 weeks which with morning sickness and mood swings was not the greatest but we managed to still enjoy ourselves in anticipation for the first scan!
Now the first scan, this makes my stomach turn a little as it was not as much of a pleasant experience as I think it could of been but let me explain before getting into details. By this time we had told family the news and my parents had agreed to meet us at the hospital for the first scan to support us. I was nervous, not sure about Reece he has nerves of steel, always has but I was very nervous (again partly due to the scaremongering and shame of this secret I felt). I think I hid my nerves well from my parents as I didn't want them to worry. Reece and I got taken into the room for the scan and in there was a trainee sonographer who asked us if we wanted downs syndrome screening, this not worrying us but the fact that it was just sprung on us without any further information was a bit of a shock to the system. I'm the type of person that likes to be fully informed before making a decision like this so for it to be just asked out of the blue with the expectation of a split second answer shook me. I think the sonographer could tell this so she gave us a leaflet to look over while she scanned another lady. Going back out of the room Reece and I discussed it and asked my parents for some advice then coming to the conclusion that even though we didn't mind if our baby had a chromosomal disorder it would be nice to know the chances.. this I partly regret because of the experience we have had in the scan but oh well that's over now.
So again we went into the scan room and seen our baby for the first time. As anyone who has been through this experience will probably tell you it is magical and surreal, think Reece finally realised he was going to become a Dad. Perfect moment right there!! So she continued to scan the baby all looking good but then it came to the downs screening which for those of you who don't know they measure the fluid (nuchal translucency) behind the babies neck and if it measures 3.5mm or more it is a sign of downs syndrome.. our baby had a measurement of 3.6mm much to the alarm of two young parents-to-be. Since she was a trainee, the sonographer got an experienced member of staff in to re-do the measurement and she got 3.5mm so still a bit alarming. This I was okay with though I would love my child if they came out green and purple with 5 arms, still my child and I know Reece felt the same but as the sonographers explained to me the risk I felt like a pressure for me to be upset? As if I wasn't I was a bad person or something? I started to cry, gripping Reece's hand hard. To this day I feel like I was put under a bit of pressure by those staff members as they explained the risks to me which I understand they have to do but the way they stared at me, not letting me sit up even though they had stopped scanning leaving me vulnerable as they basically preached (keeping in mind taking no notice of the father of the baby who was right there too) I don't know I just felt this overwhelming feeling of stress, pressure and anxiety so the tears started to flow.
After calming myself down and getting some blood taken to test for further signs of downs syndrome we left the scanning department and went to see my parents, I knew they would be worried as due to me being upset and needing blood tests I had been quite a while longer than probably expected. My dad being my dad he automatically said something accidentally upsetting me "I know there's something wrong". And their I go again with the tears now cuddling into my mum. We all went to sit in the café and looked at the pictures of our little bundle of joy, discussing exactly what happened in the scan. My parents and Reece managed to calm me down and then my parents drove us home. Family phoned, scan photos posted on Facebook now for the world to see. Reece and I spent the night cuddling and reading the joyous comments of our friends over our news and even though the day had been stressful and emotional the main thing was our little wriggler was alive in my body, moving, kicking and even though I could not feel her yet I loved her and no statistic on a scan would change that. I was a mum and Reece a dad. A life in its purest form I am holding in my body.

*Getting emotional just writing about this, Hormoonnneeesss!!!*

End of Part One.
So that's the first 12 weeks of pregnancy covered! Hope it was enjoyable to read, sorry if it had a bit of a sad tone but as I said my blog is truthful. Any comments or advice welcome.
Stay Happy Everyone :)