All Things Mental Health

10th October 2017, World Mental Health Day..

A blog post close to my heart. Good evening readers, this was not the blog post I had planned to upload. Yesterday I had started "10 Things I Want To Achieve Before I'm 30" as some of you may know through my social media. I was prepared for that to be what I uploaded today but then when scrolling through Instagram- It's World Mental Health Day! Struggling with mental illness myself and always being an advocate of how important mental health is, I couldn't not write a blog post about it. So sorry to those who may be disappointed as they wanted to read the other post but not to worry that one will be up VERY soon! Happy Reading.

All Things Mental Health....

The reason I named this post "All Things Mental Health" instead of "World Mental Health Day 2017" is because I want to not just write about how important World Mental Health Day is, but I wanted to talk about my mental health, how society views mental health, what I think should be done, a message to anyone having a tough time with mental health and of course the importance of World Mental Health Day. Yes that is a lot! So I thought "All Things Mental Health" was suitable for what I wanted to talk about, not to mention preparing all the readers for the quantity of writing that may be involved haha. I know a lot of you read my blog posts as a quick read, especially those with children as you don't have much time to read - trust me I know, I have been trying to read the Handmaid's Tale for about a month now- so don't feel you have to read all this at once, come back to it later if need be. But I do think it will be worth a read despite the length because as I said, Mental Health is so very important.

My Mental Health.... 

If you have been following my other blog posts you will know that I have suffered from anxiety and panic disorder my entire life, however to only be diagnosed in recent years. I have been through very dark times, dealing with my anxiety in very dangerous ways but slowly but surely I recovered and I am not dealing with my anxiety in healthy ways. I still have panic attacks, I had one yesterday. But with the support of my family and friends and the motivation i get from my beautiful daughter, I can get through it. 

- To read my full anxiety story please go to this blog post  Recovery is possible      - 

So that is the recap. My mental health at the moment is in a good place but for it to be that way I use many coping mechanisms. In the bad times when I do have panic attacks there are certain things I do to get through them. So I thought why not list these here, it might help someone. 

My Coping mechanisms

When I get anxious: 

Reading 
I don't do this one as much anymore as I do not have time- as I said earlier I have been trying to read "The Handmaids Tale" for about 3 weeks now and I am on page 2 haha). But when I do have the chance, it really calms me down. Books have the power to transport you to another place. You completely zone out of all your problems and you delve into the world in which the book takes place. A lost magic for many younger people I would say with all the technology. I hope to teach my daughter the wonders of books (actual paper books not kindles) and hopefully this may be her stress out-let like her Mama. 
Writing
As you all know of course, writing is a big stress buster for me. If I am having a particularly anxious day, getting it all out on my blog or blog social media pages to all you readers gives me a sense of relief. I have never been one for being able to tell someone face to face my problems, I am much better on paper. Writing is my passion and when I get into the zone I can really go for hours.
Bubble Bath 
Again I haven't been doing this one as recently at the moment. As strange as it sounds, having baths when it is dark outside or later on in the night is a big anxiety trigger for me. I don't know why it can just cause me stress and as it is getting dark earlier there are not enough hours in the day to let me have a bath when it does not make me anxious. But the days Reece is off work where I can have a bath in the day time. OMG. So relaxing, a hot bath with candles and a youtube video on (usually Zoella, Pointless Blogs or Jenna Marbles) it is heaven. All my stresses go away. A great way for me to manage my anxiety before it turns into a panic attack.
Talking- If I am feeling very anxious Reece always knows. So obviously I tell him what is wrong. This can either be a small few sentences or a half an hour rant, either way I will end up calm in Reece's arms. He is the ying to my yang (I think I am using that saying right haha) he is so calm and that kind of vibe just chills me out completley. Unless (sorry babe) he is the one at that moment unintentionally giving me anxiety then talking to him probably isn't the best idea but luckily this is rarely the case.
Distraction 
Pretty much all of the things I have just said fit into this but yes, distraction is a great idea! I don't mean distraction from things you have to inevitably deal with but distraction from the anxiety of it so you can deal with those things in a better head space. Watch a happy movie (my choice is usually matilda, shrek, arthur christmas or despicable me), watch YouTube videos, read a book, listen to music, write, go for a walk, phone your mum, play with your child. All of these things are a great way to say bye, bye to anxiety and hello to calm. Maybe you won't be happy, I am not saying this solves all my anxiety but it does stop me from having a breakdown or panic attack which means I am still in a calme enough mindset to be able to cope. Which as a mum, usually by myself with my daughter almost daily. Pushing through my anxiety and being able to do the things a mum needs to do is my main priority.

During A Panic Attack:
Removing myself from situation
Very Important. If you are having a panic attack especially if it is because of your environment or the person you are around at that moment of time. Remove yourself from that situation. The panic attack may continue or it may subside. For me it usually does continue for while but removing myself from the triggering situation instantly takes it down a peg and I will begin to calm down. If you have removed yourself from the situation and the panic attack continues one of the following may also help stop it.
Going for a walk 
Walk it off. Fresh air is always a good stress buster for me. When I am having a panic attack, a lot of the time I can start to feel very claustrophobic so getting outside in the fresh air and walking can really help. Just keep walking until you feel the panic attack subsiding. This really helped me during my baby blues just after Ella-Grace was born. Having a c-section I was stuck in the flat a lot and with my anxiety and hormones going crazy, I felt like I was always on the edge of panicking so taking Ella-Grace out for a short walk (whatever I could manage) worked wonders for me and is part of what got me through that tough time. 
Deep Breaths 
This one can be difficult but if you can manage it, it will really help. Slow, deep breaths. Calming breaths. I tend to hyperventilate or stop breathing all together (that is what it feels like anyways) so being able to regulate my breathing can really help and make me feel a step closer to calming down.
Sleeping 
Sleep the panic away. A lot of the time panic attacks and anxiety can cause you to lose sleep. Sleep deprivation just making your anxiety worse and increasing the chance of panic attacks. So if you can use the other coping mechanisms to calm yourself down enough, try and take a nap or get a good nights sleep. It can make a world of difference.
Letting it run itself out 
The last resort unfortunately. Sometimes anxiety will just be too much and I just have to let the panic attack run it's course. I pace around the room, I breath fast, sometimes I cry, sometimes I just sit and stare. Panic attacks can affect me in a lot of different ways and when it is overwhelming all I can do is let it happen. It can take minutes or it can take hours but keeping in mind it will be over and I will be happier always gets me through. Being a mum helps as even if I am having a panicky moment I have to look after Ella-Grace so that really helps me get through it and it passes quick. I am very lucky.

I hope knowing the ways I get through my anxiety and panic attacks help you if you are gong through the same thing. Now I know in my writing I must sound like I am fine, everything is a breeze, my anxiety hardly bothers me but that is not the case. Right now as I am writing this I am in a good place, I am not anxious which is not surprising as, as I just said this is a coping mechanism for me so of course I am calm now. Truthfully last night I went to bed early as I was having a panic attack, my mouth goes very dry and I get a banging headache when I get anxious, I cry for irrational reasons. I overthink things daily from why did I say that to why am I not a good enough mother. I can be a mess but that is the point. You wouldn't know that unless I was telling you like I am now, I can put on a brave face, I have coping mechanisms. This is what so many people use day to day to hide that they are struggling. I don't do that any more, if I am not okay I say I am not okay and I am so thankful to be able to do that. Not everyone can, people are still struggling in silence but as a society we can help and change that. Which brings me to my next point....

Society's View on Mental Health... 

Now before I get into what I think needs to change I would like to say that the awareness and support on mental health and mental illness has improved a lot over the years, there is help out there for people now that there never was before. You see advertisements on TV that tell you its okay to be struggling with mental issues. The internet has so many forums where people can get information and talk. So it is not all bad and if there is anyone out there who is really struggling and needs help I am going to link organisations below that could help you, please give them a look. 

But as well as the positive there is the negative and society still has a long way to go. MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS PHYSICAL HEALTH, IT IS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY! As I said I am in a position and place now that I am confident in talking about my battles with anxiety, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, depression. Because the worst of that is behind me and I am very much in a happy head space (majority of the time) and I am able to look upon mental illness and mental health objectively and I know that it is okay not to be okay and it is okay to struggle mentally. But so many people struggle with this, so many people hide behind a fake smile and social media. So many people are suffering in silence. This should not be the case. If someone breaks their leg, people rush to sign their cast and offer to help. People say they feel depressed and so many people are quick to judge and say "stop attention-seeking" or "just get over it". Which I can tell you is so harmful to people who are having a tough time with their mental health. Mental Health needs to be taken as seriously as Physical Health. This is vital to saving so many lives. 

So lets start a change here, next time you see someone status on Facebook saying "I hate my life" instead of brushing it aside as attention seeking, why not give them a message to ask if they are okay? Next time you hear someone crying in the bathroom, see cuts on someones arm, someone being bullied, someone sitting alone in a classroom, even someone who is just looking sad. Ask if they are okay, ask if they want to sit with you, just say HI. I am going to be honest the amount of times I sat with a slight part of my long sleeve up hoping someone would notice a cut and ask if I needed help, some may say that is attention seeking but it so is not. It was not the attention I craved it was the help. I had no idea where to start to get help so I just wanted someone to notice I was struggling and not judge me. Luckily I had amazing people around me but again not everyone does. So please remember to ask someone if they are okay and mean it because change starts with you. 

In my opinion as well as society needing to change, the medical help people receive really needs to improve. In my experience the "help" I received from doctors and hospitals was dreadful, the amount of times I had been in hospital and was sent home after observation with a leaflet and a "have a good day". People are sent to hospital in the darkest time because of MENTAL health but as long as their PHYSICAL health is okay they are sent home. This makes no sense to me. I know hospitals are short of beds and I know there are medical professionals out there each and every day that do provide amazing help to those with mental illness and to those people I thank you. You are amazing. But the medical system as a whole, I think really needs to give more help to people in mental distress. Along with this I think it should be taught in schools or at least a talk every year on mental illness, signs to look out for when someone is depressed, how to cope with mental illness in a healthy way, who you can contact and above all it should be taught that (again) not being okay IS okay and you will not be judged. If a child is off school due to anxiety or depression it should not be looked on as "skiving or ditching or laziness" it should be looked upon as a stomach bug or any other physical illness would be, as time needed to get better. It has been a few years since I have been in school but from what I have heard from parents or younger people themselves, schools have not changed much and unfortunately the mental well-being of students is not their top priority. Again this does not go for all schools but definitely some. If society as a whole comes together and accepts that we all have mental health, we are all on the mental health spectrum. We all have good and bad mental health days. We ALL could one day suffer from a mental illness and you should treat others how you would wish to be treated if you were suffering. That would change everything for the better.  

To Anyone Going Through A Hard Time...

Firstly, You are important. You are loved. You are strong and you WILL get through this. Look at me from my darkest hours to having a beautiful daughter, getting married in a few months and working from home doing what I love. I recommend talking to a family member or friend and a doctor, they really are the people who should be able to help you. Things may seem dark right now but light is at the end of the tunnel. I know it is easy to roll your eyes at this, that is what I used to do. But please, reach out to someone. A family member, a friend, your doctor, a pet (yes, a pet if that is who you feel comfortable confiding in) people care about you I promise. Find someone or something that makes you happy and focus all your positive energy in that. You are important. The links below are to organisations that may be able to help you, one of which has helped me in the past. If none of this you feel will help you, please message me I have no problem making the time to message you even if you just want someone to say hi to today. I know how much I would of appreciated that in my darkest hours. As a last bit of advice that I give to literally EVERYONE: tell yourself what you would tell someone else. We always give others the positive advice "You will get through this, of course you matter, don't give up" but to ourselves "I am horrible, no one cares about me, I don't deserve happiness". This is so crazy. For some reason it is bad to love and care for yourself in society when it definitely not. So if you like so many others feel you are negative to yourself, please give yourself the advice you would give someone else because I bet you it is a hell of a lot more positive than what you are giving yourself. Love yourself, your great! 

Samaritians

Mind

SANE

SAMH

Why World Mental Health Day is so important....

I have probably covered it already but to summarise, World Mental Health Day is so important because it raises awareness. Every year, around the world it is a day that everyone is reminded that mental health is important. Mental illness is real. People post positive quotes, pictures, articles, blog posts just like this one. People are there for each other on this day and who knows World Mental Health day may have just stopped someone from ending their life because they have felt heard, listened to even without speaking. It does get better. Today shows that. 

Thank you for reading and I hope you are all well....

That was probably the longest and most all over the place blog post I have ever wrote. But that is because to me this is like having a chat with a close friend. I ramble on, I want my blog to be a friendly and kind place that you feel like you are just chatting to a friend. I hope you all feel that way. I hope this has helped anyone who needs a little boost again I am more than happy to reply to messages on my social media page (Facebook, Instagram and twitter linked above this post). When I eventually leave this earth I want to of made a difference and leave the legacy to my amazing daughter that Mummy may have not been the richest, the most famous or even the most successful but she cared and helped and made a difference. A role model I would be happy to have and I hope to be for her. Thank you so much again. My next blog post will be up very soon. Love yourself, take care of yourself and as always......

Stay Happy Everyone :) !