Mum Truths: Post- Pregnancy Body Image

2nd Blog post this week wow....

Hello again beautiful readers and welcome to the SECOND blog post this week (thanks to Ella-Grace having a long nap right now). So since having Ella-Grace I have been watching a lot of morning TV including Loose Women, this is a show I only usually watch occasionally but these past few weeks they have started a campaign which they have called 'Loose Women: Body Stories' and  today I will be telling mine. My Body Story and to be more specific be talking about Post-Pregnancy Body Image and as always a genuine view on how I've felt about my body since my baby was born. Hope you enjoy reading!

Before Baby Girl...
So before I was pregnant I was relatively happy with my body. I have always been around a size UK 10- 12 and as most people I go through stages of "I'm going to go to the gym and tone up" which never seems to happen and I end up with the usual attitude of "I don't care what other people think I'm happy the way I am". So overall before I was pregnant I never really thought about 'body image' that much I mean I would have anxious times about it but of all the things my anxiety usually effects this wasn't a major one (thankfully). I would go out in town with my friends as wear whatever I wanted as anyone should do- crop tops, skirts, tight dresses.. all these things I was confident to wear. Then I got pregnant and I couldn't see it at the time but now when I look back at photos of me with a bump I always think, wow I looked really nice! I loved showing off my bump so was still able to wear a variation of what I did before to show off the bump (maybe not the crop tops but you know what I mean haha). All this mostly positive image, after baby things changed.

What is my body...
So after having half my body numbed, not being able to walk because of the pain of the c-section and you know the massive responsibility of looking after a new born baby, the way my body looked wasn't the first thing on my mind in fact it wasn't on my mind. A few days later however I just remember getting out the shower and looking in the mirror at my body for the first time, my once perfect baby bump that was holding my precious little girl was an empty, now useless lump of flesh. Being very honest here as always because otherwise whats the point, my belly was sagging - something I had never experienced before- I don't know what I was expecting it to look like to be honest but it wasn't this. So this even though a shock didn't immediately make me upset and I went and carried on with my day. Later on (not sure if the same day or few days later) I asked Reece to look at my c-section scar just to make sure it was doing okay. Lifting up my top I waited for him to tell me what it looked like... silence... "Em babe I need you to lift your baby skin a bit", oh goodness that was a bit awkward. I mean as sweet as Reece was calling it baby skin instead of the many other not so nice options he had, hearing your fiance ask you to lift your belly doesn't exactly make you feel beautiful.
Even after this awkward encounter I wasn't feeling too bad about it, as I explained in my other blog post on baby blues the first two weeks were full of bonding with my baby and dealing with baby blues not thinking about the way I look,
Weeks had now past, Ella-Grace was almost a month old and I had started to notice little things. The sag of my belly you could see when wearing leggings and I had to wear long tops to hide it, the majority of my wardrobe was full of clothes that I couldn't wear, even maternity stuff just made me look either fat or about 6 months pregnant which was not the look I was going for. The fact that I didn't really know my body or how to dress it anymore was starting to get to me.

Tears in Primark...
Ella-Grace now over a month old, Reece being his usual lovely self he came home with a bunch of roses and asked me if I wanted to go on a date (He's a keeper) to which I obviously said yes. It had been organised for my sister to babysit for us and we were going to go for our first meal out since having our daughter. Although anxious about leaving Ella-Grace for the first time I was excited to have a night that I could dress up and spend some one on one time with my fiance. A few days before Reece, Ella-Grace and I went into town for lunch and Reece offered to buy me an outfit for our date as he knew I was having trouble fitting into my pre-pregnancy wardrobe. 10 mins looking round Primark and I told Reece I just wanted to go home, he tried to get me to stay but as tears built into my eyes he knew it was time to go. I'm not sure what exactly triggered my mini breakdown but I just remember looking at all the clothes I liked and thinking I can't wear that and feeling like I had to just find the baggiest thing possible which of course I didn't like. I felt like the style I liked and had always worn I would have to change and I was no longer able to be me in a way. Being a mum is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me but I still have an identity away from my baby and I felt like that had been stripped away from me.
All this sounds silly now I'm saying it considered it had only been like 4 weeks and it was just clothes but that's how I felt in that moment. I didn't speak the whole way home, poor Reece must of been so confused. (Despite this I would like to say I did end up finding an outfit and we had a lovely date night- picture below).

First night out and Confidence Building... 
So for a few more weeks I felt quite crappy about my body and no matter how many times people said "You look great" or how many times Reece insisted "Your sexy" I was still down about the way I looked and my vast reduction in clothing choices- baggy or nothing that's it. Then a few weeks ago I had my first night out and again a few day s before I braved the shops- this time on my own as Reece had some daddy , daughter time with Ella-Grace- it took me 3 hours and a lot of trying on things (the shop assistants must of thought I was mad)  but I found an outfit, When the night out came and I had the chance to get dolled up and re-discover my carefree 20 year old self for a few hours I was feeling a lot more body confident and within a few hours I just wanted home to my baby girl so I went home very early but with a newly found sense of body confidence. I scrubbed up well considering my saggy baby skin haha.
(Picture Below)

I Love my Mum Bod.... 
Yes, I am eating healthy (as best I can) and just starting to workout again but I love my Mum Bod and with Ella-Grace being my main priority getting a Kim Kardashian figure is not top on my to-do list. After getting all dressed up I really put things into perspective. I JUST HAD A BABY! Of course your body is going to change, it just grew a human being in it and my sagging skin and stretch marks are not something to cry about they are to be celebrated, they are something I should be proud and privileged to have. Because of this change to my body I got my beautiful daughter. Yes of course I sometimes it still bothers me but over all my body confidence has vastly improved.

Stop Comparing yourself...
Now referring back to the stimulus for this blog post- Loose women Body Stories. This was my Body Story, as for all your body stories I hope they all end with you feeling confident in yourself. Feel too fat, too thin, ugly, spotty, too tall. too short, one leg, heck if you are green skinned with eight eyes YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! There is only one of you, work it and be confident. As a society we are diseased with comparing ourselves to others, don't do it, you are you and that is amazing and I can guarantee you might be comparing yourself to someone else thinking they are prettier or thinner ect. but I bet they are also comparing themselves with someone else too- its a vicious cycle that must stop. Find something you love about yourself and focus on that and as for the mums like me who might feel like they are losing themselves in their role of being a mum.. 5 minutes.. find 5 minutes to do your make up or hair or whatever makes you feel like you look on fleek and you will feel so much better.

And that's another post finished... 
Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed it and it maybe was something you could relate to, please feel free to comment what was your post-pregnancy body experience? What is your body story?
Before I go (I can hear Ella-Grace stirring think its feeding time) if you haven't seen the Loose Women: Body Stories its worth a look- a very positive campaign which I think is needed and also speaking of body confidence why not make someones day and give someone a compliment tomorrow, today, within the hour whenever- it might just give someone that boost they need to be confident and go from body conscious to body confident. Till next time readers.

Stay Happy Everyone :)!